Smash the Patriarchy: A totally appropriate self-affirming coloring book: 1 (Totally Appropriate Series)

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We've got to include this classic! While the riot grrrlmovementwas by no means without its problems (intersectionality was not exactly its focus), Bikini Kill remains a watershed band in terms of female empowerment. We also learn about Hatshepsut, a pharaoh who also happened to be a woman, but dressed as a man, all the way down to wearing a fake beard. In 1816, the French state also re-outlawed divorce, further trapping women in indissoluble marriages no matter how abusive or reprehensible the husband. Tristan only escaped her own nuptial chains after her husband repeatedly molested their daughter and then subsequently shot Tristan at point-blank range in broad daylight on the streets of Paris. I was dismayed to discover that what hadn’t been acceptable in the late 1980s and early 1990s was still going on, now in the 2000s! I took on a one-woman mission of awareness raising and agitation around all the sexist and unfair rules still in play, and my first target was the ‘only boys get to change into trainers at playtime’ rule!

Every year, between November 25 — the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women — and December 10 — International Human Rights Day — there are 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-based Violence. Smash the patriarchy”. It’s a phrase we know all too well. The ambition to collapse the societal constructs that dictates the power and oppression of the people living in it. Since it is a social construct, it can be recognised, and it can be changed, we all just have to play our part. A few ways in how we have challenged the patriarchy lately Consider: men, who tend to be bearers of violence, have their anger legitimised and it turns destructive. The same can happen to others too. Second, by exercising that right to critical thinking, and using it to point out, call out, bring down, protest, and change the way in which power plays out in our immediate spaces, and beyond.Others deny societal sexism even exists, insisting that the gender roles we see are based on cognitive differences – spoiler: men are more intelligent. “The people who hold that our culture is an oppressive patriarchy, they don’t want to admit that the current hierarchy might be predicated on competence,” Jordan Peterson has said, for instance. His reasoning suggests that women would be happier not railing against it but instead observing their traditional gender roles. Such theories have been demolished by a range of scholars, including neuroscientist Gina Rippon and psychologist Cordelia Fine. So what that really means to me is that the external culture has created like all of these norms that we're supposed to live by, that don't be too loud or too smart, or too sexy or not sexy enough, and like, there's this perfect little box that you're supposed to fit in. And then we absorb all of that just from growing up with it in the culture, from media from magazine covers, commercials, people that we see portrayed in TV and film. And so we think we're just accidentally by default, this is what brains do is they absorb the culture that we're in. And so we have suddenly have all of these thoughts about who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to look and how we're supposed to operate. And what I find that that happens for most of my clients is that we tend to keep ourselves small to not bust out of this box because there's punishment involved, you will be criticized, you will be slandered, you will be raked over the coals, you will be judged. And that is like the number one fear of most humans is that we don't want to, we don't want that light to be shining on us and to feel the humiliation and shame of when you step out of the box. And so my work really is we have to mess up all of that and start Really standing in your power on your own confidence in your own belief in yourself no matter what the world has to say.

Call and write your political representatives to let them know what you want and how you want them to represent your needs

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The future is not female. The future is not queer. The future is anyone who is ready to smash the patriarchy and be ready for a revolution. Indeed, ' Cat Callers' is about something serious – being yelled at on the street by creeps – but the band manages to poke fun at the topic while also not belittling the experience of the women being catcalled. According to a variety of high-profile figures (mainly male, mainly psychologists), bolstered by professorships and no shortage of disciples, there are important biological reasons for why men and women have different roles and status in our society. Steven Pinker, for instance, has argued that men prefer to work with “things”, whereas women prefer to work with “people”. This, he said, explains why more women work in the (low-paid) charity and healthcare sector, rather than getting PhDs in science. According to Pinker, “The occupation that fits best with the ‘people’ end of the continuum is director of a community services organisation. The occupations that fit best with the ‘things’ end are physicist, chemist, mathematician, computer programmer, and biologist.” Whether someone has skills for maths, leadership or any gendered attribute can not be predicted from knowing their sex Then during the sentence structuring phase, blatant gender binaries are even more glaring. Children have been learning for decades that my father goes to office and my mother cooks food at home, and prepares tasty dishes for us during festivals. Both men and women can have as many companions as they desire, without stigma, and women often do not know who has fathered their children. The concept of “father” barely exists, and men have few paternal responsibilities. Being a good uncle is far more important, as men help raise the children of their sisters. Since there is no formal marriage, the only reason men and women form pairs is because they are attracted to each other or enjoy each other’s company. When the attraction fades, romantic ties can be dissolved without negative financial consequences or social impacts on the children. How very radical the Mosuo family structure seems to many of us today highlights just how deeply ingrained our own patrilocal and patrilineal traditions remain.

So question the predetermined rules of engagement, and weed out all those problematic, and sometimes violent thoughts, opinions, and behaviours out of your mindset and you’re en route to destroy the patriarchy within you. 2. Educate Yourself And Be Open To Growth Gabor Maté in his book, ‘When the Body Says No’, talks about character traits and ways of being around emotional suppression, in both males and females, that are noticeable in those who go on to develop certain cancers and chronic autoimmune and pain conditions. And girls were still not allowed to play football with the boys, on the field or on the playground.In a world without patriarchy, we would have open, honest communication about our feelings, we would share work and raising families equally and base our society on respect, love and hope. So, when feminist call to deconstruct the patriarchy, they are referring to a cultural reposition, which changes the cultural concept of the society. No means no. Yes, means yes. Women are not passive, women are not objects and we decide if, when and with whom we do what. In contrast to men who prioritize their own professional ambitions, the study noted that the number one reason women academics gave for refusing an external offer of employment was that their male partners were not offered appropriate employment at the new location. The availability of a job for their partners outweighed other key considerations such as salary, benefits, research funds, or opportunities for promotion. And since getting a decent raise in academia usually requires moving to a new university, women’s relative immobility exacerbates the gender pay gap. Nowadays, following the second wave feminism of the 20 th century, it is a word used to refer to the social power held by men, and the subsequent oppression of women through that power. In this sense, patriarchy refers to a social, not biological, dominance.

Patrilineality denotes a set of social customs that confer primacy on the father’s family line. The best example of patrilineality comes from Genesis 5 and 11 in the Old Testament, the “begats” from Adam to Noah and from Shem to Abram, where we learn the names of each father and his firstborn son. Patrilineality is why fathers still “give the bride away” to the bridegroom during the traditional Western wedding ceremony, and it’s why about 70 percent of American women in 2015 and 90 percent of British women in 2016 still took their husband’s name after tying the knot. Well, so, I mean, I throw this out there, you know, I don't have an issue when people do use that in the attach that label to it. So I want to make sure that you know, my choices to not use it aren't, you know, in any way shaming anybody that actually does, I have worked in male dominated fields for like half of my career in blue collar industries, and then also worked in pink collar careers. And I know that sometimes there can be a stigma because, uh, you know, the word, you know, adding the shear the her the whatever to it, like, it can make it feel like that it's somehow it's a unicorn, you know, and I think all of us here have enough experience in business in our in our, you know, what we're trying to do in business is to make sure that women who succeed are not just unicorns, but are in the same, you know, same dynamic, same playing field is everybody else there. And so, that's why I just don't attach it. Although I do focus on women. I focus on women being successful in the larger fields of business and entrepreneurship, rather than just in the nice field of being the sheep runner, the whatever word you want to attach on to it. So that's my two cents on it.I am Melanie Childers. And I am also a feminist entrepreneur coach, helping women that be bad bitches in their business and take up all the space and make smart, scalable, powerful business decisions that help them create this sustainable growth that they want for the life of their business without hustling or burning out.