I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

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Recognising shame and understanding our triggers (e.g. physical responses like our heart racing or tightness in our chest), Mostly on Overdrive app audio loaned on Kindle found myself visually reading along and mostly listening before bed. Now, hunger is an easy one, because it’s mostly physical, imagine how complex the situation becomes when you try to understand shame. In her initial research, Brené Brown interviewed over 300 people, after which she arrived at the following definition:

I Thought It Was Just Me Reading Guide - Brené Brown

The ability to recognize and understand their shame triggers. High levels of critical awareness about their shame web. The willingness to reach out to others. The ability to speak shame." pg 67 of the best ways to deal with this is by developing shame resilience. While that can be a long-term project, you can get started by remembering that you can feel shame […] Outlining an empowering new approach that dispels judgment and awakens us to the genuine acceptance of ourselves and others, I Thought It Was Just Me begins a crucial new dialogue of hope. Through potent personal narratives and examples from real women, Brown identifies and explains four key elements that allow women to transform their shame into courage, compassion and connection. Shame is a dark and sad place in which to live a life, keeping us from connecting fully to our loved ones and being the women we were meant to be. But learning how to understand shame’s influence and move through it toward full acceptance of ourselves and others takes away much of shame’s power to harm. There is a wide array of topics of conversation that we feel uncomfortable with, and as a result, most of us try to avoid. You have to forget about judgment and be fully present in the moment, and aware of the other person’s words and emotions. Key Lessons from “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)”

What are the chapters in I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)?

Shame manifests through various symptoms: red face and shaking, difficulty swallowing, and even more extreme ones like the inability to even get out of bed. I'm in two minds about this audiobook. First of all of I am a big fan of Brown, so it was a little disappointing to start listening and realise that someone else was reading it (she was great... I just found that I really enjoyed listening to the passion in Browns voice, she almost becomes a friend through her books in a weird way). What followed was a mix of feelings. I was proud of letting go of an outdated rule, while at the same time feeling ashamed for breaking my promise and “being unprofessional.” Blinkist’s summary of Brené Brown‘s I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)helped me understand myself a bit better. I hope it’ll do the same for you the next time you feel ashamed.

I Thought It Was Just Me Quotes by Brené Brown - Goodreads

We put so much of our time and energy into making sure that we meet everyone’s expectations and into caring about what other people think of us that we are often left feeling angry, resentful, and fearful.” Chapter 10. Creating a Culture of Connection What is a good quote from I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) At its core, this is a way for people to regain control over their “weak” emotions by showing power. I spent a lot of time in the car with my dad this week. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the critical awareness to see shame about my broken promise as one of the causes of my discomfort. Therefore, another feeling tried to creep up a lot: anger. Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging."However, if we allow ourselves to get trapped into a constant avoidance of our true feelings, we are bound to become more alienated. Indeed, the exact characteristics of shame are hard to describe, so it is no wonder most people do not recognize its roots. However, what we can say for sure is that at its core, shame is connected with the feeling or thought of not being good enough. As far as we know, there is one antidote to shame: empathy. But, receiving compassion is not everything – in fact, it is just as vital for you to empathize with others as well. There is an explanation for this common reaction. Anger and shame are connected since people tend to point fingers whenever they want to avoid confronting their feelings. Now the part of the book that I was constantly feeling weird about was actually how much negativity it brought into my mind, of course awareness is good, but as I am listening to this, I'm constantly hearing first person stories ie. "I am not enough", "I don't deserve love" etc. I understand that this is to hear another persons perspective, but I have been listening to a lot of Positive Affirmations lately and also realising the Power of the 'I am' statements, listening to this book made me a little wary of what my subconscious was taking in.

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth

Knowing that none of us is immune to shame brings us to the conclusion that the important thing is not stopping shame from occurring (since it cannot be done), but learning how to manage it. Anger is a tempting and easy cop-out when we’re ashamed. Blaming others feels relieving in the moment and creates the illusion of regaining control by taking charge, but we all know how this ends: you regret your outburst, know it’s really your own fault and ultimately feel worse. This is easy to understand, as when we are hurt; we frequently become angry with the ones who have hurt us. Or when we’re embarrassed, anger is a tempting and easy way out. Blaming others feels good at the moment, and it gives the impression of regaining control by taking action, but we all know how that ends: you regret your outburst, realize it was your fault all along, and you wind up feeling much worse. It’s primarily a little step toward assisting you in recognizing when you’re ashamed. The key to altering your reaction to a circumstance is to see yourself from the outside at any given time.The book by Brene Brown raises awareness about the power of vulnerability and how we can explore shame with honesty and vulnerability. The author says that shame hinders our confidence. If we want to change our lives, we first learn to overcome shame. This is what the book teaches us. Now, we need to underline that there are no universal causes of shame. Everyone connects the feeling with his or her own negative experiences from the past. Reacting to Shame The role of self-compassion: Brown argues that self-compassion is critical for overcoming shame, and provides tips for cultivating self-compassion and learning to treat oneself with kindness and understanding. of fear, shame often works in overdrive to hide this truth. Popular author and research professor Brené Brown insists that “Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and […]