The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

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Example: If someone electrocuted a neurotypical while they were doing groceries (or screamed in their ears, shoved lights in their face etc. Feeling deeply is both a blessing and a curse as you can become sponge-like, soaking up the emotions of everyone around you, which can be entirely overwhelming. So it stands to reason that there will be cross overs and situations where a clear cut diagnosis is not possible or even beneficial. It gives you time to think of a way to reject the demand in a less abrupt manner, and it will remove the pressure of having to do it in person.

Have all your bills on Direct Debit payment to avoid the demands of having to pay bills when they arrive. If you have someone you trust who is sensible and has your best interests at heart, just run your more extreme impulses by them before jumping in head first. The memoir brings to life Harry's past experiences and feelings, from his torrid time at school to the peaceful and meaningful moments when he is alone with a book, writing or creating YouTube videos.There’s huge potential for autistic RATIONAL demand avoidance to be seen as a pathology people try to train out of them instead of understanding their sensory, social, and personal needs. I have been recently learning and understanding my own autism and ADHD, discovering my PDA and how it has effecting my life and my family. It puts you right in the driving seat, which gives us PDAers all that lovely control that we thrive on.

By taking away a PDA individual’s autonomy, you will be causing them a great deal of anxiety and stress, which could build up to mental health issues, long-term, or to an explosive reaction. They continue during the school day; 'sit down, cross your legs, get your books out, raise your hand if you want to talk, be quiet, line up for assembly. The more demands are perceived or placed on you, the more you will be pushed towards meltdown – and no one wants that. I don't know what it will look like going forward as I have to find a way to keep providing a safe space for him while being able to work as well, but it has given me hope. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file.

I've tried to explain the difference further in my blog post Autism with demand avoidance or Pathological Demand Avoidance? There is debate about the existence of pathological demand avoidance (PDA) and whether or not it is an autistic profile. When we are doing something that is exactly what we want to do when we want to do it and that we have control over, it is the most euphoric feeling; like the stars have aligned.

Diagnosed with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in his teenage years, Harry Thompson looks back with wit and humour at the ups and downs of family and romantic relationships, school, work and mental health, as well as his teenage struggle with drugs and alcohol. This could include destructive behaviours, hurting others, kicking, hitting, running away and self-harm. Often, this is a means of escape from the World, whether in the form of taking on the role of being either someone else, an animal, or an inanimate object, or playing role-playing games (like Dungeons and Dragons, etc.Sometimes these things feel like a violation of my will, or my body’s boundaries, even when that doesnt make sense – just the bodily experience of this demand, choice or need (aka demand from body) makes it impossible. For example 'well, that sounds like a great idea, but we might have to wait until we've saved up enough money for that' or 'we are sorry that is not possible now but we'll make sure we can do it next week when the weather is better'.

Over the years We tried all the different parenting techniques, that would work with her sister but not with twin 1.

By providing an eloquently written insight into the world of PDA, Thompson's memoir gives invaluable information to those looking to expand their knowledge of the autism spectrum. Autistic people have enough negative perception about them without adding to it via labels with negative connotations about the person. Our team offer children a safe place to explore their feelings and experiences whilst being offered support througn on expert understanding of autism and neuro-diversity. Being friends with someone who completely understands how your brain works and how you see the World brings an incredible feeling of belonging and understanding, which a lot of Autistics and PDAers yearn for (we live in a world where we don’t feel like we belong and are not often understood by others).