How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

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Motherhood is really like being in an action movie that goes on for your whole life—but with all the boring, everyday bits left in,” she says. “Mothers have to do a poo in four parts because a child will cry, and then they try and finish off but the child needs them again! A new mother will work far harder, more creatively, and more effectively than people who don’t have children—because she has to.”

After that, the book is divided into sections about the major areas of conflict in marriage. First, there is housework (surprise! to no wife ever). Then a whole chapter on how to fight so that it’s both effective and doesn’t destroy your relationship or scar your children. Life is unpredictably short, and you and the person you have chosen to be with for the rest of your life are arguing about housework. It's not worth it."If you’ve just emerged from a time capsule in the 60s, welcome to the future! In this world, the… Read more

We’re only a generation or two away from the homemaker/breadwinner model,” she says. Every couple has to reinvent what’s right for them—a strict feminist model calls for a precise 50-50 split, but Dunn argues for what “feels equitable” to each couple.Janina Büehler, a practising psychologist and assistant professor at Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz, believes this stigma makes relationship challenges even harder to surmount. "The idea that relationships should just be very satisfied all the time, and we should have sex all the time, and just be happy all the time – that's just not true," she says. When I was six months pregnant with my daughter, I had lunch with a group of friends, all of whom were eager to pass along their hard-won scraps of parental wisdom. ... " ... get ready to hate your husband," said my friend Lauren. ... Wrong, I told her calmly. I listed various reasons why our relationship was solid... But my friend Lauren was right." locs 115-140 ebook. We joke about how babies change lives but it's not really funny, is it. It is a legit problem that marital happiness decreases because of less sleep, less money, less time, less sex... no need to go on. The clincher for this book was that it’s just delightfully written. It’s funny and clever, full of amusing and interesting stories, and the research is shared in a way that makes it meaningful and fascinating. I would be very calm when it came to my son," he says, but when their child was in bed, his anxiety surfaced, sometimes causing him to be "impatient" with his wife. She'd think he was being short and get defensive; he'd argue that he wasn't, and "the whole evening would devolve", he says. They'd never fought so much in their six-year relationship. Half an hour, the Gottmans found, is also about how long it takes for the chemicals released during “fight or flight” to exit the body.”