Joined in 2023 
82 
63 About this deal
Byron Katie also seems to discount the importance of planning for the future and having goals. While living wholly in the future or in the past is counter-productive, we need to expend some energy deciding where we want to go and what we want to be and then figuring out how to get there. Sometimes life will throw wrenches in those plans, but we can't remain static and expect to be truly happy. And we do have responsibilities to others, particularly our children. Well, when I think Bob is a complete jerk, I get angry. I’m tense. I’m bitter. I treat him like a jerk and I’m not at all pleasant to be around. Rubin suggested that romantic love was composed of attachment, caring, and intimacy. Based on his research, he developed an assessment designed to measure whether a relationship involved liking or loving. Questions in Rubin's Liking and Loving Scale As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” Can you really absolutely know that that's true?" is not a useful question. If the answer is always "no," which Byron Katie seems to believe it is, then there is absolutely no moral foundation. Whether she agrees or not, I believe there are some "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" in this world. People *should* be honest. Children *shouldn't* be brutalized, mutilated, beaten, starved, murdered, etc. Just because bad awful things happen, doesn't mean they *should*. The key, in my mind, is to accept that things that "shouldn't" happen sometimes do anyway, that you have no control over other people's choices, and that sometimes that really hurts, and then move on with a determination to try not to hurt others the same way, to ease pain instead of cause it, not to accept that bad things *should* happen because they did.
Dear Katie, I know they worked for you, and I'm really happy for you, and it's very kind of you to share what has clearly brought you (and others) so much joy and peace, but claiming it is the right way (and the only way?) for everyone else is at both a little arrogant, and potentially damaging to the people in question (literally). Byron Katie is fond of saying that she doesn’t like to suffer, so she doesn’t argue with reality. “I realized that it’s insane to oppose it,” she says. “When I argue with reality, I lose — but only 100 percent of the time.”Spending time together may seem less natural and easy, especially when you’re both busy or tired. But love means you keep trying and make an effort to show you care. You feel deeply connected This isn’t sustainable over time. Eventually you may need to prioritize your partner slightly less to take care of daily life. As other readers have stated, this book was really hard to review. I didn't feel that the author was truly honest, for some reason. She presents herself as completely altruistic, but the dynasty that she is building through "the Work" doesn't seem to support that hypothesis. She comes off as a bit of a New Age nut, and the book is a little silly in parts.
If you can’t stop thinking about them even when you’re apart, you’re most likely enjoying that agonizing bliss of being in love. Everything feels exciting and new I want Paul to give me his full attention. I want Paul to love me completely and to be considerate of my needs. Paul Paul to agree with me and to get more exercise. A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” Debrot A, et al. (2017). More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being. DOI: Karandashev V. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. ORPC. 2015;5(4):1-21. doi:10.9707/2307-0919.1135There were some disturbing "blame the victim" implications toward the end of the book when Byron Katie applied The Work to situations involving abuse, incest, rape, etc. For example, "There's no such thing as verbal abuse. There's only someone telling me a truth that I don't want to hear." Um, no. Verbal abuse is real. It is abuse, not necessarily grounded in truth, and no, it *shouldn't* happen. It's also completely inappropriate to ask a woman to identify what "her part" was in the sexual abuse her stepfather committed on her when she was nine years old. That's just wrong. Loving is marked by these feelings of attachment, caring, and intimacy. Liking, on the other hand, is characterized by feelings of closeness, admiration, warmth, and respect.
She’s taught the process, which she calls “The Work” to millions of people over the past three decades, and today, I’d like to share it with you. God gave humans free will close free will The idea that humans are free to make their own moral choices., so although he exists he cannot interfere in any suffering humans experience either as a result of choices they have made or consequences from the natural world. Finally, the idea that we should just accept everything as is ("it is what it is" she said over and over) is absurd. Again, where would we be with this notion? We'd still have slavery; we wouldn't have civiil rights in this country; we wouldn't have people devoting their lives to social justice, the eradication of disease and poverty, etc., etc., etc.Langeslag SJ, van Strien JW. Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility. PLoS One. 2016;11(8):e0161087. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0161087
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/02/scientists-find-a-few-surprises-in-their-study-of-love/ The lawgiver - God created humans to live in a certain way, and he gave them many spiritual and ethical rules or laws. There are 613 of these laws in the Torah close Torah Law; teaching. The word Torah can be used in a narrow sense to mean the first five books of the Hebrew Bible (The Five Books of Moses) and also in a wider sense to include the whole of the Hebrew Bible and the Talmud.. The results revealed that good friends scored high on the liking scale, but only significant others rated high on the scale for loving. Psychologists, sociologists, and researchers disagree somewhat on the characterization of love. Many say it's not an emotion in the way we typically understand them, but an essential physiological drive. Psychologist and biologist Enrique Burunat says, "Love is a physiological motivation such as hunger, thirst, sleep, and sex drive." Conversely, the American Psychological Association defines it as "a complex emotion." Still others draw a distinction between primary and secondary emotions and put love in the latter category, maintaining that it derives from a mix of primary emotions. How to Show Love to Another PersonByron Katie illuminates one of the most profound ancient Buddhist texts, the Diamond Sutra, to reveal the nature of mind and to liberate us from painful thoughts. At once startlingly fresh and powerfully enlightening, A Mind at Home with Itself offers us a transformative new perspective on life and death. After you’ve done some serious interrogating with your thought, it’s time for what Byron calls the “turnaround.” Flip the original thought on its head invarious ways and just observe how each one makes you feel. A thought is harmless unless we believe it as it's the attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering. There will always be a certain amount of light that gets around your sunnies – no pair of sunnies is going to be completely airtight. So it is important to wear a hat as well.” You can evenanswer the four questions again for those that you feel particularly strong about. Lesson 3: Being frustrated about reality doesn’t change anything, so stop it.
Great Deal 
New Comment