The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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Cues are the physical or verbal signals that tell others whether we can be trusted. Learning cues consists of two parts. The first is being aware of your own cues; the second is being aware of cues from others. This awareness in your professional conversations can help you get more wins whether you’re seeking a promotion, pitching an idea, or just networking.

If you have followed Charlie and his Youtube channel, you will be familiar with some of the book’s points. Regardless, it is never a bad idea to structure and revise what you have learned. Self-compassion - self-acceptance. Positively correlated with emotional resilience, sense of personal responsibility, accountability, sense of connectedness, life satisfaction, positive relationships with others, self-confidence, willingness to admit errors, low self-pity, low depression, low anxiety, improved immune system functioning In this book, we learn more than forty different cues. Vanessa groups the cues into four different channels: Nonverbal, Vocal, Verbal, and Imagery. She then presents the cues of each channel in four groups, Charisma, Warmth, Competence and Danger Zone. She also tells us when to use each cue and when not to use them.There are several important vocal cues to be aware of, including pitch and vocal fry. But the one we’re going to talk about in this section is question tone. You will come across many real-life examples in this book that support the points the author explains. It will bring your attention to many little things that you may not notice about people’s behavior. Olivia Fox Cabane offers hands-on advice and a practical guide to humanizing leaders without comprising integrity or authority. She focused on the ‘it’ factors that can make a real difference.” To truly understand the difference when your eyes are relaxed and open, go see the transformation for yourself. In 2013, Jamie Siminoff went onto the show Shark Tank to see if he could win over investors for his product. His company had, in fact, already done over a million dollars in sales. It was well on its way forward and just needed investment to turn it into a multi-million dollar business. Chances are, you’ve at least heard of his company— Ring, best known for doorbell cameras.

Nonverbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, play a vital role in charismatic communication.Who should (or when to) read this: If you interact with other human lifeforms (even in the digital world) this book is relatable. Charismatic communication comes down to two things: warmth and competence. The most successful people have the right blend of both, which leads them to be likable and respected, the two of which add up to trust. If you find yourself in this position, you’re probably doing well and have a good grasp of how to achieve your goals confidently.

One of the more interesting points Cabane makes is that the people around you tend to try to match nonverbal cues with verbal cues, with nonverbal cues taking precedent over verbal ones if they don't match. If your nonverbal cues, which are rapidly and subconsciously absorbed, are followed with consistent verbal cues, the latter amplifies the former. Thus using visualisations can help us to believe our own words, which will help with making our nonverbal actions more closely align with anything we then proceed to say. Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there? Words like “loved” and “excited” are warmer and more emotion-based. Words like “brief” and “implement” are a little colder.Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead answer crisply and professionally. Only when you know who it is do you let warmth or enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. Reader, pass by! How is this book different from so many other self-help books which promote good deportment? Answer: Not very. For an author who brags throughout the book about her lofty credentials and celebrated clientele, this is pretty thin stuff — and rather stingy with its insights, too. In her book Captivate , Vanessa Van Edwards promises a completely new approach to building connections.