52 Times Britain was a Bellend: The History You Didn't Get Taught At School

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Britain may have done some good things, but we also did some bad things - in the case of the Indian famine even while we were doing good thigs (helping to defeat Hitler) we were doing bad things (letting millions die). If we cannot critically examine our own pasts as nations and as people, then we deny ourselves the scope for growth and instead fall into the hubris of unthinking pride. TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you've ever wondered how we put the 'Great' in 'Great Britain', wonder no more . . . All those flag shaggers pontificating about sovereignty and how they personally liberated Western Europe at the end of the second world war need to read this, particularly around Britain's role in drug wars, concentration camps, and recompensing slave owners rather than slaves at the end of slavery. As such, it is clearly not worth much to have merely theoretical sovereignty in the sense of unenforceable rights, such as the UK has acquired for itself by Brexit. What obviously counts, rather, is the actual ability of a state to influence the world around it such that its interests are safeguarded, and if this is more effectively achieved by membership in a supranational union, then the purpose of sovereignty is clearly attained, even though the formal description of such a state would, to the clueless observer, suggest that its freedom is reduced. A very amusing - at times laugh out loud funny - account of the ‘history we’re not taught at school’. As the title suggests, the author takes us through a list of the bad things we’ve done throughout history - including the often insane reasons we use to justify them.

This is only a short list of "highlights" shall we say. The delusion of "British Greatness" that we tell ourselves is the cause of our own current crises and won't be fixed until as a society and a culture, we stop lying to ourselves. We've been lying for a long time though.

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The stories use facts without context. Just like a journalist using a single sentence sound bite over an article. Andy Thistlewood, head of development for Open Mike, says: " James Felton's book is laugh-out-loud funny, so naturally we wanted to exploit his genius! James expertly weaves fascinating historical nuggets of Britain's bellendery with some obscenely funny jokes, so we're confident that his book will transfer perfectly to TV. Just when we thought we couldn't be more concerned about Britain's global reputation, James comes along to show us that we need not worry - Britain has always been a bit of a bellend." It pulled no punches on the truth and I LOVE how blunt it was about, let’s be honest, how much of a proper bellend Britain has been through the ages. The narrator is a serious let down, though. More so than the material, he comes across as patronising and annoying. It presents history concisely and humorously. History is often seen as dry and presented in these tomes wider than your hand. Each of the 52 items are presented in a few paragraphs. The tone is lighthearted and it’s entertaining. Perhaps it detracts from the seriousness of the issues ever so slightly, but I heartily enjoyed it nonetheless.

From a British POV - a lot of this history was skimmed over, or not even taught in school (cough, COLONIALISM, cough). I actually ended up studying Russian and German history in more depth in my later years of education - while this was definitely interesting, I would have preferred to know more about the country in which I reside. This is a good introduction to that, and I look forward to finding out more, however negative or positive it is. It's an entertaining read and no doubt has opened my eyes to some moments in history the United Kingdom would like to forget.I gave up half way through, as I found the unrelenting sarcasm, cynicism and self-righteousness too much. The three minutes or so dedicated to each historical incident is fine for some cases - but I don't think you can have a three minute "wry sideways glance" at concentration camps. There are some unknown historical incidents in here that merit a much longer take, it could have benefitted from half as many chapters that are twice as long. Lots of interesting and no doubt accurate gobbets of history. But it's a depressing, wearing listen and don't buy it expecting comedy. Jingoistic notions of British exceptionalism and misguided notions of a benign British Empire have been fostered by populist demagogues like Johnson. It’s about time I learnt what my history classes at school failed to teach me. I read an article in the Guardian recently that pointed out that most British history syllabuses completely skip over Britain’s role in its colonies and the slave trade, putting the onus on glorifying British Abolitionists such as Wilberforce. As we studied only one short module on the Agrarian and Industrial Revolution and the Peninsular Wars, even Wilberforce was relegated to a single sentence, shared with Shaftesbury and child labour reforms. Obviously I have learnt more in the course of my lifetime, but only in the past few years has it occurred to me just how little I know, given I’m interested in history. We went to a small museum in the north of England which had a major display about the slave trade and trading triangle and I was amazed because I had never heard of that and never associated slavery with Great Britain. My viewpoint has been changing and I think this slim and irreverent volume may teach me a great deal about the reality. A TV series based on the book by James Felton, which focuses on the "painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school".

We have gone round the world like a spoiled brat, taking and smashing other people's things in petulant ridiculous rages.

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Including starting wars with China when they didn't buy enough of our class A drugs, inventing a law so we didn't have to return objects we'd blatantly stolen from other countries, casually creating muzzles for women and almost going to war over a crime committed by a pig! James Felton is a national treasure. Although having read this book, I'm not sure that's a good thing -- Fred Delicious

A great combination of lively writing and painfully accurate history easily digested in an evening.I continually thought throughout of the "those who do not know their history are damned to repeat it", as it is sad, but easy to draw parallels to the acts which continue to be carried out today.