Confessions of a Plumber's Mate

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Producer Michael Klinger rejected a script for Confessions from a Haunted House. Plans to shoot a Direct to Video film in the 1980s also came to nothing, as did a proposed 1992 film, Confessions of a Squaddie, with action due to take place in post-Gulf War Kuwait.

One of the girls, Brigitte (Linda Hayden), is a camp host and, therefore, ineligible for the contest, but she still has a very close relationship with Timmy. Eventually, the hippo explodes, hurling a naked Timmy into the swimming pool, where he is seen (but again not recognised) by Whitemonk. Confessions from a Holiday Camp has the honour of being possibly the only soft porn movie to star John Junkin AND have a theme tune by The Wurzels (Give Me England) . So, porn with a touch of humour, you might say . . . and without a touch of porn. Eventually, the beauty contest gets underway, compered by host Roughage (Colin Crompton), but the whole event is ruined before it starts by young Kevin (Nicholas Owen), who starts a massive cake fight. When production of Confessions of a Plumber’s Mate was cancelled, Rosie Dixon unknowingly marked Columbia Pictures’ last foray into British sex comedy.Linda Hayden played Timmy's fiancée in Confessions of a Window Cleaner and French co-worker, Brigitte in Confessions from a Holiday Camp, while Marianne Stone played a woman in the cinema in the former and a waitress in the latter. Adventures Of A Taxi Driver (1976) Girls and trouble are inseparable for young London taxi driver Joe North (a miscast Barry Evans) who uses his job…

California Suite (1978) Four groups of visitors stay at the swanky Beverly Hills Hotel and are forced to deal with problems ranging from a… Knowing when to make their exit, Timmy and Sid grab a go-kart and drive off. As Timmy says, moments before they hurtle into the boating lake, “There must be an easier way to make a living!”. A fifth and a sixth film, Confessions of a Plumber's Mate and Confessions of a Private Soldier, had been planned in 1977. Filming was set to begin on Plumber's Mate at the end of February 1978. Robin Askwith even expressed a desire to direct Private Soldier, but neither film materialised (the former became Adventures of a Plumber's Mate). In November 1977 the studio cancelled plans for future films. Columbia Pictures president David Begelman, who had been very supportive of the British film industry and who had green-lit the first film, had been implicated in a cheque-forging scandal and either quit or was fired. His successor had no interest in financing low-budget, profitable British films. Adopting the title Rosie Dixon – Night Nurse, the film was produced by experienced filmmakers Davina Belling and Clive Parsons, who spent over a year auditioning young hopefuls to take the leading role. Unfortunately for Timmy, Dad and Mum are in a ghostly mood too, and they have a very unusual (and unclothed) coming together . . .

He escapes into the camp announcer’s room, and – needless to say – the announcer (Kim Hardy) is a very shapely girl who is just dying for some attention. Timmy is happy to oblige, unaware that the sound effects of their love-making are being broadcast throughout the camp.

The guest stars (both in and out of bed) are of the usual Columbia calibre. Many faces are re-used from previous Confessions episodes, notably Liz Fraser as a dizzy housewife obsessed with winning newspaper competitions and John Le Mesurier as head surgeon Sir Archibald (more interested in the 3.30 at Newmarket than whipping out an appendix).

Prior to Pop Performer, a sequel called Confessions from the Clink was considered but never got further than production notes. The Night The Prowler (1978) This unusual Australian psychological drama stars Kerry Walker as Felicity Bannister, a lumpish, neurotic Sydney girl living with her middle-class…

Australia After Dark (1975) This 1975 'Ozploitation' pretend documentary - shot on 16mm film then blown up to 35mm for distribution - looks at… This was the fourth and last of these cheap but cheerful comedies, with Robin Askwith returning as an over-sexed entertainment officer at a camp run by an ex-prison officer. The tone is set by the opening shots of a rain-swept Havant railway station, and the main narrative unfolds in a grey Hayling Island. Nothing is going to keep Timmy’s Mum (Doris Hare), Dad (Bill Maynard) and sister Rosie (Sheila White) from a free holiday at the camp.

Upon it’s release North America in 1978 the film was entitled Confessions of a Summer Camp Counsellor. Soft focus prettiness sits awkwardly alongside comedy capers with a skeleton, humping in hospital laundry baskets and patients mistakenly drinking urine samples. In no time at all, Dad has the widow and her fellow mourners singing along in a rousing chorus of My Old Man Said Follow The Van.