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Perfection Kills

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When we relate to ourselves with loving kindness, perfectionism naturally drops away.” — Sharon Salzberg Learning to give up on perfection may be just about the most romantic move any of us could make.” — Alain de Botton If Fleming were hellbent on being perfect, we would never have this invention. He would return to his lab, see what was happening, freak out, throw it away because it was not perfect, and we’d all be popping zits while coughing up a lung.

People are complex, and there isn’t one single cause of perfectionism. Your present self is a complicated and synergistic combination of your biology and experiences.” – Sharon Martin If you keep rejecting your own thought process in the race for perfection, this rejection will only hinder your own self-worth. And once you get into the rut of feeling worthless, all your ideas, thoughts, and productive mechanisms are thrown down the drain. Perfectionism can be confusing; it affects different people in different ways. But what we all have in common is that perfectionism can get in the way of living our lives to the fullest. It is the quest to be perfect or without flaws. It means we set impossibly high standards for ourselves and sometimes for others, and we believe that we should achieve our goals effortlessly and never make mistakes, have flaws, or be disagreeable. We consider anything less than perfect unacceptable and feel distressed when people (ourselves and others) don’t live up to our expectations. But because our standards are unrealistic and unattainable, even with hard work, perfectionism is a losing proposition. It ultimately makes us feel worse rather than better.” – Sharon MartinOne of the best ways to combat this need for perfection is to forgive yourself. Know that you are not your mistakes, that you are human, mistakes are human, and they are valuable when you stop using them to beat yourself into submission. PDF) The psychology of perfectionism: Critical issues, open questions, and future directions (researchgate.net) Like the bronze statue of the Angel of the Waters, those who pursue perfection find themselves paralyzed by the possibility of flaw, fault, or failure.” — Jamie Le Fay Numbers 1–5 are so important, they require a book. I’m working on that, but for now…lets focus on number 6. Perfection kills progress…

I have to say that I’ve always believed perfectionism is more of a disease than a quality. I do try to go with the flow, but I can’t let go.” — Rowan Atkinson At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” — Michael Law One of the best explanations I’ve heard of this recently comes from professional poker player Annie Duke. In her book, she describes this problem of “resulting” where decisions are evaluated based on the ultimate outcome. Some careers are more suitable for perfectionists than others. Blythe Camenson, author of Careers for Perfectionists and Other Meticulous Types, recommends the following professions as possibilities: accountant, auditor, lawyer, surveyor, mapmaker, engineer, art conservator, art restorer, researcher, writer, editor.” – Ellen BowersA tendency toward perfectionism makes it nearly impossible to even think about trying something new, let alone actually doing it.” – Ellen Bowers Another interesting, but likely insignificant difference is enumerability of shimmed methods. Unless methods are added using ES5 additions that allow to specify property enumerability ( Object.defineProperty or Object.defineProperties), methods end up being enumerable: Positive and negative perfectionism and their relationship with anxiety and depression in Iranian school students – PMC (nih.gov)

On the loos side, a little more attention can be helpful too. Provided you face it, learn from it, and then move on. This isn’t about wallowing. It’s about learning.When we are at our most creative or engaged in a creative endeavor, we welcome mistakes, throw out rules, and do not strive to get things perfect. Creativity demands free thinking, open acceptance of whatever inspires, and knowing the process is just as important, if not more so, than the product. Perfectionism causes unhappiness—ill feelings within the self and in relation to others. It creates a life seemingly fraught with danger at every turn because the high standards believed to be important can never be met. This creates a tired, discouraged person, always on the brink of satisfaction and achievement but never quite making it. Perfectionistic parents raise nervous children, those kids who hover around the edges of something fun, afraid that they will do something wrong and get yelled at.” – Ellen Bowers You may spend an awful lot of time brainstorming a new idea. But your urge for perfection results in most of these ideas being binned, simply because they are seemingly not perfect enough! Feeling worthless leads to missing work deadlines. This turns into an endless cycle of despising yourself and your own work.

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