Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to British Birds

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It was like doing an arts centre in Surrey, but halfway to the North Pole, and if you stepped out the door without a gun, you might get eaten, so there was an extra element of danger.

At the festival in Knebworth, Bailey arrived on stage via a secret door in the amps, in a cape and a "terrifying Slipknot mask" of himself, before performing one of the biggest comedy gigs in the world, in front of 65,000 metal fans and on the same bill as Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax.Dylan Moran has stated in a recent article that there will not be, although he alludes vaguely to thepossibility of transferring it to the stage. I think they stay hidden unless you attempt to rescue a goose and then they springinto action, 'right, take him down'." Bailey takes us on a journey around the British Isles, zooming in on those birds that enthuse him the most. Whether it's what they eat, where they fly to or how they communicate, these birds are always fascinating, and he introduces us to their weird and wonderful ways in a manner that is always entertaining. Weirdly I didn't watch the match because I was at the zookeeper's symposium. We were out on the terrace of the Palace of Westminster, watching a cormorant eating an eel –an extraordinary sight.It was all very nice and civilised butevery time England scored you could hear the muffled cry somewhere." In2014, Bailey was selected toofficially openthe new raptor hospital at the International Centre forBirds of Prey. This came about after he discovered a Eurasian Eagle Owl in a restaurant while on holiday in Beijing. It was taped up ready to be killed and eaten. He bought the owl and released it.

This famous photographer says that “at one point I wanted to be an ornithologist” according to an interview with Photo District News, saying that his dyslexia made more visual pursuits more logical. Trudie Goodwin Beardy UK comedian Rory McGrath likens birdwatching to a couple of things here in the Birmingham Post in 2008. One of them is Leonard Cohen, the other is a bit more specialist. Either way, he says that it’s the sort of thing people own up to once someone else has the courage to out themselves. Jimi GoodwinHaving interviewed him many times over the past decade, Bailey is unfailingly generous with his time, intelligent and funny even when he's trying not to be. He is that rare comic who is naturally amusing.

Jarvis (of Pulp fame, of course) has worked on an album for the National Trust, sung about trees and written a song called “The Birds in Your Garden” on the album We Love Life, and generally seems like the sort of lefty, arty, eccentric bloke who would enjoy birding. Alex Zane, Jeff Green and Jayne Middlemiss

And the supposedly famous birders I’m not sure about…

That’s the intention. It’s maybe not for the hardcore birder. It’s more for someone who doesn’t really think about birds, yet if something catches their eye, wherever they are in Britain, that bird will be in the book. It’s the third and final episode of Jimmy McGovern’s women’s prison drama and, remarkably, not all hope is lost – even if Orla has just been told that, without a home to return to, they’re giving her a tent to live in on release. Abi also finally opens up about what she did to her baby, but can talking about it really help her find any redemption? HR Six Four 9pm, ITV1