Ugly: Giving us back our beauty standards

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A bold, beautiful undertaking - this book unravels what we think we know about beauty, both in how we view ourselves and others. Actor Jamie Denbo of Orange is the New Black fame said in 2017, “I was just informed that, at the age of 43, I am TOO OLD to play the wife of a 57 year old”. But here again, there’s a fine line to tread because while female celebrities like Madonna are often subjected to tabloid headlines stating they’ve gone ‘too far’, those who choose to age naturally are accused of looking tired or having ‘given up’.

Perhaps that’s why they’re drawn to those industries – and maybe have more of a vested interest in keeping those standards as they are.Because I don’t feel old and I hate being categorised, but society treats women over 35 as if they don’t exist. Yet, no matter how much time and money I spent, the malaise still lingered, hovering like a dementor ready to snatch my self-esteem at any opportunity. I gleaned that my dark skin needed “colour correcting” when I visited the beauty counters for advice, or when hairdressers told me that my curly hair was “tameable”, but only when blow-dried straight.

Often glossy ads and editorials aren’t as memorable, empowering and powerful as the ones that subvert norms and take risks. I’m a multi award winning journalist, speaker, and the author of UGLY: Giving Us Back Our Beauty Standards published by Blink (Bonnier).Its the kind of book I wished I could have read as a teen, because so much of it described how I was raised to view, observe and consume beauty culture growing up. I can’t help but grieve and be furious that these beauty archetypes made me feel so ugly at such a young age. Relationships between hairdressers and their clients are thought to last for more than a decade - that's longer than the average UK marriage. For Anita Bhagwandas, this started when she was a child and it created an enduring internal torment about her looks.

I would scour teen magazines for any information I could use to make myself feel better, feel prettier. I’m glad to have found some catharsis through uncovering how everything I was sold about my appearance was a beautifully constructed lie. She's spent the last 15 years climbing the ranks of some of the UK's biggest fashion and lifestyle titles, promoting inclusivity and change wherever she's worked.

Take the recent trend for more athletic-looking figures or a larger derriére (for which Black women and athletes have been scrutinised and derided). I think that's what a lot of people are expected to do and it can feel quite jarring to see people who are so comfortable with themselves and not feel like that yourself and wonder why you don't. Now, I want to focus on enjoying beauty my own way and finding inspiration away from this relentless emphasis on looking youthful. You know, the one that tells you you’re not thin/pretty/straight-haired/light-skinned enough to be valuable.

Ageing woes just don’t exist for them, and yet, for me, it’s been an unwelcome foe since my late teens, waiting for its opportunity to strike.I now use my editorial experience to help brands, agencies and institutions deliver content, strategy and insight that finds the optimal place between truly authentic and innovative.