I Am Bisexual: Stories and Advice

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I kept waiting, expecting it to happen at the exact right moment. In the end, maybe it did happen at the right moment...but it was so different than what I had always imagined. We both rolled over in bed and said the words. Me: ‘I’m gay.’ Her: ‘I’m transgender.’ Silence. Now what? I’m married. HAPPILY married!’ Deep down I wanted to do it. I had to do it. This was the first step and if we were going to make this experiment possible, my participation was absolutely necessary. His support and encouragement managed to carry me through the fear. And after being with two sexy bi men, and really enjoying it, my whole system of beliefs about marriage and monogamy turned upside down. First of all, kudos to you for being open and honest in sharing information about your sexual history with your partner. These topics can be very challenging to bring up, but you plowed through anyway and have maintained an open, honest, and patient stance in the face of her worries. Your concerns about her ongoing reactions are valid, but by understanding both your own feelings and her feelings, you can determine the next best steps for your relationship.

The stories in Chaz’s books are based on real-life experiences he has shared with his significant others. Thank you, Haylie, it was a great article and has clearly touched a community of individuals, who thought they were isolated on an island. The comment section really tugs at the heart when reading the experience of so many women. You have touched a nerve for so many, even years after the article was written. so I stood tall to evoid it, just as well he was a small guy. After a few seconds I realized the risk But you love sparkles and dresses and things like that,’ he said, more of a question than a statement. You see, growing up, I was confused. Many queer kids have a similar experience: We’re presented with only one option of what relationships look like—cis man plus cis woman equals true love forever!—and we can sometimes sense early on that something about our internal experience feels different.

The important thing to understand when your partner is not able to accept that you experimented with other guys, is how do you feel about how she views your past or when gives you a weird look when you talk about your experimentation? I haven’t fully come out to my partner yet (just my therapist and a couple close friends), but reading this piece gives me some hope. Thank you for writing this. If you feel like you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t understand, you will recognize those feelings when the partner responds in a negative way, and this can help guide your response and possibly spark a meaningful discussion. Another year passed, and as I continued to explore my identity, I figured out that the term ‘pansexual’ more closely fit me, and my partner continued to support me. Courtesy of Elise Huther A fond memory I have of him showing his acceptance of my sexuality shortly after I came out to him was one evening when we were trying to decide what to have for dinner.

Many parts of society frown upon guys experimenting with other guys, which is not something that tends to affect women as much, and in fact, women being bicurious or bisexual is much more common than guys experimenting with each other. In high school my friend and my friend put little barbie sized cowboy hats on our erections and had a stand off at high noon.” It was my first tie up experience, it happened when I was younger, around the age of 12 to 13. I was in the boy scouts for several years, but my family had recently moved states due to my mom transfering jobs. I remember I was really bummed out because I didn't know anybody at my new school, but my dad signed me up for boy scouts as a way to get me involved to meet new kids.I’m going to write this anonymously. But I’m 30 and I’ve been very very happily married to my best friend and quite frankly the sexiest man on the planet for the last 10 years and have a young son who I adore. But over the past couple of years I have slowly come to realise that I think I am Bisexual. I thought about it a lot when I was in school/college, but I brushed it off because I’d only ever had a boyfriend and was now with a new guy (my future husband). Though my parents were less strict and allowed me to be a tomboy at home, the church spoke for God, and it was God who I aimed to please. So I suppressed everything in me that told me I was uncomfortable with the gender I’d been assigned, and any attraction I had to anyone who wasn’t a cisgender, heterosexual male. Courtesy of Elise Huther This ideology is what makes so many men homophobic to begin with, and it can be extremely problematic for any guy that is even slightly bicurious, because they may not be able to explore that aspect of themselves, leaving them quite unfulfilled sexually.