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Posted 20 hours ago

Notes on Heartbreak: From Vogue’s Dating Columnist, the must-read book on love and letting go

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I wonder if I am focusing on the idea that he kept this secret because the reality of him actually leaving is too big to comprehend.

I think we don’t take the grief of heartbreak particularly seriously as a society, relative to how devastating it actually is. I don’t feel embarrassed when I’m writing about myself because I’m a massive oversharer even in person, but it does affect how other people see me which is crap. Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord, published by Trapeze, is available in Hardback, eBook and audio now.It made me feel so much less alone and I couldn’t recommend it more to anyone that is struggling, or who has struggled with the end of a relationship, especially one that started during your teenage years. And in some ways it is and can see why most love it, however this style of metaphoric hyperbolic writing is just so overdone in the book that I constantly lost concentration. I look at her now in that mirror and she’s me and I am her, and although we’re the same thing I see that we can talk to each other even if I will always know what’s coming because she, her, me, is the only thing I can count on to be there for the whole of my life. Yet, I regularly work weeks like this and my whole life is about juggling, so why, with a book I was enjoying so much, was it taking me so long to read? I’m a fan of Dolly Alderton’s writing and having read Annie Lords column in vogue I really thought this was going to be special.

Annie Lord nails down the heartbreak experience like no other and I think this is an extremely comforting read for people going through it, as I currently am. The story is dull, the main character is extremely annoying, the narrator’s voice and tone almost put me to sleep. So I turn off the tap or I take off my shoes and curl up at the bottom of the bed, held in a sort of paralysis where all I can do is slide my thumb up and down the screen of my phone.It’s been almost two years now, and my life is so much better than I ever thought it would be, and despite the pain and anger that the end brought to my life, and to that of my almost adult children, I have no regrets. I loved hearing how their romance built at university, flirting in libraries and skipping lectures just to be together. Writing about it really helped because it felt like I was still sitting in bed crying all day, but now it was also work. Reading about Annie Lord’s pain, jealousy, anger, sorrow, self-pity, regret, and numbness left me feeling connected to her in a way I haven’t felt with many books. If you’re seeing a guy you want him to think you have loads of options, but that doesn’t work if he can read that you don’t.

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