So Sad Today: Personal Essays

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It’s pretty common to feel a little low in autumn and winter. The nights get long and cold, and there are plenty of days when you may not even see the sun. It should be viewed as any other health crisis. But due to stigma, it is not often so that we view it that way.

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I’m also terrified of other people’s narratives. I don’t want to be perceived as falling apart. It’s fine that I’m frightened of me. But if you are frightened of me, then the problem is more real. I don’t really know how much I am allowed to fall apart. I don’t think I want to find out. sosadtoday tweeted for the first time on July 5th, 2012. The first tweet displays the unique style of the account: short sentences, written all lowercase. Do you think public perception and discourse around mental health have been changing over the past few years?

Our single friends say they are going to be alone for the rest of their lives and we tell them they are crazy. We tell them they are definitely going to find someone. But how do we know? We know nothing.” Instead I buy into some antiquated notions around mental illness that it is “all in my head” or that I am “imagining it”. Look, I had to read it. And although I found it hard to get through, I did end up feeling grudging respect for the relentlessness of this self-exposure. After all, essays about how people are anxious and depressed but working on it in therapy are ten-a-penny; an essay about wanking yourself into a stupor over vomitonline.com, that's something else. Once you've gone with her there, you are definitely a little changed, whether you like it or not. And this pays off in all kinds of ways when she wants to make a connection. We feel obligated to be our own heroes. We feel like we need to hold on rather than let go and let others in. When this happens, sadness increases, and we are no longer engaged with those we love. Experts believe sunlight prompts your brain to produce serotonin. When you have lower levels of this hormone in your system, you’re more likely to feel depressed, especially as fall and winter roll around. Spending more time in the sun, then, can increase serotonin and potentially relieve sadness.

So Sad Today by Melissa Broder | Waterstones

You are not alone in this at all. Sadness can be very telling of what a person is going through. If it becomes depression, added steps are needed to getting help. Take action: I know I don’t control the outcome of any of this, but implementing a plan and taking action can prevent a downward spiral. The sooner you go from victim to advocate or champion, the better. But what if I did tell people exactly what was going on? What if I valued my own peace of mind more than what other people think of me? Would I end up jobless, friendless, and loveless? Would I vanish entirely?” Your needs are more than food, shelter and clothing, etc. They include understanding, compassion, reassurance, empowerment and hope. When you let yourself become vulnerable, people can offer you these things. It starts with communicating your needs. That mask needs to come off. Otherwise, you’re just waiting for more sadness to consume you when isolated and alone. That mask is designed to distract others from your pain, but it doesn’t work in the long term. Eventually, that mask will break.Definitely. The essay on my vomit fetish [where fantasising about vomit helps achieve orgasm] – a couple of months before the book came out I realised, “Wait, this is actually going to be in the world…?” To this day, when my aunt says she has the book, I just want to rip that chapter out. Before the book came out I said to my agent, “I think we have to take this out, nobody has to know this much stuff.” They told me to think about it, so I showed it to a couple of writer friends, and they said “You have to keep this in.” I’ve had people refer to that essay recently as the centrepiece of the book. But still it would be so much easier for me if it was not in there.

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I guess everyone has their own line between ‘honesty’ and ‘oversharing’. Mine, it turns out, is where Melissa Broder goes into the details of her vomiting fetish. It's nice to have that nailed down, as a kind of reference point. It’s probably good that I don’t say these things to people. It’s probably good that I keep pushing myself to leave the house and maintain my social masks of competence, engagement, and comfort. But what if I did tell people exactly what was going on? What if I valued my own peace of mind more than what other people think of me? Would I end up jobless, friendless, and loveless? Would I vanish entirely? While not everyone with depression will feel sad, unexplainable sadness you can’t seem to shake is one of the primary signs of depression.I don’t want to be human. I don’t want to age or die. What I want is to be impervious to all of that. And if I can’t defeat time and death, then let me at least be impervious to what other people think of me. I want to be beyond reproach. Let me at least try.” Book Genre: Autobiography, Biography, Biography Memoir, Essays, Feminism, Health, Memoir, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Nonfiction, Poetry, Short Stories, Writing

So Sad Today: Personal Essays by Melissa Broder | Goodreads

take the test and get your results. Please note that other variants of depression exist which are not tested for on live, laugh, love, lose interest in things you once found meaningful, cry at whole foods— so sad today (@sosadtoday) March 18, 2016 In the book you write about addiction to drugs, alcohol, medication, relationships, calorie control, the internet… what have been the most and least effective coping techniques for you? How did you find your voice, which combines internet slang with existential despair (eg “brb, regretting major life decisions”, “found inner peace jk”)? You are worth everything. Your sadness does not speak to what you are worth. It only tells you the story you tell yourself. And when you change that story, you can breathe. You start to see the positives in your day. You start to realize you deserve to be happy. You even let yourself smile maybe. You will not go down that easy. You will rise again.That’s interesting, I do have a lot of British followers. I lived in London for five months when I was 20, and I loved the dark sense of humour. I think part of that is the weather. You need a dark sense of humour to survive that. But at the time I was in an active addiction, so I wouldn’t say it was great for my mental health. I feel it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are. People ask me, “Since moving to LA do you feel happier?” No. Any time you attempt a fresh start by changing something on the outside, particularly geographically, you’re going to bring yourself with you.