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In particular, the PFC allows you to control your emotional responses through connections to your deep limbic brain. It gives you the ability to focus on whatever you choose and to gain insight into your thinking processes.
People mirror us. As much you think that what someone else does annoys you, their actions should rather be seen as part of your interaction together. Turn off all the electronics and put those earbuds away for at least 1 hour once a week. They’ll still be there for you later if you want them.Some good ideas but nothing groundbreaking. My favourite chapter was number 3 on decision/indecision, probably because it's the most relevant to me. I honestly can't remember most of the others - which speaks for itself - apart from a chapter on porn which I found hilariously out of place for this book but I suppose isn't for some people! It can take practice to stop comparing yourself to others, but it’s worth it for the benefit of having your inner peace and happiness. Having worked on self-compassion for several years, the voice I now hear in my head is exceptionally kind. I realize my competitiveness came from a place of not feeling enough in who I was, which in turn came from ideas I had formed in childhood. That belief served me when I was small. It helped me get the validation I was seeking from the world around me. But as an adult and a father, it was harming me by pushing me to do more than I could bear. These days, I love the person I see in the mirror, and I always feel good about myself, whether I win or lose. And this has had a huge impact on my life. Yes, I feel happier and more content, but I also find it much easier to stay engaged and be consistent with any lifestyle changes I am trying to make. Many of us have an inner tendency to want to see ourselves as the victim, even when the fault’s actually with us. This is human nature. Everyone lets themselves off the hook this way, to some extent. But victim-mindedness is terrible for our mental wellbeing. It weakens our core happiness by making us feel less content with the world and less in control. When we work to change our inner story, consciously taking ourselves out of the victim role, we become empowered. Who is totally happy with their life? I think we can all improve our lives one way or another. Dr C writes an in-depth book on ways to do this. He gives many examples of his patients who came to him for help and he assisted these people gain more control over their lives. I agree with much of his advice: find one method in the book that speaks to you and do that every day, such as writing down things you’re grateful for, spend less time on your phone—go see actual friends, spend time outside, meditate.
Doctor Rangan continued: “But it’s not just that. Even when you account for lifestyle, there is this beautiful study of nuns. They followed these nuns their entire life. They all had the same lifestyle, same diet, same movement, same sleep, and they found that the happier nuns were significantly healthier and they lived for longer. Sound too daunting? Try unplugging for a shorter amount of time several times a week. 16. Get into nature Every week, take a moment to assess how you’re doing in becoming that person. I’d recommend that you write your values down somewhere to help you set your intention and to help keep you accountable. 2. Eliminate choice A long-term Harvard Study of Adult Development proves that meaningful relationships are essential for your happiness.
This can often be easier said than done. But remembering that you are not necessarily doing it for another person or other people may help you be more open to beginning the process. You need to assume responsibility for your own happiness, rather than playing the role of a victim of your life circumstances. Consider going to your favorite restaurant, taking in a movie, or going on that trip you’ve always dreamed of.
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