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My Secret Life: An Erotic Diary of Victorian London (Signet Classics)

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Then one hand goes on her knees outside her clothes — and more kisses follow. If not randy before, — the pressure of his arm, and hand now drawn still nearer to her belly, or pressing on her thighs but still outside her clothes, makes her randy now. — He kisses her

chemise." "I shall be cold." "Come on to the sofa." — Off went her chemise. "Take off your shirt." — Off I threw it. Then I looked at her cunt, and upwards and downwards from armpits to anus. —Oh those delicious investigations when made for the first time on a fine woman, or indeed almost any woman for the first time, for a lustful curiosity steals over me at the idea of seeing any female naked, from an infant to a middle aged one, — and she was a splendid tall creature, with large breasts, hairy arm pits, a dark fledged, full lipped, mature, bold, handsome looking cunt, with a larger clitoris than usual. It was indeed so much developed as to be quite a feature, but there were but small inner lips, hanging from it. Her whole form was fleshy and solid, her face handsome but bold, with large dark fiery eyes, and splendid teeth showing thro full lips, and now I guessed her to be thirty-eight years old. I could feel Victoria's knees against mine and liked it, and at once thought of cunt. I chaffed her about being late, and she made some lame excuse. — "How closeI had been wondering daily who and what she was, I was surprised at my easy success. Did she want money, or was she only satisfying her lust — she had no servant — said she couldn't afford champagne — yet drank excellent Claret, had the best rooms — was well clothed — had very fine linen, and lots of baggage. Risking it I said delicately, "If you want money I can lend you some." — "No thank you I have enough, and have only to write to get what I want." Our talk was of all sorts of things, tho we still put sly but useless questions about each other. At length - From first to last I had about three weeks enjoyment of her, for she was only a day past her monthly period, when the accusation came, by which she lost her situation, and I had her up to a day or two before her courses were forced on by the doctor. The dinner was removed, but wine left, it was only sherry. Unnoticed I bolted the door, and down I made her sit with me on the sofa. "Now, Lucy," said I, "let us talk quite seriously about you and your belly; before I can do you any service, you must tell me the truth. Has James done it to you or not?" — After long hesitation she said slowly, "No." "And you're not with child?" "No." She did not look me in the face and

ried her, might soon have made her a lady; yet here was this poor girl with child by a footman. As I laid by her side that day, I vowed to myself to do all I could to prevent her going to ruin, for I noticed that her very docility would enable any rogue, male or female, to lead her easily. I have had more pleasure in writing this narrative about her than had when writing about other women, whose doings I have told about.We talked cosily, then warmly. Gradually I felt her arms. How plump she was, — she did not look so plump in her gown. Really, — didn't she? Then with coquetry and pleased vanity, she showed her arm nearly to her shoulder. I kissed it. "What sweet, smooth flesh you she with such a sly lewed look, that I felt sure she was game. "I'll show you," and I kissed her. She resisted after the manner of women, but so feebly, that I easily held her close, and repeated my kiss. "Now leave off, they will wonder where I am." "I'm warmer already, ma chere, I'll give you a lovely cameo brooch if you make me warmer still, and no one but you and I will know it." "What do you mean?" "Why this," — and I put my hand up her clothes. She scuffled. "Oh, no certainly not," but she would not have dislodged a child's fingers from her cunt, which I got well hold of. "I won't." "Don't make a noise, ma chere, or they will hear us in the next rooms." "I'm frightened," said she, "I can't, I won't," — and I thought my chance was gone.

Now in my dining-room was a sofa, tho not an usual piece of furniture in a dining-room; but I liked to lay there myself and read after dinner at times, so as to avoid the drawing-room and all that was usually in it. The footman and parlour maid laid the dinner things, waited at table, and cleared away, and so no other servant had any right in that room usually at those times, they had a nice chance and had availed themselves of it, I quite believed. I first had an adventure with the sister of a friend, which perhaps I ought never to have put on paper; but writing these reminiscences gives me great secret pleasure, writing them indeed seems to have become a habit which I cannot break off. When written, I tore the paper in half which narrated this liaison, and a year or two afterwards carefully gummed the pieces together to preserve it. — Such was my inconsistency. (The lady and her brother are, I hear, dead and no harm can be done by narrating the liaison now.) A New York publisher was arrested in 1932 for printing the first three volumes, and in 1969, a British printer as sent to prison for two years for reprinting it. maid whenever I got the chance. A new dress and bon-net were hers — I said — if she would let me, she knew what. — "No she didn't," she replied. How wonder-fully like one adventure with a woman is to another, yet every one at the time, seem to me so fresh.Whilst away I arranged it, and directly on my return to England gave up a snug, quiet, illicit establishment elsewhere, and to the satisfaction of both parties. Both agreed to it, and thought it was for the best. We had no quarrel. It cost much money down, and an annuity paid still, but no one was injured, no one wronged. All interested were provided for. I wonder if this will ever meet her eyes, or if so if she will know that it refers to her. It is not probable, for neither names, places, nor initials are given, and no clue afforded; yet nothing is impossible. We kissed. "I shall often think of you." She made no reply. "I hope we shall meet again." "Gracious heaven, I hope not." She kissed me. "You're very hand-some," — she said, then shut the door, and I never have met her since. C C M was marked on her linen.

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