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Red Card Roy

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While McDonough doesn’t regret the red cards, and is philosophical about the boozing and womanising, he knows his was ultimately a career of ‘what if’s

During one game, McDonough had to be restrained from jumping into the crowd Eric Cantona-style after a ‘volley of insults’ from one ‘mouthy p***k’. But he notes that he does get on with some referees, and he opines that if more ex-players became referees the standard of refereeing would improve. I kept trying to chip the keeper; there’s me, a 6ft 1in centre-forward trying to chip goalkeepers, taking the p**s! Roy was still a player, first and foremost, at the front when it came to the boozing and banter. But he also took young players under his wingThe rivalry continued when Wycombe were promoted to the Football League the season after Colchester. McDonough goaded the Adams Park fans following his side’s 5-2 victory, prompting an attempt by Wycombe director and TV commentator Alan Parry to have him arrested for inciting a riot. Apparently assembled from a bin of spare “Soccer’s Hard Men” tropes (the mullet and tache, the drinking and womanising, the failed marriage, the distant father he’s desperate to impress) McDonough is such an unrelenting stereotype that the obligatory career photos have presumably been included to reassure readers that they are not the victims of an elaborate spoof. Driven by limitless quantities of self-belief and an almost psychotic relish for physical confrontation, McDonough played just two first-team games during unhappy spells as a centre-forward at Aston Villa, Birmingham City and Chelsea. At the age of 22 he claims to have made a conscious decision to cruise through lower-league football as a way of funding his fondness for nightclubs.

Red Card Roy, as his X-rated memoirs are entitled, set the bar low and it kept slipping. If he wasn't Britain's dirtiest, wildest, booziest footballer of all time, he was on the podium.He also boasts of having bedded 400 women, drank up to 20 pints a night and regularly turned up to pla1y 'half-p***ed'. His final game for the U’s was a similar blur: McDonough was “so messed up” that as he looked at the ground he saw “two distorted balls” at his feet. McDonough scored his first professional goal in his second appearance, a headed equaliser at Loftus Road on the last day of the season. On the coach trip home, he got drunk for the first time in his life. The striker was playing for Southend at the time, while the current Middlesbrough manager was a midfield enforcer for Newport County.

After a successful stint as a car salesman, McDonough moved to Spain, where – after athree-year spell running a Charlton Athletic soccer school – he now flogs property around the swanky La Manga resort. Look at Joey Barton - he got a 12-match ban for losing his rag, but he isn't notorious because he's hard. He has become notorious for being a p****.Arguably it was his confrontational style, carried over from his playing days, that ultimately saw him leave Colchester and move through the non-league ranks with Dagenham & Redbridge, Chelmsford City, Canvey Island, Heybridge Swifts, Bishop's Stortford, Braintree Town and Harwich and Parkeston amongst others.

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