Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

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I am a huge fan of my colleague Dr Vanessa Lapointe’s work and have hosted three visits to Australia by Vanessa from her homeland in Canada.

But as development happens and their capacity for self-control increases, and our relationship with them is intact, they'll desire to want to do our bidding.They want to please you and it is our job to understand what is going on in their brains so we can help them be their best selves. If you want to be a better parent, work on yourself because you want to feel better and you want to improve your family life and enjoy life more.

We provide that support through our connection with them, that calms and steadies and regulates them – and then we give some teaching about what we hope will be able to change about that reaction the next time around. Lapointe has given parents, family members and the professionals who work with them a wonderful gift.The author sounds extremely defensive of her advice when in the final chapter she tells converts to her methods to expect the loss of close friends and family members, which seems really strange for a “relationship” based method. It presents a framework for understanding how to approach challenging behavior before it happens, while it happens, and after it happens in a way that is not damaging to child, parent, or their relationship. Apart from the problematic concept of the Hulk by itself, the author wants parents to "hulk it up" with "swagger," whatever that is supposed to mean. While I love the ideas, I found the writing to be lacklustre and I had a hard time getting through this book. A child psychologist equips parents with tools to manage behavioral issues more effectively while supporting their child’s healthy, natural development.