Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

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FOR HER Shagging - like a celebrity Finding a man so much younger than you that you’d be too embarrassed to introduce him to your friends 70 calories Doing it in the garden so that the paparazzi can photograph you 100 calories Enrolling at a clinic to treat your sex addiction 40 calories
TOTAL: 210 calories
83 FOR HER Shagging - the wheelbarrow position Getting down on all fours and pointing your arse up at him 10 calories Letting him lift your legs so your weight is all on your hands 30 calories Collapsing forwards onto your arms as he tries to roger you from behind 10 calories
TOTAL: 50 calories
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FOR HIM Shagging - your teacher Reading her your crappy poems to seduce her 10 calories Indulging in sexual techniques you never dreamed were possible 250 calories Trying to chat up your replacement teacher after the first one gets fired for shagging you 10 calories
TOTAL: 270 calories
66 FOR HER Shagging - silently Lying still, not needing to fake enjoyment 5 calories Bracing your arms against the wall to muffle the bed’s vibrations 60 calories Worrying that your friends will think you’re having an epileptic fit and storm in to save you 10 calories
TOTAL: 75 calories
59 FOR HIM Shagging - in front of a romantic fire Chopping the romantic wood 200 calories Lighting the romantic firelighters 10 calories Shagging her on a nice rug whilst keeping an eye on the romantic flames in case they die down 200 calories
TOTAL: 410 calories
88 The pixie shag haircut is a great style for women who want a low-maintenance hairstyle. This style is characterized by short, choppy layers that are cut into various angles. The end result will be a textured pixie cut that is full of volume and movement. You can wear your hair curly, wavy, or straight. 14. Shag Haircut for Straight Hair

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FOR HER Shagging - at the movies Lifting up your skirt and sitting on him 5 calories Waiting for him to finish his popcorn 2 calories Trying to show no expression when people turn round to see what the noise is all about 40 calories
TOTAL: 47 calories
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FOR HIM Foreplay - oiling Covering your body with lavender oil 10 calories Covering your woman’s body with lavender oil 20 calories Putting a towel on the bed so your sheets don’t get covered in lavender oil 5 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
28 FOR HIM Shagging - a nervous virgin Spending three days giving her foreplay and still she won’t relax 500 calories Trying to persuade her that you’re the best person to lose her cherry to 20 calories Giving up and heading into the loo for a wank instead 50 calories
TOTAL: 570 calories
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FOR HIM Extra calorific benefits of shagging Looking for the condom afterwards 20 calories Being forced to change the bedsheets before your wife comes home 50 calories Walking to the clap clinic 40 calories
TOTAL: 110 calories
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FOR HER Self-shagging with a washing machine Loading the washing machine and switching it on 10 calories Sitting on it during the fastest spin cycle 30 calories Ironing the clothes afterwards 30 calories
TOTAL: 70 calories
11 Now, I normally wouldn’t, not at all, but considering how hard I’ll be working very soon, no harm in indulging in a few jammy dodgers. And a Victoria sponge. What the hell, I’ll just balance out with some savoury: dorritos with salasa. After all, I can afford to munch while I read, because, very soon I’m going to be shagging myself all the way slim. Phoar. FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Undoing her bra with one hand 5 calories Removing her arse from too-tight jeans with the help of some margarine and a team of firemen 20 calories Shaking hands with the firemen as they leave 5 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories
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This document was uploaded by our user. The uploader already confirmed that they had the permission to publish The link between sex and slimming is simple: a good hard rogering burns calories. If you roger hard enough then that’s enough exercise to lose weight. But do you know how much weight you’ll burn up? Which positions offer the greatest slimming opportunities? Where to find a fellow slimmer willing to work with you? No, nor did I. But that’s why I researched this book. Well, that and the offer of fifty quid and a FOR HIM Shagging - silently Trying to find a sexual position that won’t make the bed creak and wake up your housemates 40 calories Forcing yourself to pump slowly so that you don’t grunt too much 40 calories Muffling the sound of your orgasm by burying your face into her tits 20 calories
TOTAL: 100 calories
58 Shagging - faking orgasm Shagging - real orgasm Shagging - telephone sex Extra calorific benefits of shagging Negative calorific aspects of shagging Shagging diary FOR HER Shagging - orgies Living out your every fantasy in the anonymity of a mass of heaving bodies 250 calories Realising with horror that you forgot to take your pill today 10 calories Narrowing the father of the baby down to just 15 possible men 40 calories
TOTAL: 300 calories
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