Learning and Being in Person-Centred Counselling (third edition)

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Tony Merry’s book is both a comprehensive introduction to the practice of person-centred counselling and a useful start point for understanding the development of the approach. He (with Sheila Haugh’s sympathetic updating) makes reference to the many theorists and practitioners who have influenced the approach, giving the reader an insight into the strands that make up the tapestry of person-centred therapy. It is one of those rare books that is both erudite and accessible. Students who want to understand how to practise person-centred counselling will find useful suggestions and insight into how to accompany a client on their individual journey. The development of the approach is covered with a light but extensive touch and further reading and research are well signposted.Students will find in this book a thorough grounding in person-centred theory and practice; for experienced practitioners, it will enhance their understanding and their abilities. According to Rogers, people could only self-actualize if they had a positive view of themselves (positive self-regard). This can only happen if they have unconditional positive regard from others – if they feel that they are valued and respected without reservation by those around them (especially their parents when they were children). All individuals (organisms) exist in a continually changing world of experience (phenomenal field) of which they are the center. Learning and Being in Person-Centred Counselling is an important book for any student of counselling and psychotherapy. Each chapter provides the reader with clear explanations of fundamental person centred concepts. Despite being first published more than 20 years ago, this book remains relevant to contemporary person-centred counselling practice. It is highly accessible to students at any level of study and contains numerous practical exercises to help the reader gain a deeper understanding of person-centred theory. I would highly recommend it to counselling and psychotherapy students and to any readers who wish to acquire a comprehensive understanding of person-centred counselling.

Rogers, C. R., Stevens, B., Gendlin, E. T., Shlien, J. M., & Van Dusen, W. (1967). Person to person: The problem of being human: A new trend in psychology. Lafayette, CA: Real People Press. The environment a person is exposed to and interacts with can either frustrate or assist this natural destiny. If it is oppressive, it will frustrate; if it is favorable, it will assist. As experiences occur in the life of an individual, they are either a) symbolized, perceived and organized into some relationship to the self, b) ignored because there is no relationship to the self-structure, c) denied symbolization or given a distorted symbolization because the experience is inconsistent with the structure of the self. There are several things we can do with our everyday experience: we can see that it is relevant to ourselves or we can ignore it because it is irrelevant; or if we experience something that doesn’t fit with our picture of ourselves we can either pretend it didn’t happen or change our picture of it, so that it does fit.The next Rogerian core condition is unconditional positive regard. Rogers believed that for people to grow and fulfill their potential it is important that they are valued as themselves.

Individuals were living life on other people’s terms – and were withholding, muting or pushing down their own organismic valuing process. The people they wanted to be, were being pushed away by themselves to please others. The organism has one basic tendency and striving – to actualize, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism (Rogers, 1951, p. 487).

The 3 Core Conditions are:

At the extreme, a person who constantly seeks approval from other people is likely only to have experienced conditional positive regard as a child. Congruence & Incongruence Carl Rogers (1902-1987) was a humanistic psychologist best known for his views on the therapeutic relationship and his theories of personality and self-actualization. When the individual perceives and accepts into one consistent and integrated system all his sensory and visceral experiences, then he is necessarily more understanding of others and is more accepting of others as separate individuals.

Incongruence is “a discrepancy between the actual experience of the organism and the self-picture of the individual insofar as it represents that experience.

What Is Semantic Scholar?

It is not, in my estimation, a state of virtue, or contentment, or nirvana, or happiness. It is not a condition in which the individual is adjusted or fulfilled or actualized. My sense of reality is unique, formed out of what I experience, and out of how I process and understand my experience. Psychological maladjustment exists when the organism denies to awareness significant sensory and visceral experiences, which consequently are not symbolized and organised into the gestalt of the self-structure. When this situation exists, there is a basic or potential psychological tension. When we experience something that doesn’t fit with our picture of ourselves and we cannot fit it in with that picture, we feel tense, anxious, frightened or confused. Unconditional positive regard involves accepting and supporting the client without any conditions. Empathy requires the therapist to understand and share the feelings of the client.

This may hinder the development of their true self and could contribute to struggles with self-esteem and self-acceptance. Rogers developed client-centered therapy (later re-named ‘person-centered’), a non-directive therapy, allowing clients to deal with what they considered important, at their own pace. Underlying needs and experiences that I deny or distort – or have not managed to make sense of – will tend to leak through in my behaviour. This behaviour may be less consistent with how I see myself. I am not likely to own this behaviour. A person with low self-worth may avoid challenges in life, not accept that life can be painful and unhappy at times, and will be defensive and guarded with other people.

The 19 Propositions in Plain English

When I disconnect from my own self, I will deny my awareness of my own experience, so it will be very difficult for me to make sense of the world and other people. This causes unease and tension (sometimes known as ‘incongruence’) . The goal is not to validate or condone these behaviors, but to create a safe space for the client to express themselves and navigate toward healthier behavior patterns. Any experience which is inconsistent with the organization or structure of self may be perceived as a threat, and the more of these perceptions there are, the more rigidly the self-structure is organized to maintain itself. When things happen that don’t fit with the picture we have of ourselves, we feel anxious. The more anxious we feel, the more stubbornly we hang on to the picture we have of ourselves as ‘real’. Rogers (1959) believed that for a person to “grow”, they need an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood).