Joined in 2023 
82 
63 About this deal
Not in my normal genre so I can't give this 5 Stars...SCREW THAT!!!! 5 Stars, 5 Stars, 5 Stars! 100 Stars if I could give 100 stars! *Sigh* Oh well, 5 Stars it is. Perhaps my biggest struggle is the authors' tendency to blame absolutely every poor character trait on the parents of the unpleasant person. No one ever made a bad decision for themselves, it seems, but everything bad about you is your parents' fault. Only you can fix it, of course, but they're the ones that made you this way--they didn't teach you good boundaries, or they tried to control you with guilt or anger, or they only looked out for themselves and did not respect your needs or boundaries, or... the list goes on. As a child myself, I can recall times that I made my own bad decisions, and I cannot trace my current problems to my parents. They weren't perfect, of course, but they aren't to blame for all of my hardships. As a parent myself, I find it hard to believe that every bad decision my son makes will rest on my head when judgment day comes--it's just not a reasoned position to take here. A wise friend talked to me about this book. It was a wonderful conversation, and as she explained the ideas in the book, we explored them together, understanding so many situations with a (for me) fresh set of insights. For that, I thank the authors mightily. Many people talk about boundaries and how important they are. But do they actually know how to practice what they preach? Boundaries are certain rules or values that define who you are as a person. Having strong values prevent you from accepting a low-paying job, getting drunk with your friends to please them, or letting a toxic parent control you or your married life.
This is a practical book for maintaining boundaries in all kinds of situations. 4. Boundary power: how I treat you, how I let you treat me, how I treat myself, by Mike S. O’Neil, Charles, E. Newbold Jr. Envy defines "good" as "what I do not possess," and hates the good that it has....what is so destructive about this particular sin is that it guarantees that we will not get what we want and keeps us perpetually insatiable and dissatisfied. pg. 97 These books are written by professionals who have years of experience in psychology and the mental health field. They’ll help you understand what boundaries are and how to set limits with everyone in your life. Because, believe it or not, without healthy boundaries, your life is pretty much screwed. 1. Boundaries, by Henry Cloud, John Townsend About the Author: Henry Cloud is an American Christian author. He holds a BS in psychology from Southern Methodist University and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Biola University. Boundaries Derive From God’s Nature Now updated and expanded, this classic book is more timely and relevant than ever for today’s “always on, always there” culture. If technology and social media are intruding on your life and relationships, learn from the boundaries experts how to protect yourself and the people you love. This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ.”
Endorsements
Sometimes this happens in codependent relationships, but in introducing the law of responsibility, the author says that people must be responsible for themselves. I especially liked the analysis of the authority issues some people have -I know I have it- and the analysis of codependent relationships. What can I do when someone wants more of my time, love, energy, or money than I’m comfortable giving?
The authors have, in my opinion, an incorrect view of both love and marriage. They assert that love is primarily a feeling, rather than an action (indeed, that action without feeling is worthless in the case of love); this may correspond with their experience, but it implies that a marriage without "that loving feeling" should end. Marriages, while I'm on the subject, are also not relationships of unconditional love, according to the authors. (I do not mean only in practice, for definitely there are countless marriages that are not based on unconditional love, but I mean the authors suggest that marriages should not be so.) Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live.”
If you don’t like your job, if you are working too much overtime, if your job is driving you crazy, you must do something about it. Well, internal boundaries make you a separate person from your own family. You have your own self that does not depend on your mother or other people’s validation to exist. When someone responds w/anger or irritation that I won't just do what they want or I just won't say "yes" to their request or makes a comment along the lines that my boundaries are too rigid, I now respond with "The boundaries I've established are mine, the issues you have with my boundaries are yours. Your issues are not mine to solve & my boundaries aren't yours to establish." The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem...Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people. We need to take responsibility for our choices. This leads to the fruit of "self control" (Gal. 5:23). A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay he responsibility for them on someone else.... We need to realize that we are in control of our choices....
Great Deal 
New Comment