My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

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clean pain is when you know that a difficult thing needs to be done, you know what that thing is, and you do it because healing/growth are on the other side. dirty pain is all the subsequent pain when clean pain is avoided. Menakem: Well, I don’t say “bodies of color” anymore, because what I’m trying to do is, I’m trying to reclaim the idea that I’m actually a human.

Tippett: And we know the narrative — they fled. They fled. We never think, these were traumatized people. An important concept is how trauma can spread between bodies, termed “blowing” trauma through another person, using varying degrees of abuse, control and violence. This phenomenon often occurs as a result of triggers, in a spontaneous manner, which are considered unintended, and thus may be rationalized after the act. This spread can occur in families as well as among strangers. undoing white-body supremacy is first and foremost a somatic endeavor. the cognitive/thinking parts will flow second (because the lizard brain, the part tied to our vegus nerve, is both faster than cognition AND the vegus nerve can override cognition). Guided Imagery: Body work guided imagery exercises of safe, secure situations, as well as threatening ones. And so those types of things is what started — I’ve always thought about this type of stuff. But there were pretty seminal things that happened in my life that made it so I was able to actually sit down and write it and put things in place.Resmaa Menakem (born Chester Mason, Jr.) [1] is an American author and psychotherapist specialising in the effects of trauma on the human body and the relationship between trauma, white body supremacy, and racism in America. [2] [3] [4] [5] [1] If you have a white body, please don’t tell me—or any other body of culture—that you’re their ally. Everything else aside, no one will believe you. If a stranger (or a distant acquaintance) walks up to you and announces, “I’m your friend!” your first thought will probably be "No, you’re not."

Trauma is real and affects the body (and changes gene expression) but I don’t think it’s a stretch to call quite a bit of this pseudoscience. I do not wish to diminish the way he thinks we should heal (because somatic healing is so important), but the theory is messy and misleading, ESPECIALLY to the lay person. Conflict is a natural part of any intimate relationship. Yet most couples either avoid it or try to smooth over their differences. This often results in at least one partner compromising their integrity—and stunting their own growth. Menakem: [ laughs] So what happened was, I asked one question. I said, “How many people in here believe in diversity?” Everybody shot their hands up. Boom. Everybody. I said, “Answer this one next question.” And I said, “Don’t bring your hands down. Answer this question. Diverse from what?”

Tippett: One thing that occurred to me, reading your work, is one reason that elders are so comforting and healing — and children understand that — is because — not everybody becomes an elder; some people just get old … Tippett: The Tower of London that we go to as a tourist attraction, and it’s one torture contraption after the other. Menakem: That’s right. And then once you get home, pause. The pausing is the most important thing. Pause. Sit with it. Notice the rage. Now, there are gonna be some people that are listening to me that say, “Well, I …” Would recommend this book to everyone who reposted that quote on insta about the trauma white people hold in a white supremacist society, therapists, and anyone who liked the body keeps the score (so therapists). Really I would recommend this book to everyone I know, if they were willing to read it.

I also noticed stereotypical ideas about weight and overweight people. I did not appreciate that and I do not think it was necessary at all. While dealing with the subject of clean pain, the author introduces the Five Anchors , the process for moving through clean pain and when someone senses conflict building. Now, if you get reps in with that, not just do it one time or just when I tell you to, what you may notice is that you may have a little bit more room for other — literally, for other things to happen that can’t happen when the constriction is like that. I am curious — I’ve read you and listened to you — I’m always curious what people’s passion and calling become. And it feels to me like it’s right here in the title of the book — your grandmother’s hands.Resourcing: identifying and utilizing the resources you have (e.g. supportive relationships, comforting memories, or calming breathing etc.) to help manage stress and trauma. Krista Tippett, host: Well, I was kind of aware that I was half-thinking about what was gonna come next, but, I don’t know, I felt more settled. And there was also a feeling of — there was kind of a feeling of comfort. Menakem: … at that moment, the white body became the standard of humanity — not merchants, not landowners, the white body, because at that moment, the white body had dominion over, and everything else was a deviant from that. And then a couple years later is when you start to see white persons show up in Virginia law. Listen. Let me say this. The Middle and the Dark Ages set the table for poor white people because they had been brutalized by powerful white people. It set the table that when powerful white people in the 1600s came — here in America, came to poor white people —