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The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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His backroom team oversaw training which created injury after injury and didn’t seem to instil anything other than “couldn’t care less” into the multi-millionaires they are charged with “training”. None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "you are driving me mad Wally".

So the waiter goes to the kitchen and after asking for a chicken from Suffolk the chef looks at him with a strange face. Newcastle is the home of one of the greatest teams in English football and the birthplace of a famous high street bakery. If there is anything to complain about regarding songs at Anfield yesterday, it would be the complaint that I usually have at Anfield… the fact that there aren’t any songs! A: Well, they had photos of Newcastle United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. When it came to his turn, the assistant started ringing the contents of his overloaded trolley into the till.Newcastle upon Tyne (not to get confused with Newcastle - under - Lyme near Stoke) is a great place, surrounded by glorious countryside and full of the friendliest people in the country. Geordie phoned his GP requesting a house visit as his piles were so painful that he was unable to walk. When his mate met him at the airport in Africa after his holiday, he was wheeled off the plane with no legs !

Alan Simpson: “We all knew to a man that things were going badly for us ,when chairman Westwood put his patch over his good eye. By purchasing the item from Charlies Chapters Ltd you agree that you are happy to receive a revised edition.He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Newcastle United supporter.

But I’m not a mackem” said the saviour - “Oh,” says the journalist “Smoggie saves mate from dog” - “But I’m not a Smoggie” says the lad.

His mate, desperate to free him from the dog’s grip, grabbed a sharp branch and thrust it into the dog, killing it instantly. Until it occurred to me -- maybe "Newcastle" in this anecdote was Newcastle-under-Lyme, located about an hour from Liverpool and more or less on the way to/from London!

And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Newcastle United joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. Then for the next two or three days, get your head in the bag for an hour or so morning and night and take deep breaths ! But he came out and, for the first time last night, admitted that the team he “manages” is crap, not good enough, relegation material. These are torrid times for our club, but the pain could be eased by some REAL entrepreneurial skills from Mike Ashley.He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father? Suddenly, a member of the public stops him, and says, "I recognise you from somewhere, are you famous? The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. In short, for those of you that don’t know, although I’m sure you do, the songs are based on poverty in Liverpool.

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