Womb Raider [DVD]

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Cara soon meets up with Dillon, who passes the 'Eyes Up Here' test with flying colours, even when she poses in front of him to show off her 'native look'. As she puts on a spare t-shirt that he conveniently had waiting, he tells her that the co-ordinates for the next womb are just a short walk away. No, to samo govori da nije svatko stvoren za porno biznis jer ako u apsolutno svemu ne vidite potencijalni porno film, bavite se drugim poslom, budite računovođa. Due to financial and logistical deadlines the Producers were forced to shoot the film during the winter, making outdoor shooting conditions extremely uncomfortable, with the exception of desert locations, which were unusually perfect. Actress Lauren Hays refused to record her ADR (additional dialogue replacement) for the film so the Producers were forced to loop her entire part with the voice of another actress. However her voice can still be heard off screen on portions of the film's "behind-the-scenes" featurette.

The final womb is in a cave, guarded by a conveniently invisible barrier and two gold-painted statues of naked women wielding swords and wearing... smiling unicorn masks? Okay. Whatever. Hours of wandering later, she's still lost in the desert—though dressed again, in a victory for common sense, if not fanservice. She compensates by finally opening her one single canteen of water... and pouring the whole thing out over her face and cleavage. Idiot! Stupidity is not sexy! Aren't Zulu warriors extinct?" asks Dillon, failing history. But it turns out that there's a little more to it than that. Specifically, this "Zulu" warrior is immortal, so there's at least a 5% chance that Cara will have to think up some non-lesbian sex method for dealing with what is at least potentially a him.

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Natasha eagerly reaches for the prize, but that only activates the guards. They creep up behind, swords ready to strike, and in one case, breasts twitching oddly and horns... erect. I know," Milla tells her, handing over a card. "Tha mezzage. Dr. Scrotus wanted me to give thiz to you." The two chat, and Scrotus tells Cara that he was the one who accidentally—BWAH HA HA—sent her father to his death. They were searching for three sacred 'wombs', and it's something of a relief to find out that the title refers to these small idols scattered around the world. It may be a painful attempt to squeeze a pun out of the title, but at least it's not quite as gynecological as it sounded.

Još od 1999. gledatelji diljem svijeta uživali su u pomaknutim avanturama obitelji Griffin i nitko nije ni pomišljao da se u omiljenoj animiranoj skriva porno potencijal.S druge strane, ovakve filmove ionako ne gledate zbog dijaloga, a ševe se svi, od Homera i Marge do McBaina. Na svu sreću, Lise i Barta nema.

Excellent," announces Cara. "According to Dr. Scrotus' map, the second womb idol is buried in a holy mud pit guarded by an ancient Zulu warrior." The card is an invitation to Dr. Scrotus' house at 7PM the next day—the kind of thing usually best sent through the post instead of by a thief in the night, but then with a name like Dr. Scrotus it's not as though he has to worry about accidentally slipping into villainy or anything. Cara unsurprisingly blows her off. But first, she refuses the invitation on the grounds that she has yoga tomorrow.

Time-out. First, if this movie wanted to save itself, the correct response would have been "No, Bob Scrotus, the insurance salesman from Kennebunkport." But it doesn't. Instead, not only is the identifying factor of a man called "Scrotus" that he's an art-collector, he turns out to be the only person in this movie with a porny joke name. Would it have killed them to think up a spin on an actual character from the game series instead of... that? Jacqueline Natal, maybe? Pierre DuEveryone? Sophia Lay? So, yes. Womb Raider. Awful, obviously but still a better experience than The Cradle of Life, if only in the same way that root canal surgery will always be less fun than merely finding a hair in your soup. Even if you then look up to see an oily, bald chef standing in the kitchen. Reaching into his pants. Jedna od najomiljenijih obitelji na svijetu također je doživjela porno makeover, a ako u obzir uzmemo trud koji scenaristi porno filmova ulažu u svoje dijaloge, budite sigurni da je boja likova jedina stvar koju su uspjeli pogoditi. Sve ostalo je užas.