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ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

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How to effectively handle the painful feelings and stressful thoughts that inevitably occur in every relationship." While the two are in different clothes for a day and others around them treat them as they see them, each is still the same person inside. 3. The Anthropologist – The Observing Self Metaphor Three columns, as shown below, provide some structure for a guided awareness intervention that will ideally take place for at least 5 minutes daily over a week. The full exercise can be found in our Positive Psychology Toolkit. Feelings What's great about the book is that it's really well structured and guides you on your way to better understand how to make relationships work (or when to end a relationship!). Moulds, M. L., Kandris, E., Starr, S., & Wong, A. C. (2007). The relationship between rumination, avoidance, and depression in a non-clinical sample. Behaviour research and therapy, 45(2), 251-261.

ACT interventions tend to be most effective when those undergoing treatment get better at independently noticing and labeling feelings and cognitions without a therapist being present. In this fully revised and updated edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility-the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one’s values-can help you and your partner strengthen and deepen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, powerful mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. Picture a beggar and a prince—in terms of physical characteristics, they look almost identical. The beggar wears rags and lives on the street, however, while the prince lives in a palace and is richly dressed. This worksheet is adapted from Letting a Little Non-verbal Air Into the Room, an academic publication by Ciarrochi & Robb (2005). This Increasing Awareness of Cognitive Distortions intervention works well in conjunction with mindfulness interventions as part of ACT therapy (Burns, 1980). It begins by introducing the cognitive distortion concept and outlines 11 examples that your client may be able to relate to. Examples include All-or-Nothing Thinking, Personalization, Should Statements, and Jumping to Conclusions.Then, over a period of several minutes, invite them to try and suppress the unwanted thought, any way they might like to go about it. The third prompt on this worksheet asks them to approximate how often it crossed their mind through that brief period. In this space, make a note of it so this figure is visual.

Goals and Actions: List some of your present behaviors or actions which are designed to enhance your life over the longer term. What are some things you’d like to do more or new things you’d like to begin? Can you think of some steps you want to make to improve your life? Skills you aspire to build on further? Cognitive Defusion – This is a mindfulness strategy that involves recognizing our psychological experiences objectively rather than perceiving them as perceived threats or realities. Our feelings, therefore, are simply feelings and not omens of impending doom. Thoughts are thoughts and not necessarily true, clever, or important. Guided meditations and scripts are useful for cognitive defusion.A good way to think about potential ACT applications is to consider its fundamental aim—the promotion of psychological flexibility as a means of enhancing wellbeing. With this and the six core principles or processes in mind, we’ll likely be seeing a lot more ACT applications as positive psychology moves forward. Try to identify and/or label the emotion that’s present in the moment. Is it fear? Unhappiness? Embarrassment? Rather than suppress or avoid psychological events, ACT is based on the belief that acceptance and mindfulness are more adaptive responses to the inevitabilities of life.

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