Gentle Guidance: How to Understand, Inspire and Empower Your Kids

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NIKKI- But real bad, bad periods of low mood. What strategies do you give people with depression and anxiety like Taylor which might help some of our listeners? NIKKI- It’s the podcast you had no idea you wanted to hear, it’s Access All from the BBC. We’re here every week chatting all things disability and mental health, sometimes with a sprinkling of juju, as you’ve just heard. I’m Nikki Fox recording from Broadcasting House in London.

Marie talked about “giving a child the right language. So rather than shutting them down…We start giving him the language, so eventually, he can say, “I’m feeling angry because”rather than [demonstrating it through his] behaviour.” MARIE- So, when I first met Jayliyah I think the first thing I did was have a different perspective of her. So, I was immediately about to see what a great girl she is, and I was able to see that separate from her behaviour. Which is quite hard for other people to do, and it is part of my job. But I knew that some of the behaviours that were being presented were undesirable, but I could see that she as a person was very articulate, she had goals and dreams, she was able to express herself. She was great as a young person, so that was my first impressions. So, I knew that that’s what I needed to do in terms of pulling that out and getting others to see that side of her. Pupils stay for at least 20 weeks before returning to mainstream education, but only once they are judged to be ready.The biggest irony for me was when Ms Gentles said “Every single one of my strategies is designed around keeping a child feel emotionally safe…For me what’s really important is we can see him for who is, and see past his behaviour. That’s everything to me.” We do, however,hold to a number of key principles.Consistency and routines areat the heart of promoting goodbehaviourand a positive learningenvironment.Behaviourneeds to be taught deliberately and must be modelled by all in a manner that promotes respectful relationships.However, we must be mindful of the need for adjustments and flexibility where appropriate,for exampleconsidering age-related development andchildren with SEND. Leading behaviour expert Marie Gentles is heading to Beacon Hill Academy in the West Midlands – where in the aftermath of the Covid pandemic, some of the pupils are struggling. One of those headlines in June this year –“Inside pupil referral unit where ‘unteachable’ kids as young as FIVE often ask teachers for a hug”– was about Marie Gentles’ school. Her mother, Jennifer Bancroft, worked in a care home for the elderly, but when carpal tunnel syndrome forced her to quit she became a foster carer. Her mother’s two sisters also fostered.

Anni screams and continues to spit on the hand of Milligan - who calmly asks for another teacher to join her. JAMES- Well, I would suggest it’s one of two things: the government are very clear they want to support more disabled people to get into work; which totally laud, very supportive of. You don’t actually need to change the WCA to do that, but maybe we could talk about that in a second. The other reason is that we have a budget coming up in November, we’re going into election year next year, the government spend needs to come down and this is one of the ways budgets and disability benefits that you can reduce spend. So, cynically I would say it’s being rushed through ahead of a budget mid-November with a view to making some savings.

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GEMMA- Honestly, I get really emotional. Because she set a goal, which was to be in school for a year, and she’s over-excelled that. The head of Hawkswood primary PRU in Waltham Forest, east London, was the only leader (dozens were asked) who allowed journalists in as part of The Sun’s investigation into children in PRUs, some supposedly as young as two, as a result of exclusion. EMMA- Now, your book is about a young disabled woman – you obviously [laughs] – who has 24-hour PA support and uses a wheelchair etc. But there are a couple of big themes in it. And we’ve heard about ableism, we talk about ableism on Access All, the discrimination against disabled people. But something that I hadn’t really heard very much before was sexist ableism. Shall we just jump right in there with the big question and ask what is sexist ableism? In some cases it can involve the adult standing behind the child and placing their arms across them, with their right palm on the child's left shoulder, and their left palm on the child's right shoulder, effectively prohibiting them from moving. By the end of nursery, my son was receiving fortnightly fixed-term exclusions. He was just four years old. School staff were aware that he was being assessed for autism and ADHD, but stated it was “just behaviour”.

It is no accident thatbehaviourfeatures on both the headteacher and teacher standards. Whilst my views onbehaviourwill soundpolemic,I do deeply hold that leavingit to chance is to absolve yourself of your professional responsibility - especially as a school leader. Poorbehaviouris kryptonite to a school’s culture, ethos, to teacher morale and wellbeing, to learning, to recruitment and retention, to a school’s reputation, outcomes and children's life chances.NIKKI- The government made a big announcement around benefit reforms this week, and we wanted to break it down so it made sense to us and our listeners. Now, Emma, we’ve been looking into this, haven’t we, but I’m going to get you to break it down. What have you found, Emma Tracey? But for his long-term growth, the building of his relationship with Milligan was perhaps the key to his progression.