Women, Sex, Power and Pleasure: Getting the Life (and Sex) You Want

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If you’re doing something that makes you feel good, it’s only going to add to your life. It’s not going to take away.” Byers, E. S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self‐disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36(2), 180-189 a b c d Lehmiller, Justin J. (2017-12-26). The psychology of human sexuality (Seconded.). Hoboken, NJ. ISBN 9781119164715. OCLC 992433913. {{ cite book}}: CS1 maint: location missing publisher ( link)

Romance. Do you and your partner have the same definition of romance? Is it missing? How can you reignite it? How can romance set the stage for sexual intimacy? https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201403/why-arent-we-talking-our-partners-about-sexa b Badenes-Ribera, Laura; Bonilla-Campos, Amparo; Frias-Navarro, Dolores; Pons-Salvador, Gemma; Monterde-i-Bort, Hector (2015-05-27). "Intimate Partner Violence in Self-Identified Lesbians". Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. 17 (3): 284–297. doi: 10.1177/1524838015584363. ISSN 1524-8380. PMID 26018210. S2CID 206737985.

McNair, Ruth (2005). "Risks and prevention of sexually transmissible infections among women who have sex with women". Sexual Health. 2 (4): 209–17. doi: 10.1071/sh04046. ISSN 1448-5028. PMID 16402667. So, introduce sexy acts into your everyday life. Whether that’s taking selfies or wearing lacy underwear, Bryan says, it’s essential that you see yourself as sexual. Indulge in your fantasies. You don't need to go full blown over the top with the things you like in bed, but some basic kink can really add variety and interest to your sex life. The problem is that sex can easily become routine, especially when you've been with someone for a while. To keep it great or make it better, you want to break up the monotony. Nothing says "goodbye monotony" like silk blindfolds, fuzzy handcuffs, and a fun game of Bad Cop.a b Clarke, Victoria. (2010). Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer Psychology. Cambridge University Press. ISBN 9780521700184. OCLC 1031490912. Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419 This definition “not only means having the sex you enjoy but also sex becomes more novel and fun when you have lots of different activities to select from.” 7. Always add lube a b c d Carroll, Janell L., author. (January 2018). Sexuality now: embracing diversity. Cengage Learning. ISBN 9781337404990. OCLC 1064600804. {{ cite book}}: |last= has generic name ( help) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list ( link)

HIV/AIDS Surveillance Report: Cases of HIV Infection and AIDS in the United States and Dependent Areas, 2006. Centers for Disease Control. Retrieved on January 9, 2009.Risser, Jan M.H., Risser, William L., Risser, Amanda (December 2008). "Epidemiology of Infections in Women", Infectious Disease Clinics of North America, 22 (4), pp. 581–599. When you’re trying to tell how aroused a sexual partner is, listen to their words, don’t assume based on what their body is doing,” Mourikis advises. While condoms may not be applicable to many WSW sexual encounters, they are still useful when sex toys are involved. Toys that are shared between partners can spread pathogens even when cleaned. The use of condoms in addition to thorough cleaning can help reduce the risk of transmission via sex toys. [26] It might not be easy for you to talk about your sexual desires, but your partner can't read your mind. Sharing your thoughts and expectations about your sexual experiences can bring you closer and help you achieve greater sexual enjoyment. Hurlbert, D. F., & Whittaker, K. E. (1991). The role of masturbation in marital and sexual satisfaction: A comparative study of female masturbators and nonmasturbators. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 17(4), 272-282

You should also experiment with sex toys. Including sexual materials in your sex life can improve your satisfaction and most sex toys can be pleasurable for both partners. [30] X Research source Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419 Reveal what you like. You need to be open with your partner about your attitudes and feelings towards having sex. You should also make a point of asking your partner what they want and what they like. Being shy or coy will only make your partner feel self-conscious, which can make the experience worse for both of you. Let yourself enjoy the experience and allow yourself to let your partner see that you're enjoying it too. [13] X Research source Byers, E. S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self‐disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36(2), 180-189 Richters, Juliet; Prestage, Garrett; Schneider, Karen; Clayton, Stevie (2010). "Do women use dental dams? Safer sex practices of lesbians and other women who have sex with women". Sexual Health. 7 (2): 165–9. doi: 10.1071/sh09072. ISSN 1448-5028. PMID 20465981. Many doctors consider sex between women to have negligible risk for transmission of STIs [4] and fail to offer any information on prevention of STI transmission for sex involving two women. [16] Although lesbians have a lower risk of contracting STIs than their heterosexual and bisexual counterparts, [17] the risk still exists. [18] Additionally, most WSW have had sex with men at some point in their lifetime, which significantly increases the risk of infection. [19] Yearly pelvic exams are encouraged for WSW to contain the complications of STIs. [17] Safe sex [ edit ] Instead of prescribing to this singular idea of sex, Mourikis suggests adopting a new definition: sex, she stresses, should be “any physical, mental, emotional or spiritual experience that is pleasurable and erotic.”a b c Stevens, Patricia E.; Hall, Joanne M. (July 2001). "Sexuality and Safer Sex: The Issues for Lesbians and Bisexual Women". Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing. 30 (4): 439–447. doi: 10.1111/j.1552-6909.2001.tb01563.x. ISSN 0884-2175. PMID 11461028. Communicate openly with your partner . Communication with your partner will improve your sexual satisfaction and help with your intimacy. [8] X Research source Davis, D., Shaver, P. R., Widaman, K. F., Vernon, M. L., Follette, W. C., & Beitz, K. (2006). “I can't get no satisfaction”: Insecure attachment, inhibited sexual communication, and sexual dissatisfaction. Personal Relationships,13(4), 465-483 [9] X Research source Byers, E. S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self‐disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36(2), 180-189 [10] X Research source Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419 It can be hard to establish and maintain open communication with your partner, especially if you aren't comfortable with sex and what you want. Think about what you can say and still feel comfortable and safe. Vo, Christine, Carney, Michael (December 2007). "Ovarian Cancer Hormonal and Environmental Risk Effect", Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics34 (4) p. 687–700. Cling wrap is often posed as an alternative to dental dams, but not widely recommended. Cling wrap is used in the same way as dental dams, and much more cost effective. No studies currently exist on the permeability of cling wrap to STI causing pathogens, but it is known to be waterproof. [23] Mental health [ edit ] Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to getting sex “right”. But by building your confidence, better understanding what you like, and paying attention to the needs of the people you’re getting intimate with, you’re all but guaranteed a sex life that won’t leave anyone wanting.