Your Guide to Better Sex

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Without pressing workloads or young children to worry about, many older adults have far more time to devote to pleasure and intimacy. Use your time to become more intimate. Condoms have improved in recent years, so Susan suggests trying out a few different types. And if you’re worried you may have already caught something, see your GP – or your local sexual health clinic (visit nhs.uk) for free anonymous testing. Problem: It takes longer to climax

Look ahead. As you age, try to let go of expectations for your sex life. Do your best to avoid dwelling on how things are different. If you enjoyed an active sex life in your younger years, there's no reason to slow down with age, unless you want to. A positive attitude and open mind can go a long way toward improving your sex life as you age. Davis, D., Shaver, P. R., Widaman, K. F., Vernon, M. L., Follette, W. C., & Beitz, K. (2006). “I can't get no satisfaction”: Insecure attachment, inhibited sexual communication, and sexual dissatisfaction. Personal Relationships,13(4), 465-483Some of the other fictions that porn perpetuates are the idea that women are always primed and ready (“in the real world,” Davidson says, “people do say ‘no’”); that the same moves work on every partner; that satisfying sex always culminates in orgasm.

Our main sex organ is our brain,” Price says. “You can role play in your fantasy without anyone knowing. It’s not a betrayal of what you’re doing with your partner; it’s an enhancement to what you’re doing with your partner.” Tip 6: Consider Age-Appropriate Erotica I wanted a book that didn’t put expectations on her, but instead valued her and allowed her to explore her sexuality the way she felt comfortable.This means that everyone should agree on what they are comfortable with at the beginning of the activity. If someone changes their mind or decides that they want to stop, it is very important that that person is able to say this and that it is respected. This ensures that it is a pleasurable experience for all involved. What are the different types of sex? DiFrancesco, S. and R.L. Teneglia. “Mediterranean Diet and Erectile Dysfunction: A Current Perspective,” Central European Journal of Urology (2017) 70:185. People in good health with a decent level of fitness are nearly twice as likely to be interested in sex as they grow older, and also more likely to report having a satisfying sex life, according to a study by the University of Chicago. The research found men in ‘very good’ health could expect to add seven years to their ‘sex life expectancy’, while women in the same position could add up to six.

In short, I wanted to honor her, rather than to pressure her. 2. I wanted to help women see sex as more than just physical

No matter how well you may think you know each other, your partner isn't a mind reader. If there is something you want to change about your sex life, then it's important to talk about it. If your partner is really committed to you, then they will be willing to listen and respect your needs. [11] X Research source American college of obstetricians and gynecologists. Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). FAQ077. Mar 2018. Available from: https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Pelvic-Inflammatory-Disease-PID And Cosmopolitan, in partnership with Men’s Health, has partnered with UK schools to improve sex ed offerings. While we’re on driving, let’s talk about commutes. And cubicles. And computers. And the demands and distractions of our daily lives.

Dr Laurie Betito, clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author of The Sex Bible For People Over 50 4. Be mindful Age-related hormonal drops for both sexes can make bodies less responsive and result in weaker pelvic floor muscles, meaning it takes longer to achieve orgasm. As an older adult, the two things that may have brought the greatest joy—children and career—may no longer be as prevalent in your everyday life. Personal relationships often take on a greater significance, and sex can be an important way of connecting. Sex has the power to: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services/Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; World Health Organization (WHO) Department of Reproductive Health and Research, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health/Center for Communication Programs (CCP). Knowledge for health project. Family planning: a global handbook for providers (2018 update) [online]. Baltimore, MD; Geneva, Switzerland: CCP and WHO; 2011; and Trussell J. Contraceptive failure in the United States. Contraception 2011;83:397–404. Available from https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/fp-global-handbook/en/ As an older adult, you need to be just as careful as younger people when having sex with a new partner. You may not be able to get pregnant, but you're still susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases. Talk to your partner, and protect yourself. Communicate with your partnerMuise, A. et al. “Post-Sex Affectionate Exchanges Promote Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2014) 43:1391. But I was still immersed in this very gendered way of seeing sex. Over the years, as I’ve listened more and done even more research, I knew that things had to change with The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. Like Sheila says, “when you know better, do better.” These books follow that philosophy, and it’s so relieving to read a book where women are equal partners in a relationship. I’m so done with being the “less than” partner. Those thoughts are ruts in my brain, so it will take time for this new, good message to erase the bad ones. I’ll be referring to these books often to keep “updating” my thinking and writing over those negative messages. Alix Fox, sex educator and Durex sex and relationship expert. 9. See your partner through other people's eyes Public Health England figures last year show almost twice as many people over 45 were diagnosed with STDs than 10 years ago. Chlamydia cases in people aged 45-64 were up 64% from 2011 to 2015, despite falling among 15-24s. Gonorrhoea , syphilis, herpes and warts are also rising in older groups.