Joined in 2023 
82 
63 About this deal
This is certainly a book I would come back to if I felt troubled by mental health problems and would highly recommend giving this a go to anyone who needs some help. This is likely to create adults who “feel real only when they have a direct behavioural or emotional impact on those around them”. I can't relate at all to the author's assumptions that everything you find difficult about looking after a kid (even a baby) goes back to the way you yourself were neglected as a child.
the stuff I hated: Perry reiterates “the ruptures don’t matter, it’s what you do to mend that matters” but her tone is so patronizing and condescending that you know she’s not so secretly judging you.That’s such a common thing for parents to do, as though if it doesn’t exist for them, it doesn’t exist. I like how Philippa talks about self-reflection and self-awareness and the constant struggle to be a better person, not always for others but for yourself.
Many experiments have been done which illustrate that old people are generally more content than younger people. However, this book should have recognised both that primary caregivers have needs as well, and that, in the real world, putting such a huge load solely on one person is bound to lead to struggles that will impact the child as well as the parent.
Secondly, the listener, when being told that their action(s) hurt their partner/friend should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Not a life-changing book, but a little something to read on a bus or think of while having a walk on a snowy day. I appreciate the context in which this was suggested, but it felt like it came from a place of privilege and would perhaps feel out of reach for a lot of people. However, I will admit that I couldn't shake off the knowledge of who the author is married to while reading the book.
There's an exercise section at the back of the book, and her suggestions such as keeping a journal are not new to me, but the way she presents these exercises makes me - for the first time - eager to try them.
And that's not even getting into just how ridiculous much of what this book tells you to do sounds when you're not in a good place. This might sound like common sense, but I’m spelling it out – the more we put this stuff into words, the easier it is to handle. Agar aku tidak mewariskan hal itu, maka aku harus belajar bagaimana berdamai/menyelesaikan "my childhood issue.
about what might happen to our minds if most of the stories we hear are about greed, war and atrocity. Years of working as a psychotherapist showed Philippa Perry what approaches produced positive change in her clients and how best to maintain good mental health. It did reassure the reader that it was NOT intended this way, and that there was almost always a chance of repair. Children definitely deserve to be taken seriously, and I totally agree with how Perry talks about children's feelings and needs.Her own revelation came when her daughter was a toddler: “One day Flo stood up underneath the grand piano and clonked her head quite badly. Being with others—open, vulnerable, naked, real, weak, authentic with another person is central to not only being sane, but to being human. In those times, when these design patterns don't work out for us, she suggests that we should edit these patterns, bend them in a way that they work.
Great Deal 
New Comment