Watching my Hot Wife - Shared With my Boss

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After a few too many, the managing director lets it slip that my wife liked to be humiliated in bed and that he had slept with her. After the MD gets even drunker he starts to claim that this was the first time she ever enjoyed sex and that he's " looking forward to the next time." My wife and I spoke in the car (away from our daughter) for a few hours and she was quite cold about it. She said that she feels like we have grown apart, we are distant and it feels like we are room mates. She stated that she doesn’t think I’m emotionally intelligent enough. She blamed my playing of the computer to be the main reason. I tried to understand her point of view on everything she said and I definitely could see that it could feel the way it does. I pleaded for her to see a Therapist and she agreed, reluctantly. She stated she wanted to make it work for our daughter. I was happy with this as at least it’s something.

Slowly, we are making progress and becoming closer again, but she maintains that she is uncomfortable around me and feels bad about herself… and that she doesn’t have “romantic feelings” for me and doesn’t feel that she ever will again. Yet she doesn’t want a divorce, and she wants to keep working to make progress. I believe that working on reestablishing our friendship and negotiating new dynamics in our household are positive steps we are taking that help to create emotional safety and intimacy between us… and might eventually lead to us having affection and romance return to the relationship (I really hope). One weekend about 6 weeks before the wedding day, i had to go on a 4 day business trip 12 hours away from where we lived, and i drove to the place i was going to. Without all the facts why, i ended up getting into a disagreement with the person i had gone to meet with, and i decided to hell with this, got in my car, and drove home, arriving home at 3am in the morning. I soon noticed a change in my wife’s mannerisms on how she usually does things as she started doing things a little differently and in April of 2017 that’s when I found out they was sending pictures and messages to each other of the sexual nature. When I confronted my wife about it she told me that it was one of the other boys in the office playing a joke on the bosses phone. I was absolutely gutted that my wife had not only started this affair but she also lied to me as well when I confronted her about it.

2. 85% of affairs begin in the workplace.

You say no one suspects you, but the guy is your boss. Does he treat you favourably? Does he spend more time with you than with others? It only takes one person to complain and a whole can of worms could be opened. In early September, I noticed my wife was super distant. I would talk about future plans or trips and she would say don’t book it as she doesn’t feel like going. I thought that was a bit strange but didn’t think too much into it. Sex leading up to the week before D-Day was drying up and she would always make an excuse not to have it. I remember a few days before D-Day we had sex and it felt so uncomfortable – like she didn’t want to be there. I knew something was up. She has now gone out and organised councelling and says she wants to do everything she can to make it better. However her actions do not match her words. We are keeping it private however I have lost 16kgs in 6 weeks and very withdrawn from everyone so people are asking questions. Mean while she is happy and going on as life as normal. Also I went OS for a week after finding out about the physical affair and was very stressed over there. She knew this and was available on the phone to help me. When I arrived home a week later she was in bed???? However I was not perfect in it all. I became emotionally distant from her so far as not always able to listen to or talk with her about things. It was not that I did not want to I was just soooo tired. As a result she did get upset and started speaking to friends about how I was not available to her enough and what could be wrong.

I left my wife crying because I realized how much shit she has put us into. I'm now in a random motel and at a loss. I've fantasized about leaving it all and moving to another state, taking a lower paying job, and starting over. That fantasy has both included and not included my wife. My wife said she is still confused with her feelings and has felt overwhelmed the last 7 weeks. I told her that’s because she has been emotionally connecting with her boss outside the marriage and then coming home and seeing her husband make huge improvements but not giving him any credit for it. I told her I can imagine how mentally draining that is. My wife explained to me that she was happy with our life before she had this affair but wondered if she was truly happy. She told me for once she put herself first and that’s part of the reason she did this. I told her that she has always put others before herself since I’ve known her, and that she does this because thats what makes her happy. I said as soon as you put yourself first in front of everything else, look what has happened? You’ve lost all your core beliefs and morals and had an affair with someone. I told her that she is doing exactly what her mother did to her father 4 years earlier. During that time, she told me she couldn’t believe what her mother did and that she never wants to be her mum…and here we are. We had one of our worst arguments ever that night, she thought I blew the whole thing out of proportion. The councillor basically told me there’s nothing I can do…he needs to change the way he sees me as he keeps repeating the same thoughts in his head…or triggering the same feelings…when he sees me. Therefore he apparently needs to rewire the way he thinks about me if he wants the marriage to work, and what does he have to lose in trying?I knew what I had to do. I sheepishly returned to my seat and proceeded to eat every bite of that disgusting, cold, chewy, bloody, raw steak.”

Stop being desperate. As long as you are? He will continue to walk on you. As my Therapist said, “ if you go to buy a new car and tell them you have to have this car, can’t live without it… Do you think they will negotiate with you?” No and neither will your husband. My emotions were running high but I knew I still loved her so much. I knew the person she became in the last 3-4 months was not the person who she was. My wife has never been a liar, deceitful or liked going out drinking after work. Her boss had taken advantage of her vulnerabilities and told her what she wanted to hear while she wasn’t getting that emotion met at home. She says there is nothing going on between them, that she's only trying to make a good impression and I'm being paranoid, she says she loves me and wouldn't be with me if she wanted someone else and I really want to believe her. This weekend they are supposed to go away for a convention and she'll be gone for 2 weeks. I've already told her that I feel uncomfortable about the trip and now she says I'm controlling and she seems determined to go whether I like it or not. She always deletes the call log, Whats up chats , massager massages etc when she talks in off hours. A couple of days later I hugged him and told him I loved him and he responded with ‘ I love u too’. When I looked at him in disbelief he said he didn’t mean he had no feelings for me…just less than he should.

5. After an affair, 65% of marriages end; 35% of couples continue the marriage.

mine had affair with coworker and still working there. refused to resign but saying their affair is over. how to believe? also he blames me for his affair. yes leaving is not so easy . staying for kids. Hi My wife of 8 years and 4 kids had a virtual affair with my cousin for 3 months and 2 months into that affair had a physical affair with her Ex. Both ended by her after she slept with her Ex and I did not find out till a few months later.

Another possible thing that may lead to a wife cheating is a husband that when him and his wife are out with friends, the husband openly mentions things like how good his wife is at sex, or how incredible she looks nude, that sort of stuff not only can get the wife thinking of other men, it can also get male friends of theirs, when hearing these things, at some point starting to flirt with the wife often, letting her know what he would like with her, and possibly making her think of that more and more! So now, I'm sitting here at work with a hard on thinking about tonight with my wife...good Lord how to women do that to us men? And then i went into the bedroom, my fiance started with every excuse in the book, and i stopped her and said, i don’t need to know, the marriage is off, i do not want to see or hear from you ever again, you can tell the guy that was here taking my place tonight that you are no longer my problem, now u are his! and i turned around and left the bedroom, went out onto the porch, and asked the Chinese woman if she would like to accompany me to an all night diner where i could eat something, and she said sure, so off her and i went to eat! Oh and finally, my sister ended up cheating on her husband because he had started a year or so before sharing her with friends and associates of his, not intending to cause her to cheat, but over time that is exactly what happened!Now, i never saw no r heard from my fiance after that, i heard years later that she had been through a lot of men and had 4 kids and was living alone with the kids!