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Posted 20 hours ago

Taking Charge of Her Marriage: A FLR Tale of Spanking, Figging, and Pegging

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ZTS2023
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Besides the obvious (role reversal), what are some of the key differences you see between the FLR dynamic and the traditional dynamic of domestic discipline? In fact, many if not most of us say that we want her to have the sole discretion to determine whether a disciplinary spanking has been earned. The couple may have agreements or understandings around the kind of behavior that is presumed to be punishable, but she gets to decide when the agreed-upon rules or standards have been transgressed and whether to do something about it.

Like communicating with your partner about it in a disrespectful, unconstructive tone. That kind of communication almost never results in a resolution of the underlying issue. Rather, it just makes the other party defensive and causes them to dig in their heels. I was always a 50/50 switch. It made no difference to us who went first. It was going to be fun. It evolved that it worked best for her if she was spanked first as I was not completely rev beyond red line by being paddled first and I could take my time with her and paddle her as she liked it. While their practices overlap, an FLR with domestic discipline has goals that are almost the antithesis of BDSM, which is more about exploring fantasies. So how does she do it? Well, first she makes me take off my pants and underwear. Then she pulls me across her lap for about 50 hard hand swats on each cheek. Then she stands me up and tells me to go get either the strap or the paddle. 90% of the time it’s the strap, which is the little whit lie I’ll tell you about in a minute.I know some would object to that kind of top-down decision-making on such an important issue. But in the absence of an agreed-upon hierarchy, what is the alternative? Just defaulting to the status quo?

I’m sure that explains it. Once you did rejoin us, you did a nice job of thanking everyone for coming and wishing them goodnight. I was relieved, actually. I did not want to have to spank you, in front of our friends, twice in the same evening. They had not yet fully recovered from the once. I’m not sure that Sam and Bill have recovered still. Just as with chastity, the best way to get your man to consent to being spanked is to find a man that is already willing to submit to female authority. If instead you get a man that has submissive tendencies, make it clear early in the relationship that spanking is essential to you. Once he is used to regular spankings, there should not be further resistance to the idea. Big relationship problems are seldom simple and one-dimensional. The core issue often is important, is real, and does need to be dealt with. But, that core issue often is bound up with a whole bunch of peripheral issues, including how we communicate about the problem to our partner and also to ourselves. There are many ways to be in an “Female Led Relationship” and we’ve evolved into something that works very well for us. For some, FLR indicates that the woman calls ALL the shots and makes ALL the decisions regarding the household, finances and events. The man’s position in this situation is that he does exactly as instructed by his wife or girlfriend. Not what we do but as long as its consensual, safe and sane…more power to you. I thought Susan and I had a good marriage. Nothing special, but I loved her and we had some fun times. In retrospect, I suppose most of those good times occurred early in our life together, but still, we’d been married for twelve years when she surprised me Friday night as I came in the door.Some of us talk about it in terms of “consensual non-consent” or, perhaps less controversially, “blanket consent.” We consent to the disciplinary relationship as a whole, and perhaps to the rules that govern it. But, we don’t want to have a choice on whether particular spankings are given or other disciplinary measures applied within that context.

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