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The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

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If you are looking for a “how-to” parenting book with specific things to do for a tantrum or homework refusal, you will be disappointed with The Conscious Parent. But if you are looking to make a fundamental change in yourself and the relationship you have with your child, breaking the transgenerational cycle of unhealthy parenting, you will not go wrong with this book. Neglectful parents favor a “hands-off” approach, neither getting very involved with their kids nor expecting much from them. They may believe that children learn best on their own. Neglectful doesn’t always mean abusive, but overall this tends to be the least effective parenting type. r. Shefali’s groundbreaking book is the one book every parent should read. I cannot put it down or stop referring to it in my conversations with friends and co-workers. It will change the way you see your role as a parent and yourself. There is no blaming or shaming. Simply kind and inspirational. Dr. Shefali holds up the mirror to readers and inspires us all to take control of ourselves and watch the impact on our children. It’s no surprise we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves? How can we feel their spirit and hear the beat of their heart if we can’t do this in our own life?” It is a process of self-discovery and inner transformation. By becoming more conscious and aware, you can become the best version of yourself, and in turn, be a better parent to your children.

Young kids — especially toddlers — are notoriously unreasonable. That can make conscious parenting pretty frustrating and even seem ineffective. Because little children also need more structure and involvement, you may find there’s no time to be “conscious” when they’re throwing a tantrum or dropping your phone in the toilet. Requires high self-awareness Life is to be experienced, not fought against, run from, or engaged halfheartedly. Though we may wish to make changes in the future, to be conscious is to be with an experience as it’s unfolding, rather than thinking about how we would like to change it. Taking charge of our life so that we alter the quality of our experiences in the future comes after an experience.” This happens because our ego is so insecure that it wants to be in control of everything. Change is uncomfortable for most adults, as they have an identity to protect now. Conscious parenting is about becoming mindful of your behaviour and engaging with your child as an individual.Let’s discuss how in the next lesson. Lesson #2: Raising a child is as hard as running a successful startup. I consider that practical aspect the most important – because we, as parents, have a lot on our plate already; we’re stressed out, we have tons of stuff to do, and we don’t have time for lengthy experiments or long term considerations when all we want to do is to get the kid to shower and get ready. Usually you would use one booster, however you can use more for heavy wetters or for nighttime. Do I need liners? There are many answers to these questions, but it’s even better if you consider them to be rhetorical. The point is simple: if you approach parenting as you would running a major organization, you would probably be a better parent. Not only because you would have mapped out a mission from the get-go, but also because you would know precisely what to do to achieve your objective. If the success of your startup depended on understanding something better or staying late at work, you would do both. Essentially, that’s what conscious parenting is all about: being there. And knowing what “being there” means. The dynamics of the parent-child relationship

From environmentally friendly Bambo nappies, to skincare, wipes and much more, The Conscious Parent Company aims to bring you products which all have at least one added benefit. They may be organic, made from ethically sourced materials, environmentally friendly, free from chemicals, etc, so that you can rest assured that the choices you make for your child will have a positive impact. Dr. Tsabary believes, as I do, that a child’s misbehavior or emotional distress is always due to the parents. “The focus is always on us as parents, requiring us to look within and ask, ‘What am I bringing to this relationship in this moment that is mine to own and not my child’s to receive?’” (p. 57) Conscious parenting means being aware of your own emotional hurts and parenting yourself, first and foremost. In taking time for reflection, you’ll become aware of your patterns and how they impact your parenting style. Working with a coach — especially one that specializes in working parents — can help you stay calm and centered. 3. Set clear boundaries But I was very wrong. This book has helped me learn how not to over react and to stop trying to fix everything. It’s a shame as I really like this author but this just goes on and on and on and on, no actual interesting facts or advice, plus it’s patronising. Making out every mother should cherish each moment.

Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a world-renowned clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York and a doctorate from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Eastern philosophy and Western psychol... W]hile you may believe your most important challenge is to raise your children well, there’s an even more essential task you need to attend to, which is the foundation of effective parenting. This task is to raise yourself into the most awakened and present individual you can be. The reason this is central to good parenting is that children don’t need our ideas and expectation, or our dominance and control, only for us to be attuned to them with our engaged presence.” (p. 10)

I will explain why, and also offer a small critique. But first the good stuff: This book will make you take another look at your role as a parent – what is it that you have to do? And it will make you take another look at your own childhood – what did your parents do? It’s a tremendous privilege to raise children, though for a quite different reason than most of us who are parents imagine. Be flexible and ready to change; that’s the only way to succeed and become a good, conscious parent. The Conscious Parent Quotes We engage in doing because we find it easier to say yes to those aspects of life connected to our child’s performance in society than to their authentic being. However, if we shift our own axis to a delight in simply being, so that all our activity flows from this childlike state, we spontaneously find ourselves honoring our children for those qualities that may be less quantifiable but that are infinitely more essential—qualities such as authenticity, awe, joy, peace, courage, and trust.” Even so, most parents are eager to find answers to their children’s behavior. Blindly attached to the image they have of themselves, they believe that they are doing everything right or, at least, that there is a solution outside themselves. When they buy books and go to therapists, they don’t expect a lesson in humility, but a clever parenting strategy, a magic wand to make all parenting problems disappear. Parents don’t realize that the problem is not their children, but themselves, and that their unconsciousness, as Tsabary writes, is not their children’s to inherit, but theirs to excavate.It’s okay to teach discipline, but focusing on just one aspect, like marks on the final report card, is not a great approach. At some point in our youth, we make decisions about who — and what — we want to be when we grow up. Those decisions are often based on what we loved — and didn’t love — about our own childhoods.

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