The Man Who Mistook His Job for His Life: How to Thrive at Work by Leaving Your Emotional Baggage Behind

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How Does "The Man Who Mistook His Job for His Life" Emphasize the Importance of Achieving Work-Life Balance? Shragai shows how change often begins with understanding. She is wise, experienced and often gives good advice”

It would be easy to see how a history of work spanning such a vast timeframe could be full of vague extrapolations from archaeological studies, but it’s the detail that makes this so gripping. In Urukin Mesopotamia (now Iraq), in the fourth millennium BC, for example, there were leather workers, washermen, reed workers, barbers, weavers, builders, metal workers, potters, priests, musicians and scribes. Scribes had their own vocational training. In these early cities, administrative centres took care of the workers and handled “the redistribution of goods”. This was often on a rather paternalistic model. Ashurnasirpal II of Assyria invited 69,574 guests to a banquet that lasted 10 days. In Mesopotamia, by about 1000 BC, there were wage workers, self-employed people, subcontractors and slaves. Combined with the reciprocal and “tributary” models of labour relations (“tributary” being based on obligation to the state, with non-monetary reward), these are, he asserts, the six categories of labour relations. “From this point,” he says, “the history of work may be conceived as an endless shift between these basic forms.” Endings need to be marked by rituals to help people move on, but it is important to find out how the individual would like to mark their leaving. Ensuring it is recognised in a positive way reinforces a safe working culture and allows the possibility for future working relationships. In “The Man Who Mistook His Job for His Life: How to Thrive at Work by Leaving Your Emotional Baggage Behind,” Naomi Shragai explores the significant impact that leaders’ awareness of their own emotional baggage can have on shaping organizational culture and creating a more empathetic and supportive work environment. The book delves into the idea that leaders play a pivotal role in setting the tone for the emotional climate of their organizations. Unless such bad endings are analysed and processed, unfair accusations can become internalised and the person made to feel inadequate. They are then likely to take their aggrieved feelings and project them into their next job, repeating a similar dynamic.Moreover, the author highlights how cultivating these skills can have a ripple effect on the overall workplace culture. A work environment where emotional intelligence is valued and promoted can lead to higher levels of employee engagement, satisfaction, and retention. It fosters a culture of respect, understanding, and open communication, which are essential for a thriving workplace. I am an executive coach, psychological business consultant and qualified psychotherapist with over 30 years’ experience working with organisations, executives and teams, as well as individuals, couples and families.

I wrote #ValuedAtWork to spotlight practices that are still reality for so many women and others from under-recognised groups, and here is an excerpt for the #LinkedInBookClub with some top tips for positive change… There are several areas discussed which include defensiveness, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, fear of rejection, overachievement, personality clashes (who hasn’t had one of those), paranoia, fear of conflict and narcissism.

How This Book Began

Michael’s psychological make-up was such that he was forever striving to accommodate and work harder when things got tough, but this only aggravated matters. The learning curve for him was recognising that regardless of his commitment, drive and integrity, he was never going to thrive in this particular organisation. Eventually, he was able to walk away knowing the failure was not his.

Ask yourself also if the circumstances are just difficult and need working through or if they are symptomatic of a difficult individual or a larger cultural issue that is unlikely to change. Communication skills are also a vital part of emotional management in the workplace. The book advises on developing assertive communication techniques, which allow individuals to express their needs and feelings honestly and respectfully, without letting emotions dictate the conversation. This approach can lead to more constructive interactions and less misunderstanding.

Excerpts from the Book

Nobody understands the everyday madness of working life better than Naomi Shragai. This book should be read by everyone who ventures anywhere near an office' - Lucy Kellaway I think this book is good at raising awareness about the causes of our own behaviour and that of others. However, it isn't big on solutions. In part this is because it would be difficult to undo a lifetime of conditioning through some simple steps - although some books try to do this, of course.

We too often fail to manage job endings well. The consequences not only affect the person leaving, but can also harm staff remaining — and the company itself. A client in my psychotherapy practice, for example, could only recall two retirement parties in his 30-year career in banking. “Everybody else either said ‘f**k you’ on the way out the door, or they got fired.” The world starts and ends entirely inside your mind. No matter where you end up, no matter how rich, or successful you become, you won't enjoy any of it if you get there at the expense of your mental health.

As a leader, you should find a better way to communicate expectations to your team, in a facilitative manner. It's good to distinguish areas where perfectionism is needed and where mistakes are tolerable, then align expectations accordingly. They are so frightened about jeopardising their pay-off that they don’t speak to colleagues or respond to questions. It’s catastrophic: not only losing the job, but the friendships at work.” Furthermore, Shragai explores how emotional maturity, achieved through personal development, enhances one’s leadership capabilities. Leaders who are in tune with their emotions and have dealt with their emotional baggage are better equipped to handle team dynamics, provide empathetic leadership, and foster a positive work environment. This not only leads to better team performance but also increases a leader’s credibility and influence within the organization. Nobody understands the everyday madness of working life better than Naomi Shragai. This book should be read by everyone who ventures anywhere near an office.' - Lucy Kellaway, Financial Times She explains: “I had a view of how one behaves and he began to call that into question, which made me wonder: ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ And because I didn’t have a sense of where the calibration was, it created a huge degree of fear and constant dread.”