No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering

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I didn’t get to all chapters, as I had to move to another town, but that book and the words of Thich Nhat Hanh about suffering have changed my life forever. The first of the Four Noble Truths is the truth of suffering. We can either reject or accept this truth as an inevitable part of our existence. Then, if we accept and even embrace difficult experiences, we can use our suffering as a tool for growth. Conclusion no mud, no lotus developing understanding and compassion Just as the well-tended compost becomes a flower garden, when we take care of and look deeply into our sorrow, it transforms into under- standing and compassion. The way to understanding is first to listen to yourself, because the roots of our suffering are deep and connected with the roots of the suffering of others. Usually we think that other people, such as our parents, our partner, or people at work, are to blame for our hurt. But looking more deeply, we can see the true sources of our own suffering, and we also can see that the person who we think is out to get us is a victim of his or her own suffering. Understanding our own hurt allows us to see and understand the suffering of others. Looking without judgment, we can understand, and compassion is born. Transforma- tion is possible. When you’re upset with someone, it may seem at first that this other person has no reason to suffer. His life may seem happy and carefree, and he may have all the things in his life that you think you want. But when you are able to look deeply enough, you will see the suf- fering in him. Sitting and walking mindfully, you direct your attention to the causes underlying the other person’s behavior. You see clearly that he has a lot of pain inside and doesn’t know how to handle it. That is why he suffers so much and makes the people around him suffer. What he needs is help, not punishment. If you stay with this practice, the sufffering of anger or jealousy in you will dissipate and the flower of compassion will be born. When there is no more blame or criticism in your eyes, when you 38 Creating change requires doing the homework, building alliances, forming a realistic picture of what’s possible, standing up to the naysayers, and steadfastly moving forward, planning the next step and the one after that. Many days sinking up to our knees in mud, others restraining ourselves from angrily tossing cow flaps at people who resist what we’re trying to accomplish, and some laughing and commiserating with our co-workers. Ban the heroes. Together, it’s less uncomfortable. At the very beginning of the book is a quote and approach that can be used when someone asks a difficult question about suffering that has no end in sight. During the Vietnam War, when someone would ask him when the war would end, he knew that he couldn’t tell a lie and say it would be over soon, nor did he want to say that he didn’t know because that would only cause even more despair. So he would answer, “Everything is impermanent, even war. It will end someday.”

Other research on building resilience shows that bravery is one of the character strengths most strongly associated with resilience. It was found that bravery was related to the recovery of life satisfaction after physical illness, and to posttraumatic growth. Resilience also involves the development of courage, which is defined as the capacity to move into situations when we feel fear or hesitation (i.e. bravery). People who develop bravery do not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain, and are able to face adverse situations with increased resilience. Connect, Care, Create Thầy also provides useful practices you can try for yourself in times of suffering, to try and provide some relief, either for you or for the people ar Create: Recognize that you have the choice and ability to respond to this difficult emotion in creative new ways. Identify a character strength such as hope, forgiveness, perspective, bravery, creativity, kindness to self, gratitude, etc., to help you transform this negative emotion and to create a positive shift in perspective that better serves you. How can you learn and grow from this experience? What new positive emotions are you feeling now? Notice the negative emotion gradually dissipate and lose its power over you, as new positive emotions are created in its place. Celebrate this emancipating feeling by treating yourself to an enjoyable activity. Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow. There can be no lotus flower without the mud.” —thich nhat hanh

What should you not do after a tattoo?

Today, when I heard of Thich Nhat Hanh’s death, I returned once more to one of the most precious lessons I’ve learned from him: Suffering is inevitable, but we can always transform it.

The Collective energy of mindfulness and compassion with and among others, can be very strong. Be an example to others. Water the seeds of others and watch them bloom, while feeling joy bloom within you at the same time. Looking Deeply the pain of our ancestors Some of our ill-being comes from hurt and pain in our own life; but some has been transmitted to us by our ancestors. Think of a stalk of corn that grows from a seed. Each ear of corn, each leaf, contains that initial seed. In every cell of the plant that seed is there. And just as the plant of corn is the continuation of the seed of corn, you are the con- tinuation of your parents. When you see a picture of yourself as a five-year-old child, you may ask yourself, “Am I the same person as that child?” The answer isn’t “Yes” or “No.” Your form, your feelings, your mental formations, your perceptions, and your consciousness are quite different from when you were that child. It’s clear you aren’t exactly that same person. But if you say that you are a completely different person, that’s equally wrong. You and that young child inter-are with each other. Before my mother gave birth to me, she had a miscarriage. The child who didn’t arrive that time—was he my brother or was he me? We aren’t the same, but we aren’t totally different. My feet have been transmitted to me by my ancestors. When I walk, I walk with my own feet, but these feet are also theirs. I can see the hand of my mother in my hand. I can see the arms of my father in my arms. I am my parents continuation. There are those who have lost their biological parents, or never knew them, and have no chance to connect with them in person. There are also people who grew up with their blood relatives, whose parents are still alive, yet they are unable to communicate with them. In all these situations, even if you don’t have a regular interpersonal rela- tionship with your parents or your ancestors, your body and mind con- tain their suffering and their hopes as well as your own. 33 When you walk to the bus stop or from one room to another, make it into a walking meditation. Even if your surroundings are full of noise and agitation, you can still walk in rhythm with your breathing. Even in the commotion of a big city, you can walk with peace, happiness, and an inner smile. This is what it means to live fully in every moment of every day of your life. This is something that is possible to do. Of course we all yearn for for predictability, and faster if not instant-gratification. It would be nice to fail fast because we would minimize the duration of the “making something new work” suffering.If we continue to look deeply into the flower, we see many other things, like the earth and the minerals. Without them a flower cannot be. So it’s a fact that a flower is made only of non-flower elements. A flower can’t be by herself alone. A flower can only inter-be with everything else. You can’t remove the sunlight, the soil, or the cloud from the flower.