QBQ!: The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life

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Unfortunately, though, they’re often the first thoughts that come to mind. It’s a sad fact that when most of us are faced with a frustration or challenge of some kind, our initial reaction tends to be negative and defensive, and the first questions that occur to us are IQs. In this book, we will explore the QBQ! Advantage Principles-five fundamental concepts or values that guide our behavior. The QBQ! Advantage Principles are: As I left that day, I gave him a good tip, as anyone would have, bouncing my quarters across the bar. (Just kidding. It was the excellent tip he had earned.) And when I returned a couple of months later and asked for “my favorite server, Jacob Miller” (I love his last name), the hostess said, “I’m sorry, sir, Jacob is no longer . . .” A few years ago, an immediate family member was in the hospital with a semi-serious condition. At first, we were terrified and heartbroken by the gravity of the situation. Fortunately, I was reading QBQ! at the time. As I began asking questions like “What can I do to help?” and “How can I improve this situation?” things started to get better. Everyone seems to agree on the need for personal accountability, but no one knows what to do about it. The QBQ solves that problem by enabling us to transform our desire for accountability into real, lasting change.

Here are the 3 most life-changing lessons this book teaches about having the right attitude when life gets hard: We have countless opportunities each day to make choices. And what is it that we are always choosing? Our next thought. A compelling opportunity for change exists in these individual moments. Taking charge of our thoughts can literally transform our lives. By helping us make better choices, the QBQ enables us to do just that.This book seems like it would be best for a passive-aggressive manager to give to his employees to read so that he doesn't have to spend time training them. Lesson 2: When you focus on yourself by including “I” in your questions, you develop the rare and valuable habit of accountability. I've seen firsthand the difference personal accountability can make. I recently had my first year-end evaluation from my new boss. In our organization-a large financial and insurance firm-the highest rating anyone can achieve on their performance review is an "Exceeds." My boss began the meeting by saying he had not awarded an "Exceeds" to anyone in fifteen years! "But your performance has been stellar and I'm giving you an 'Exceeds' rating for the year. I wish I had a dozen people just like you!"

No, I haven’t,” I said. “And I’m in a bit of a hurry. But all I really want is a salad and maybe a couple of rolls.” I have been fortunate to both read John G. Miller's books, as well as see him speak in person, and I must tell you this is a reminder that we all need. The truth is, the concept of personal accountability is a tough pill to swallow for some today - it means we cannot blame others, and play the role of the victim. But if you think about it in the right context, who in their right mind would choose to be a victim? Even though I’m not a medical professional, I discovered steps I could take to help my loved one because I asked the right questions. Thankfully, their condition improved rapidly, and they surprised everyone by coming home earlier than expected. This family member is healthy and well today, and I attribute that in part to my learning how to ask QBQ questions. On the home front, I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son, and I have been preaching the concept of personal accountability to them for a couple of years now. We have always had great kids who listen to their parents and care, but it's definitely taken it to another level. They solve their own problems (well, most of the time) but they own their choices and consequences. I was proud when my daughter was selected as the award recipient in her class for, you guessed it, ownership. As for my son, a funny moment happened yesterday. After letting our dog out of her room for being in doggy timeout, my son promptly told our dog, "Maya, it's your choice if you want to be good or bad." Couldn't have said it better myself. But simply reading about personal accountability will not bring the Advantage Principles to life. Personal accountability is all about action-making better choices day in and day out. Throughout this book we'll hear stories of individuals like Bill who embody the Advantage Principles and see the difference personal accountability makes in their lives. But we won't see much difference in our lives until we take similar actions of our own. So let's start right now. As you read on, continually ask yourself, "How can I-how will I-apply these ideas at work and at home?" That's the first step toward unleashing the power of personal accountability and gaining the QBQ! Advantage. All it takes is the simple flip of a switch.Immediately, my wife took notice. She'd make a suggestion, preparing for the worst, and I'd thank her. She was stunned. In his bestselling book QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, John G. Miller revealed how personal accountability helps to create opportunity, overcome obstacles, and achieve goals by eliminating blame, complaining, and procrastination. The result? Stronger organizations, more dynamic teams, and healthier relationships. The final few years of our dance partnership (we only stopped because we started a family) were the best of our career. My dancing was never better, but even more importantly, our partnership was never better. Funny how that works. Huge difference between using personal accountability to solve a problem (which is what the book focuses on) and using personal accountability to initiate a conversation with others about working to solve the problem. Doesn't explain when you'd want to use which approach.