The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

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But you’re right. There’s huge potential for autistic RATIONAL demand avoidance to be seen as a pathology people try to train out of them instead of understanding their sensory, social, and personal needs. It’s a complicated issue all around. There is debate about the existence of pathological demand avoidance (PDA) and whether or not it is an autistic profile. We’ve promised to update the community as we continue to look into the issue from all sides. Having a range of things that you can be in control of will help to keep your anxiety down, and you can go to these things and tinker when you feel a little anxious. Just like the overriding autism diagnosis, Pathological Demand Avoidance is a lifelong condition. It won't simply go away or be grown out of, but can be helped by others around using the correct strategies. It has been a huge comfort to us to hear from adults with PDA and to know that the future can be rosy.

I don't know what it will look like going forward as I have to find a way to keep providing a safe space for him while being able to work as well, but it has given me hope. Please stop suggesting meditation to us. I don’t know why anyone still thinks that’s a viable option for somone with ADHD. We cannot meditate and it won’t help PDA to make us feel inadequate all over again.I have sat down to write this article over a dozen times, have had the words clearly in my head; but when I have found a quiet moment with my laptop, a wall drops down between what I want to do and actually being able to do it. I am an autistic with a PDA profile and sometimes the demand of doing even something that I really want to do is impossible. I have a very dear friend who has ‘Jo cards’ that she uses when I am either going too far or if one of my impulsive ideas is totally nuts and something that I will later regret. Yes, these cards can be seen as a demand, but I have total control over whether I listen to her or not. Autism is a spectrum condition and affects people in different ways. Like all people, autistic people have their own strengths and weaknesses. Social interaction and communication can be difficult for some autistic people but others may enjoy it. Intense interests and repetitive behaviour are often seen along with differing sensory experiences'. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a condition that is characterized by a avoidance of everyday demands and activities. Try and schedule them to come out around the times when you have the most money in your account, such as right after paydays or benefits deposit.

He is so honest and I feel I have failed him these last two years, but we are going to find a way forward.

The more demands are perceived or placed on you, the more you will be pushed towards meltdown – and no one wants that. Pushing yourself to meet demands in high stress times can cause burnout, and then you’ll get nothing done.

This is exactly how we have to do things too. Sadly people who don't live with it all the time tend to not see the reactions so well unless it's explained to them x I don’t know about you, but I have very poor impulse control which has led to me painfully regretting some of my impulsive decisions. If you have someone you trust who is sensible and has your best interests at heart, just run your more extreme impulses by them before jumping in head first. It is a liberating experience reading someone else’s words and finding them to resonate in your bones like they could be talking specifically about you. The many essays I write on a subject spending hours in the making and crafting, only to to toss them in the trash. Bless your heart for writing on this, it made me laugh. And if all fails — may I make a suggestion, it could be your 16th point. I wont be PDA about how right I* am on this point…but 16 should be “If all fails, start laughing uncontrollably and with a robust for the joy of it.”

Around every corner is a demand waiting to thrust itself upon us. So how do we cope with all of these demands that can’t help themselves hammering down on us like we’re a nail that just won’t lay flat? As a clinician who has worked with complex young people and adults with Autism throughout my working life, I was delighted to be asked to review this book. I read it in one sitting. It is the most articulate, honest, entertaining (and sometimes funny) book about PDA I have read. I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to gain an insight into how this profile impacts upon individuals, their families and those who work with or are involved in their education. -- Dr Judy Eaton, Consultant Clinical Psychologist I’ve been searching for something that would help me with the things that I’ve been wanting to accomplish, but my PDA has made them seemingly impossible and I found it here in your candid words. Just stopping everything and going with the flow of what your brain decides it wants to do can be powerful to reduce anxiety. It puts you right in the driving seat, which gives us PDAers all that lovely control that we thrive on.