Carrie Kills A Man: A Memoir

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For my kids and their peers, whether you’re gay or trans or non-binary is probably the least interesting thing about you. Culture is a constant thread within your memoir, whether influences, crushes, favourite bands – who are some cultural figures who had the biggest impact on you and why? So if the press aren’t going to get it right, then we need to find other ways to tell our stories and connect with people. Carrie kills a man is Carrie Marshall's account of her experiences from coming out as transsexual and how her life changed when she embraced this part of her life.

It is both a personal, deeply moving and life affirming story of one woman’s journey towards happiness and herself but also an accessible, heartfelt rallying cry for trans’ rights. At first I wasn’t sure about whether being funny was appropriate, but I think it’s important because there’s a poisonous narrative of trans people and the wider community as militant, humourless, thought-policing snowflakes when the reality is completely different. Carrie Kills a Man is a funny, insightful and highly relatable account of navigating the choppy waters of starting again when you thought you knew who you were.I think being Scottish means I’m just naturally drawn to that – we Scots are brilliant at mining comedy from pretty dark seams sometimes, and we’ll tell the most horrendously embarrassing stories to make our friends laugh. It's the story of how a tattooed transgender rock singer killed a depressed suburban dad, and of the lessons you learn when you renounce all your privilege and power. Yes, there were tears of anger at the transphobia Carrie and others have had to and continue to face and tears of frustration and disbelief at the sheer lack of humanity within our NHS when it comes to trans healthcare and access to services but…there was also joy; so much joy. It’s the story of how a tattooed transgender rock singer killed a depressed suburban dad, and of the lessons you learn when you renounce all your privilege and power.

At her best when she is sharp, scathing of the system, of the people of the energy or joyous, big emotions are what Carrie does best in this novel but often cuts off as it is getting good. From coming out and navigating trans parenthood to the thrills of gender-bending pop stars, fashion disasters and looking like Velma Dinkley, this is a tale of ripping it up and starting again: Carrie's story in all its fearless, frank and funny glory. And lastly, the song choices were fabulous and I have really enjoyed the playlist I got to listen to along the way.Viviciously Scots, angry in all the right bits and an author who actually places importance in the good bits of being trans, this book is a gorgeous, real and emotional memoir of not just the author, but every trans person in some degree. Most importantly of all, it’s enabled me to meet lots of book people, who are of course the best people. Carrie Kills A Man, CKAM for short, is my first memoir and was published by the brilliant 404 Ink in November 2022.

I really hope readers see themselves reflected a little bit, whether that’s in the funnier stuff – I think we sometimes need outsiders’ eyes to remind us of just how weird and funny a lot of the things we take for granted are – or in the bigger picture: you don’t need to be trans to wonder what it’d be like if you decided to reboot your whole life and take a different path. You can push a culture war, ban books and try to bring back Section 28, but that knowledge and understanding and empathy is out there now. And the portrait being painted of us is a monstrous one; it’s like people are competing with one another to see who can make up the nastiest stuff about us. There were definitely times when I had to ask myself, ‘are you really sure you want people to know about this?Throughout the book, Carrie discusses and highlights the non-linear process of transition and how what we feel and allow ourselves to feel is shaped by our environment and the information we have. And if you’d like to listen to it rather than read it, it’s available as an audiobook – narrated by me! I remember a lot of the examples Carrie brings up in her book, but it's jarring to see them laid out so vividly.