All That You Deserve

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If you are loving someone through their grief, remember that having nothing to say is okay. Remember to trust that your spirit will guide you when you are speechless. Remember that just being there for them and holding them when they need to be held is powerful. Remember that it is okay to feel deep sadness, too. It’s okay to cry with them. It’s okay to need other people’s support. It’s okay to need to be held through it too. Giving all of your compassion and care to someone is draining. Be there for yourself, too. You get through it the best you can together and in the end, it brings you closer together. I hope that no matter what happened to you, you know that you can find whole healing. I hope you offer yourself all the time you need to find your healing. People will try to make you talk through it. People will think they know what’s best for you but at the end of the day you are the only one who knows what’s best for you. Trust your instincts. Trust the inner voice that is nurturing and kind.

Those of us who touch darkness and persevere through it are the ones who experience more light and goodness in this life. Some of us choose to not let what happens to us victimize us, but instead, change our corners of the world in any positive way we can. We are the changemakers they talk about.

It’s okay to take as many moments as you need for yourself. Take all of the time you need to find your peace of mind. You matter so much more than anyone could ever make you understand. Relying on others to show you what you’re worth will never make you feel fulfilled. Even if you don’t believe it, remind yourself that you matter daily. As long as you are here, it is not too late to do the things you wish you had done by now. Living within a negative headspace of regret won’t get you anywhere. You will get to do what you want to do if you start trying to believe it can happen. The more negative energy you put out there, the less positive outcomes you will get. This is your reminder to believe in yourself. You are someone no one else is and that is your power. You are someone everyone should treat with nothing but goodness—if they don’t, they are not worthy of you. You can do what you think you can’t. You can prove them wrong. You can prove yourself wrong. You can move on from the people and memories you think you can’t move on from. You can find a kind of love that makes you understand what it means to hold someone who takes your breath away. Someone who makes you laugh until you can hardly breathe. Someone who is so tender that you find yourself holding your breath wondering how they ever became yours. You can accomplish what you think you can’t.

I hope you find time to remind yourself that you are where you need to be and you will get to where you want to be. I hope you don’t believe what they did to you was your fault. Maybe you made choices that make you think it was your fault, but you have to remember we don’t always make the best decisions when we’re doing our best to simply survive. Sometimes when we’re living in survival mode we hold onto anyone who holds out a hand even if that hand is deceiving. These are the kind of hands that lie. The kind of hands that touch people for their own pleasure. The kind of hands that get what they want however they want to. The kind of hands that are weak and don’t deserve the souls they take advantage of. Choose your truth over fear. Choose to step out on your own knowing that whenever you need support, someone will be there. Choose to choose yourself over anyone else. What is best for you will find you. What is meant to be will come to be. Life is a rhythm of highs and lows and in-betweens, but it is all a part of your story. It all matters.

Figuring your life out won’t happen overnight, because it shouldn’t. Part of the process is finding patience with the process. You will start to know what to do or where to go once you truly let go. I hope you don’t lose yourself trying to hold onto someone else. I hope you give your heartache permission to teach you. You will never be the same in relationships again and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe you will learn what it means to be treated in the way you’ve always been told you deserve. Maybe you will appreciate the people who come into your life for the first time even more than you would have before. Maybe you will see that, even though not everything happens for a reason, through everything can come something beautiful. Light always comes after dark.