How To Eat To Live, Not to Die: Simple Scientific Approach To Foods that Prevent and Reverse Disease for Longer Life

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That’s how I felt when I woke up on the floor of a storage room again(homeless) this morning. I’m tired of living. Just too much suffering. Sorry that you feel the same. find someone who actually loves me….. and my parents split up and both attempt suicide on Xmas eve. Hi Hayden, I want you to know that you matter so much to me and to those who have never met you. In your short life you do not deserve to feel like you have to survive or take care of your siblings. You should not have to take care of things that your parents or caregivers are supposed to be taking care of themselves. You should be loved and cared for too. For decades I didn’t even know he had been abused sexually. The physical, verbal and emotional abuse I knew about; we both received daily doses of all that. The sexual abuse floored me. It shouldn’t have, yet there it was from the mouth of one of my own abusers. When I look at pictures of myself from before 2020 it looks like a completely different person. I was fit and was the kind of person that would go on 70 mile bike rides on nice days. I didn’t own a car and walked pretty much everywhere and I was always in motion. I loved my job and I was rising through the ranks. I turned 30 in 2019 and after having lots of fits and starts in my twenties I was really looking forward to this period of my life, with my relationship, travel, interesting work, and so on.

Hi Stacey, yes I have had lots of counselling and talking therapies. The problem I have is that most of these “therapies” have a “one size fits all” kind of response. But not everyone is the same and that’s why, I think, none of them have really helped me. For a lot of us, it never “gets better”…it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse…a window might open, but as soon as we step through something horrible happens and we end up worse than if we hadn’t gone through. None of you have any valid reason to want to die, get a damn life and stop being such drama queens. Well, I gotta tell you that it’s all true. Life can turn around. We do each have a gift that is ours alone to give. There are people in our lives who do love us to the extent that they would be devastated if we abandoned them by taking ourselves out of their lives. My parents shouldn’t have had kids either. Ever single day feels like f’ing internal warfare. NOTHING I do helps or stops the pain. I do EVERY coping skill, journal, exercise, eat healthy, forced socialization, meditate. But every damn day I am in constant battle with myself.

I’ve had depression for many years and mostly do well. The problem is my partner. I am in a gay relationship and my husband, while most of the time is great, turns into a monster when he gets angry. He can’t seem to stop himself long enough to calm down. It turns into days of him making me feel bad, threatens to leave, blames it all on me. Once he’s through, he cry’s and tells me how much he loves me and doesn’t want to leave. I know this is not healthy for him or me. But, we do love each other. I can’t imagine not being with him, but at this point can’t imagine how we can continue to do this. We have been you for 28 years.

All these people whining about wanting to die when they’re MARRIED, when they HAVE FAMILIES WHO LOVE THEM, when they have CHILDREN: I see the same threading connection between myself and every comment here. The internal pain, the hurt, the sadness, the tears, the remorse- it just doesn’t fade away. It doesn’t get better. The farther along time marches by the tightness becomes too much, the loneliness like the dark of night unavoidable. Do you ever have thoughts like these, and you do not want to kill yourself? Many people do. They want their life to end, but they don’t want to end their life.

That’s where “passive” comes in. People with passive suicidal thoughts don’t want to do anything to make themselves die. They wish it would just happen. Your despair is so palpable in your words. It pains me to read how much pain you’re in, and I know whatever discomfort I feel is a microcosm of your own. I’m so sorry you’ve suffered so much. One of the things I’ll never understand is why some people experience so much suffering. It’s not fair. I know, that’s a child-like statement, but I feel like a child in my dismay. Thank you. I like that. People really have no idea especially if they say that it’s about being a drama queen and comments like that. That’s not even close and does more damage then help. And can be a big trigger for someone who is really struggling and enough to push them off that final edge. No one wakes up one day and decides they want to have these feelings and the pain. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Again it’s not about being drama queens and wanting attention however the drama would and could definitely begin after comments like that. Good way to start it up for sure. Tired of hearing stuff like this and it’s old. Please come up with something different and more helpful maybe? Or nothing at all please. Since I posted earlier today, I have been thinking of my younger brother who committed suicide. We weren’t close in brotherly attachment, but we were bound by the abuses we both went through. He manifested outward anger, whereas I turned everything inward.