The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now

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With the basic message out of the way, I do think the audience is limited to people who have access to resources and opportunities, mainly the middle class and upper class. I think the same basic message is viable for all classes, but people of lower classes who don't have access to internships or college may have a harder time connecting with Jay's clients. Sometimes you’ve got to be in your flop era,” Ms. Flowers replied. “Because a slay era doesn’t mean anything if there is no flop era.” At twenty men think that life will be over at thirty. I, at the age of fifty-eight, can no longer take that view. The Brain and Body is sort of a misc. collection of pieces centered on how your brain, body, and mind works. That said, I do think there is something to be learned from the social comparisons we notice ourselves making. Are you envying something you would like to have for yourself, and does this say something about where you should start? Can you think less about what others are doing and think more about your vision for yourself? Identify two things you would like to have accomplished in one year or in two years, and compare your progress to your own goals.

The Brain and Body section also covered a lot of neuroscience research I wasn't aware of. For example, your brain undergoes a radical period of reconfiguration in your 20s which means now is the best opportunity for learning skills. Or, the frontal cortex that controls a lot of our mature responses such as regulating emotions is still developing for most people in their 20s. Besides the physical brain, Dr. Jay also talks about the mind such as learning how to calm yourself down, how to develop confidence (rather than believing it's fixed), and that you can radically alter how you feel by changing parts of your life. While purporting to be a universal guide for twentysomethings, the premises of each example are built on traditionally white, straight, cis, upperclass conceptions of success and the uncritical recommendations serve to uphold these structures. I'm reaching my mid-twenties, just starting a career, and this book is just what I needed to hear. Meg Jay provides great insights about what twentysomething life is like, she understands the struggles that we are going through and offers great practical advice. Tough days [at work] were just winds blowing by and that work was not as personal as [the case study] imagined it to be." (154)The one thing I have learned is that you can’t think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is to do—something.” Vida amorosa: a autora traz a importância de sermos também intencionais. Alerta que a pessoa que escolhemos nos envolver será parte da nossa família (ou a pessoa com quem será construída uma família). Além disso, também alerta sobre quando e como devemos fazer esta escolha. Of course it is normal to be afraid of normalcy! (Wait a minute. See, everyone wants to be at least a little bit normal....)

Couples who live together before marriage tend to be less satisfied with marriage, and more likely to divorce. Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. … Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.” How do I reconcile the fact that I feel listless with the fact that I am meant to be living it up in my twenties? Inaction breeds fear and doubt. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. —Dale Carnegie, writer and lecturer” I also found the lengthy discussion of basic brain anatomy to be rather useless. Anyone who has ever heard of Phineas Gage or taken Psychology 101 would not get anything new out of those sections, and they felt like cop-out filler: "Your BWAINZ aren't even developed! Poor widdle kidults!" If her target audience is as putatively mature as she argues, then just give a paragraph or two and point the astute reader to more resources.

In her psychology practice and her book, The Defining Decade, clinical psychologist Meg Jay suggests that many twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation about what Time magazine calls the " Me Me Me Generation." The rhetoric that "30 is the new 20," she suggests, trivializes what is actually the most transformative period of adult life. of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay Meg Jay takes the specific complaints of twentysomething life and puts them to diagnostic use" ― New Yorker Meg Jay masterfully blends cutting-edge research and life stories of psychotherapy clients to make a compelling case that this age period is crucial for launching love and work. You will learn a lot from this book and it will spur you to seize control of your future now."― Avril Thorne, University of California, Santa Cruz Forward thinking doesn't just come with age. It comes with practice and experience. That's why some twenty-two-year-olds are incredibly self-possessed, future-oriented people who already know how to face the unknown, while some thirty-four-year-olds still have brains that run the other way.”

Expecting to experience the joy of freedom and self-discovery, many young men and women find instead confusion, loneliness, and anomie. Jay is just the sort of guide that these twentysomethings and their parents need: sensitive, thoughtful, and wise."― Kay Hymowitz, author of Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys The professional and personal angst of directionless twentysomethings is given a voice and some sober counsel in this engaging guide. While Jay maintains that facing difficulties in one’s 20s ‘is a jarring–but efficient and often necessary–way to grow,’ the author is sincere and sympathetic, making this well-researched mix of generational sociology, psychotherapy, career counseling, and relationship advice a practical treatise for a much-maligned demographic.” Contemporary culture tells us the twentysomething years don't matter. Clinical psychologist Dr Meg Jay argues that this could not be further from the truth. In fact, your twenties are the most defining decade of adulthood. Jay’s advice: Set some goals that matter to you and work towards them. Whether their professional, personal, or social. Do the MathI strongly recommend The Defining Decade for anyone in their 20s trying to figure out their life's direction. You'll learn how to search productively, how to avoid being indulgent, and how to turn good opportunities into great ones" (Po Bronson author of What Should I Do With My Life? ) --Slate It’s the people we hardly know, and not our closest friends, who will improve our lives most dramatically”

On the one hand, Meg Jay has some pretty good career tips and makes some good points regarding time. While Dr. Jay only pays lip service to the recession and the changing nature of work - which I saw as a significant problem in the book - there are some good, concrete suggestions, though they are tempered by assumptions about "20somethings" wanting to "hide" with bad jobs because they are callow youths who are just too darn afraid of themselves. I think she also over-relies on the importance of networking. I'd still shove this into the hands / face / Kindle of people I know who are not being proactive about work, but they represent a minority among my friends who are out of work. This book didn't apply to me because I'm in my mid/late 20s and/or have my life together already and/or I already knew all the advice given." THE DEFINING DECADE is a rare gem: a fresh, original contribution to the study of adult development that's also a pleasurable, almost effortless read."― Daphne de Marneffe, PhD, author of Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life THE DEFINING DECADE is a rare gem: a fresh, original contribution to the study of adult development that's also a pleasurable, almost effortless read.-- Daphne de Marneffe, PhD, author of Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life

Technically I think my review is "spoilery", so I'd advise not reading it if you want to read the book without influence from my opinion. I do not consider myself an authority in anything, and this review is simply my incoherent rants about things that made me upset, for my own reference. It's also pretty long. You call on 20-somethings to take charge of their lives and reclaim their adulthood. But what if I didn't do that? How should 30-somethings reclaim adulthood?