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Memory tends to prettify the past and reshape it into something more palatable, but digging through my diaries and photo albums and press clippings and tour itineraries brought back visceral experiences. This uncompromising autobiography documents the excitement of playing live, the camaraderie of the gang, the thrill of signing to 4AD and the craziness of Lollapalooza. You might naively assume that having a parent in the entertainment industry comes with a degree of financial security, but the author makes it clear that this is far from being the case.
Miki Berenyi was Lush's lead singer and frontwoman, sharing guitarist and songwriting duties with former schoolfriend (and music fanzine co-editor) Emma Anderson. Miki also explores her complicated relationship with Emma – one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years – and addresses the most devastating tragedy of all: the suicide of her best friend and soulmate, Lush drummer Chris Acland. Anderson is happiest in the studio with a compliant producer, finding the best ways of assembling the songs, and finds the tours (especially of the USA) draining, whilst Berenyi much prefers getting out and playing live to crowds. Her times with her father (including a terrifying hand-to-mouth car journey across Hungary with Nora on board) are told with such love that it’s clear Miki loved her father so much that she would forgive him almost anything.One of the most will o’ the wisp of these bands were Lush, co-fronted by two guitarists, Emma Anderson and Miki Berenyi, who met at school and became big enough to crack the US, invited on the second Lollapalooza tour in 1992. Berenyi says of this time “ People think they toughest time for a band is at the beginning, when you’re struggling to make it. While the description of insulting sexual behaviour, aggressive mansplaining and the careless attitude of the band’s managers sound unnerving, all music industry bollocks pales in comparison to real losses.
The ‘lunacy’ of Ivan, particularly his inability to commit to a relationship, was the flipside of his generosity as well as respect for one’s freedom and choice, including that in Miki’s life. Despite the title hinting at a miraculous quality of music, the book in fact can be treated as a how-to-survive manual, whether she talks about the hostile environment of the music industry or her problematic family life. Fingers Crossed is easily my favourite book of 2022 and my favourite autobiography since Bruce Campbell’s If Chins Could Kill (a very different book).If you love what we do, you can help tQ to continue bringing you the best in cultural criticism and new music by joining one of our subscription tiers. Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music.
I never much minded the workload, but the financial exploitation, the bickering with Emma, the anxiety and the relentless lack of fucking respect ground me down. In her father’s case, this was essentially writing and womanizing while her mother focused on her career as an actress and model. Miki’s intimate relationship with drummer Chris Acland, his depression and his ultimate tragic fate are some of the more well-recorded aspects of Lush’s history, but for the first time, the author gives an insider’s view of what went on.Beginning with the upheaval and trauma of a difficult childhood and her friendship / rivalry with bandmate Emma Anderson, with whom she formed Lush in the late Eighties, it tells the story of attempting to establish herself as a woman in a male-dominated industry, and is scattered with numerous engaging celeb anecdotes. A combination of student grants, studying in London and a ridiculously low cost of living (unachievable now in London) gives them weekly access to gigs, and their contacts lead to a job in the industry for Anderson. I bought a CD of Lush’s greatest hits album Ciao, loved it, devoured their back catalogue and the rest is history.
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