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I Want to be a Wall, Vol. 1

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Gee, it's almost as though being aspec is inherently queer and our struggles line up with other queer identities due to not fitting into established social narratives and that exclusionist movement that persisted for a couple years when I was a teen was full of shit and needed to shut up and actually listen to us about our experiences and no I'm not still haunted by that, it's not like I ran an aspec blog during the height of that bullshit and had to field terrible shit when I was sixteen, nope, not at all. This manga left me feeling torn. On the one hand, Yuriko and Gakurouta were a sweet pair, and I enjoyed watching them try their hardest to make their marriage work despite not having a clue what a marriage that doesn't include sex or romance should look like. On the other hand, I felt like the manga started at the wrong point, leaving me with all kinds of questions. Also, I wasn't entirely comfortable with how Yuriko's interest in Gakurouta's one-sided love for Sousuke was written.

Anyway, I am really happy with this set up and really optimistic about its handling of aspec identity which is so, so nice since there aren't many honest explorations of those experiences. And I want to establish - the English translation does simply refer to Yuriko as "asexual," though it is established through conversation that she experiences neither romantic nor sexual attraction. I've been informed that this is likely a translation thing that they don't seperate aromanticism and asexuality, but Yuriko IS aroace, there is no denying it. Instead, our married protags dedicate themselves to a caring partnership just because they want to. Yuriko decides, after a bad attempt at cooking breakfast by Gaku, to make dinner for them. She decides to “channel her OTP” and make some “Croquettes of Love”. In her own determination panel, fist clenched around her phone and a determined, though more fanatical, look on her face, Yuriko buys the ingredients. Only to get home and realize that Gaku did the same thing.I am absolutely in love with this relationship! A pair of friends, an ace/aro woman who only enjoys the concept of sex and love in her BL (boys' love) books and a gay man in love with his straight childhood friend, have a marriage of convenience and they're SO GOOD to each other. I can see this going many ways with this plot setup, but this is a strong start. There's finally a respectful representation of ace/aro people in manga! However, she's a fujoshi and I can see how her love of yaoi might skirt into the "women fetishizing gay men" territory for some readers. It's not nearly as bad as others, like Wotakoi and Princess Jellyfish, and some might find her reasons for enjoying yaoi justified (she doesn't have to see women/herself represented). It really depends on the reader's comfort level. I personally enjoyed this; my demi heart felt very validated. I Want to be a Wall is fresh and fluffy and I'm looking forward to future volume(s)! When I heard about this manga I was surprised, because I heard that it was about an aroace woman and a gay man. I have seen aroace representation in manga once before, and I thought that was the only piece I would get. I am so happy that there seems to be more aroace characters being created, and the sexuality is beginning to be understood!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policythat forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.— What's It About? Yuriko, an asexual woman, agrees to take a husband to satisfy her parents—which is how she finds herself tying the knot with Gakurouta, a gay man in love with his childhood friend with his own complicated family circumstances. And so begins the tale of their marriage of convenience. I spent the entire volume wondering how Yuriko and Gakurouta had met, learned each other's secrets, and decided to get married. They clearly liked and wanted to support each other, but they also barely knew anything about each other - it read like an arranged marriage that had somehow worked out. Did they meet via some kind of LGBT+ matchmaking service? In a cute realization, Yuriko comments that “They say ‘like marries like’?”. I love this scene because the story allows Yuriko and Gaku time to see each other as similar through their mutual desire to care for one another without expectations beyond that. This idea of many ways to care is supported through Yuriko’s self-discovery story. Shirono explores Yuriko’s ace identity in a complex way that reminds allosexual and alloromantic folks that there are many ways to want to be around and care for people. That said, I’m not entirely convinced at the strict heterosexuality of the other guy, given his incredibly rapid cycling of his girlfriends and some rather suggestive prose that crops up. It would be rather ironic if people who constantly get mislabeled accidentally did the same to him instead.

Discussions

Gakurouta is a gay man who has always been extremely close to his childhood friend, Sousuke. Ten years ago, he realized that he'd fallen in love with his friend...who was very popular with the ladies and gave no indication of any interest in men. He's since tried to fall out of love with Sousuke, but it didn't work, and he has now resigned himself to forever nursing a one-sided love. Yuriko is an asexual woman who loves reading about fictional characters' romances, particularly in "boys' love" (BL, m/m) manga and novels, but who has spent a large portion of her life feeling like she doesn't really fit in because she's never been in love and doesn't even really want it to happen to her. When I read the premise, I hoped the book would fall into a group of manga that I have come to adore. I call it “married couple, with a twist”. It’s where I categorize series like The Way of the Househusband and The Full Time Wife Escapist. And I’ve heard Spy x Family may fall into this too but I’ve not experienced that series yet.

Yuriko and Gakurouta know the sides of each other that won't allow them to fit in with regular society, but otherwise they know very little about each other. This first volume shows them gradually adjusting to their new married life and figuring out what that relationship means for them.Yuriko is the strongest element of the book, honestly, and the portrayal her aromantic nature seems about right, but what I think the book does especially well is portraying the ‘death by a thousand cuts’ nature of others talking to those identifying as ace, which I’m going to wager is still pretty prevalent. Platonic Life-Partners: While Yuriko and Gakurouta aren't attracted to each other, they still treat their marriage as a serious partnership and act as a support system to one another.

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