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22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

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Your new book is called 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome. Is there anything a man with Asperger’s Syndrome should know if he loves a neurotypical woman?

From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. There are many ways to learn the skills I've outlined. Tap into your best learning mode, or try a few of these ways: From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfillment both individually and as a couple. This book is very representative and truthful in its guidance to women not on the Spectrum in love or in relationship with a man on the Spectrum. I would say I can relate to a lot of it already, 2 months into my new relationship. To those untrained and inexperienced in relating with those on the Spectrum, this book as frank as it's written may very well scare some women off from dating those with AS (Asperger's Syndrome). So that was a concern I had as a reader...how this book as blunt and frank as it is...rather doesn't balance it quite enough with the positives, even though in each chapter there is a deliberate section called "Positive".

An increasingly important skill is emotional intelligence. At the cornerstone of this is self-awareness. To be emotionally intelligent is to be able to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions and to be in tune with others' emotions and to act with compassion. I am inspired by the people that I talk to all the time that have ASDs. They inspire me when they’re down because I want to help them and I can’t rest until I’ve made some kind of difference in the world. They inspire me when they’re thriving and successful; that gives me hope, because I too still struggle daily with trying to get along in this world. So we’re all in this together, pulling each other up. There’s a wonderful burgeoning sense of community in the world of ASDs which is amazing because of the isolation inherent in autism. This book is mostly written to depressed spouses of men with Asperger's Syndrome. This book will not help you out of your depression, because it's too depressing, but it will let you know that there are tons of other women like you that suffer through the same things. I guess that is one of the first steps of dealing with depression, so maybe it does help a little bit. I found the book almost horrifyingly negative, and also, worse, stereotypical. The point is made at the beginning that not everyone who has AS has the same difficulties, but almost in the next sentence, there are a list of things "all problematic for a person with AS." I almost closed the book then, as the person I am reading the book about does not have a problem with one of the things on that list. It wasn't just the AS men who were pigeon holed, I was constantly riled by reading what kind of woman I must be to have got into a relationship with an AS man. When you have mastered these capabilities, own them. Be all that you are capable of being and be proud of the woman you've become. You'll feel great about yourself and ultimately live a healthier, happier, more fulfilling and empowered life.

Imagine the sense of relief you would feel performing the Heimlich maneuver on your choking dinner guest or diving into a pool to save a drowning child! First aid and water safety skills are critical and lifesaving — and you never know when you might need them. Actually, many of the things described do not fit my man. Maybe he is not AS. Many of them do fit me. Maybe I am AS. Or maybe the book is so vague it is useless.PDF / EPUB File Name: 22_Things_a_Woman_Must_Know_If_She_Loves_a_Man_with_Aspergers_Syndrome_-_Rudy_Simone.pdf, 22_Things_a_Woman_Must_Know_If_She_Loves_a_Man_with_Aspergers_Syndrome_-_Rudy_Simone.epub

I would also suggest it's appropriate for platonic friendships with those on the Spectrum as well as family members and coworkers in its broadly-relevant themes excluding the sexuality aspects. Just good, solid advice to look to and anticipate. Even for those professionally trained to work with those on the Spectrum, an excellent refresher. You don't have to be Martha Stewart, but you do need to know your way around the kitchen so that you can whip a balanced meal for yourself. Create some signature dishes and impress your friends (and you!). You also need to know the basics of serving and storing food, so you don’t poison anyone by mistake! If you feel your spouse/partner may have Aspergers, I highly recommend this book. It may have you feeling a bit down, however, you will have a piece of the puzzle as to why he acts the way he does. Sending much love and strength to all with Aspergers and their partners.

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I did not however appreciate a few other points which I found to be generally false or condescending. Things like "he will take you and the relationship for granted", "just as the relationship progresses, he might get bored", "[some autistic men] knew they were being cruel but didn't care, suggesting a certain emotional detachedness", "stop calling him entirely to make him intrigued", "his moral compass won't always point north", "aspies are good liars", "they may blame you for something that is their own fault just because you are there", "he will put himself first", that an autistic man may feel ineffectual in times of crisis and think "why bother?" and not support you, "he will not care about the things you do without him"... you get the idea. This book also represents a diagnosis as the panacea for Asperger's. My guess is that a diagnosis helped a lot in the author's life, and I'm sure that often men with Asperger's will listen to the person making the diagnosis more than they listen to anyone else. But I think that the decision of a diagnosis can be a lot more complex than this book makes it out to be, and a piece of paper just by itself never did anything to anybody. So, I wish that the book had at least one step to do after you got a diagnosis. Safe to say that this book has expanded my knowledge in what I’ve been dealing for the past two years. However I’m washed over with regret for we’ve broken up, but nevertheless it has cleared up so many things that were clouded with doubt and uncertainty in my head. I’m very thankful to have read this book, and will read many more like this. One thing is certain in this life: change. But it is how change is managed that can be the difference between surviving and thriving. When you've grasped the concepts of managing change, life is easier for you and those around you. Many girls get driven around, waited on, have schoolwork done for them – some parents have even tried to negotiate their first jobs — and young women are left without the muscle to do what they can actually do for themselves. They are left doubting their abilities and their judgment and fear trying something on their own.

To build rapport and trust, you need to listen to what someone is not saying, as well as listening with your whole being. There is a science to learning body language and it can give you an advantage in your personal and business relationships — not to mention keeping you safe. Emotional intelligence is especially vital when you’re under stress, leading a team or generally having responsibility for others. To become a responsible person in society you need to self-manage and demonstrate your social skills. This means keeping your cool when somebody cuts you off, offering support when someone is in crisis, reading social cues, and using your best judgment when it comes to emotions. 10. Change management skills. These women and girls are missing out on real life that is often messy, sometimes scary and includes stuff that frankly you don’t always want to do. And missing out on a whole world of possibilities -- and pride. Loosen up, don't take yourself so seriously all the time and learn to have fun (yes, some people actually have to learn how). Humor has a way of diffusing a tense situation, like when your kids are driving you crazy. A well-timed, appropriate joke can build rapport in the office, too. If you can master this, you can make life a whole lot more enjoyable. 16. Socializing skills.This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where the male partner has Asperger's Syndrome. No matter what life throws your way, be ready for anything, with these 21 skills that EVERY woman should have: 1. Financial skills. A look at how to overcome common difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. Everyone should learn how to get through an emergency. Create a fire escape plan and know what to do in the event of an environmental disaster. 6. Goal-setting skills. Very valuable information for any woman in any type of romantic relationship with a man who has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). Really wish I'd gotten my hands on this sooner (well, honestly, I bought it a few years ago and have just now gotten around to reading it) because I really was feeling very alone with a lot of the struggles that my husband (who has AS) and I were having. Granted, not all of the topics covered in this book apply to me/my husband -- for example, the chapter on lying. In my experience (mostly with kids who are on the spectrum, but also in the years spent with my husband -- 11 years of relationship, the latter 7 years we've been married) people with AS are more often brutally honest.

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