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Not only is this very well-written but it is also an easy read. This book approaches the topic of narcissism with a level of understanding which will make the daughters reading this book feel seen. It uses cases studies and offers technique that you can try when dealing with narcissism in the family setting. If you have a narcissistic mother, you need a way to deal with the aftermath of emotional — and maybe physical — abuse . You simply must process the negative aftereffects of having survived a childhood with a narcissist. The abuse has affected you, and you do need to work through it so that you can get free of the patterns it has created in your life. To do that, you’re going to need something that can help you find your way into the light. This is the part where I felt this book is a let-down, because it's all good and empowering to put a name to the behaviour and even the abuse, but what next? How do we get to what's next? Her work has focused on feelings of vulnerability and shame and how those feelings keep us from living up to our full potential. In this book, she guides the reader through the process of realizing that their vulnerabilities are not weakness at all, but rather, powerful reminders that we need to stay open and recognize the humanity in all of us. She discusses how these gifts help us develop empathy and experience love, laughter, and gratitude. 11. Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown
This may be a great resource for women with low-level narc moms, but in cases where the narcissism is a lot more severe and the effects of it devastating, this book is a slap in the face. Susan Forward has more than 35 years worth of experience as a therapist and has helped thousands of people recover from toxic parenting. This book examines specifically the impact a toxic mother has on her daughters. Everyone handles trauma — and healing from it — differently. If you need support while processing these childhood wounds at any point in your journey, consider asking for help. Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have learnt to keep their mouths shut. They know they will be judged harshly, so instead, they suffer in silence. After all, society tells us from a young age that daughters and mothers should be best friends, shopping and having great times together. When your reality doesn’t match up to that, it can be very hard to accept. Harder still to believe that it is not your fault.
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If you do not feel like you had the experience of the typical idea of what a mom should be like, you might enjoy this book. Of course, this means that it is also one of those good books for daughters of narcissistic mothers. It is straightforward and comforting at the same time. Connecting with supportive people is another fantastic way to heal. “It’s not the family you’re born into, but the family you choose,” explains Lis. “Find good mentors or other women [from whom] you can get the validation your mother can’t provide for you.” Our childhood impacts our overall health, especially if we had adverse experiences that went unhealed. For many years I thought I understood the relationship between me and my mother. In the beginning our relationship when I was a child, I could have received a perfect report card or all blue ribbons on field day at school, and the common response from my mother was “Oh, that’s nice honey…” I never felt like I was ever doing anything good enough. I tried harder and harder, but the responses were the same. Later in my teens I went the rebellious route. I strived for horrible grades, I stayed out late, and lied to her. These usually ended up with no responses except she would call her friends and talk about how terrible I was. Then her alcoholism came into play. I was repeatedly reminded of my “bad” behavior from when I was young and told that I wouldn't make anything of myself. That I should just find a wealthy man and marry him because I could never have a future or career. When I was older and got engaged, I showed her my 3 carat diamond ring and her response was, “Well, I hope you're worth it.” I still strived and would tell her of my accomplishments no matter how large or small they were. Usually she replied with telling me about something great she did, or about where the next cruise was going to take her or how much money she had. Honestly through all of this, I thought this was normal. I never saw what the relationship was really about. I knew I hurt inside and I felt empty and unsuccessful but I didn't understand it."
If your mother blamed you for problems as a child, you might naturally feel like everything is your fault as an adult, too. (Friendly reminder: It’s not.) This book is an excellent guide to how to shed your learned narcissistic tendencies. It encourages you to assess your relationships and gain new insights as to how to identify a narcissist. While maintaining a healthy relationship with a narcissistic mother is not easy, it is possible. Here are a few suggestions that may help to guide the relationship towards shared peace:This book was hard to read, as it will be for anyone who is the adult daughter of a narcissist. We are trained from a young age to know, inherently, that every single thing that goes wrong is our fault. It takes courage to open this book, to take that step towards questioning the truth of your relationship with your mother. In a nutshell, "Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" is like ripping off the world's most painful Band-Aid; it stings like hell, but at least now I can heal—and make sure I don't continue the cycle. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can be a great thing for a daughter whose parents were invalidating them,” adds Lis. She says that DBT can help to teach:
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