Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

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Once safety is accomplished, connect with your child. Get to the root of why they lost control and help them understand. Don’t forget to tell the truth.

Good Inside with Dr. Becky on Apple Podcasts ‎Good Inside with Dr. Becky on Apple Podcasts

Book Summary: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen… The Daily Stoic is a book written by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman that provides a daily dose of wisdom and inspiration from the ancient philosophy of Stoicism. The book…As we’ve already mentioned, your relationships with others will only ever be as good as your relationship with yourself. If you’re like most parents, you’ve experienced your fair share of shame. It’s important to face that shame, name it, and bring it out into the open. You’re doing this for your own healing, but also so you can recognize shame reactions in your children and help them navigate those tough emotions. But maybe parenting shouldn’t revolve around traditional discipline methods and charts. And this Blink is here to prove it. Here’s a sample script to bring all of these elements together: “I was having big feelings that came out in a yelling voice. Those were my feelings and it’s my job to work on managing them better. It’s never your fault when I yell. I love you.” “Parenting doesn’t have to be defined by moments of struggle.”

Good Inside : A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

We talk a lot in the Christian faith about grace: God’s grace for us, grace for ourselves, grace for the people we love and the people we don’t. What I think this book does so well is illustrate what that grace looks like in the most practical sense of parenting–what does grace look like when my kid is having a tantrum? What does grace look like when my kid has lied to me or hits their sibling? “You’re a good kid having a hard time” To teach resilience, you need certain capabilities like empathy, listening, acceptance, and presence. You need to be able to help your child identify their strengths and learn to solve problems on their own. Here’s the hard part – to accomplish what you want for your child, you also have to treat yourself with the same love and respect. Atcerieties: bērniem nekas nešķiet tik šausmīgs kā sāpīgās jūtas, ar kurām viņi paliek vieni, attiecību salabošana šo vientulību aizstāj ar saikni, un tam vajadzētu kļūt par mūsu viskvēlāko vēlmi un mērķi. Frustration intolerance, crying, and perfectionism are also about controlling the environment. Your goal isn’t to help get your child out of these feelings, but rather to help your child continue to progress through them. It’s good for a child to be able to continue to work even in the midst of a certain amount of frustration. Sit with your child, share stories of your own experiences, and help them feel safe to be in their feelings. All of this leads to the final piece of the foundation you need for building better relationships with your children: know your job. Know that it’s your job to hold boundaries, but it’s not your job to change your child’s feelings.

Developing a close, considerate, caring relationship with your child based on mutual respect is probably the primary indicator of whether you will have a successful outcome. This book does have some great content. I don’t hate all of it. And there are plenty of other parenting methods (RIE, modern Montessori, Love and Logic) that have super-weird aspects to them, some of which are counterproductive. When you read a parenting book, you are reading someone’s deeply biased opinions, and you need to bring your brain and a shaker of salt. Happiness is less compelling than resilience. After all, cultivating happiness is dependent on regulating distress. That’s the big paradox: the more able we are to regulate hard feelings, the more space there is in our bodies to generate happiness. So how can we help our kids build regulation skills early on for the best chance of cultivating happiness later on? I read this book last month and felt like I had way too many thoughts to squeeze into a blurb for my Friday morning newsletter (sign up here if you’re not already!). I decided to put together a blog post reviewing the book. I’m also going to share some of the biggest things I learned from it. There’s no one right way to repair, though there are baseline to-dos: Say you’re sorry, share your reflections, and say what you plan to do differently in the future. It’s important to take ownership of your role instead of insinuating that your child “made you” react a certain way.

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent - Paminy Summary: Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent - Paminy

Agreeing to the “good inside” belief is the foundation for everything that’s coming next. Because once you treat your children, yourself, and everyone, really, with the understanding that they’re inherently good inside, you’ll start to make more generous interpretations of their behavior. By focusing and obsessing about behavior modification, we impute that behavior onto our children’s identity. In other words, our reactions to their transient behaviors get internalized into their identities which can be extremely harmful and toxic and can last well into their adulthood. The obsession with fixing their problems and focusing on happiness being the optimum state ill-prepares children to navigate their emotions. If we shame away emotions of distress, this translates into adulthood anxiety because we’ve created an adult who suddenly doesn’t have someone to enforce happiness and they can’t achieve it themselves so they are left with anxiety, dread and depression.Parenting, Family Conflict Resolution, Conflict Management, Popular Child Psychology, Self-Help, Relationships About the author

Good Inside Book Review | Dr. Becky Kennedy - Ruth Nuss Good Inside Book Review | Dr. Becky Kennedy - Ruth Nuss

In fact, the first thing you need to do when situations get tough is take a breath and choose the most generous interpretation or MGI of the situation. Holding on to the MGI helps you approach your child with compassion and a desire to understand, rather than jumping to anger and blame. Tantrums can actually be good because they teach children to advocate for themselves. They are just a tsunami of unregulated emotion. Containment is key during a tantrum, not engaging with logic. You contain and connect and then talk once talk once the tantrum has passed. Name the wish underneath the tantrum which helps with immediate connection. Remember these words during an unsafe tantrum “I won’t let you…” because it gives them the boundaries that they are seeking. Galu galā laimes veidošana ir atkarīga no spējām regulēt savas ciešanas. Mums ir jājūtas droši, lai mēs varētu justies laimīgi.Cenšoties otru pārliecināt, mums prātā ir tikai viens mērķis: pierādīt savu taisnību. Taču tam ir nepatīkamas sekas, jo otrs cilvēks jūtas nepamanīts un nesadzirdēts, un rezultātā lielākā daļa cilvēku noskaņojas kaujinieciski un dusmojas, jo rodas sajūta, ka otrs nepieņem viņa pasaules redzējumu vai apšauba viņa vērtību. Jušanās nepamanītam un nesadzirdētam padara saiknes izveidošanu neiespējamu. Despite the sunny cover and branding, it's still conceptually quite guilt/damage heavy. It's all about 'repairing' the damage. 'Rewiring' your kid. I don't find this metaphor that helpful, it's a bit guilt-inducing and permeates the book. Arguably, the most important connection-building technique is something we’ve already discussed: repair. Your goal should never be to avoid relationship ruptures – because that’s impossible. But if you learn the skill of repair, you’ll strengthen your relationships and give your children the skills they need to be resilient in the future.