Eight Dates: To keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting

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As a pedagogy expert, I can tell you, to do these dates as written, it would be best to do one per month. Plan one at end of month with 2 hours per week spent in mini dates working on the chap reading, surveys, and questionnaires required leading up to that date.

Offering empowering ways to discover the love you want and deserve, this extensively tested program of eight fun, conversation-based dates will result in a lifetime of understanding and commitment, whether you’re newly in love or have been together for decades. What we did:The date called for us to make a physical tribute to the other person. We decided to make a photo collage on Mint to hang in our bedroom. We journeyed to the past as we went through old vacation photos, Snapchat screenshots, and silly videos. After finishing the collage, we answered questions about rituals of connection and life goals. Practically speaking, this book is very user-friendly. It talks about each topic, summarizes the chapter, then lays out a date night plan complete with suggestions for how to prepare, where to go, problems to look out for, questions to ask, and an affirmation to say together at the end of the date. It’s intense but also very doable. My husband and I haven’t gone through each of these dates yet, but the ones we’ve done have been really interesting and made us feel more connected. The Turn-Toward Date: This date is focused on building emotional connection and intimacy through understanding and responding to each other’s needs and emotions. The goal of this date is to help couples become more attuned to each other’s emotional states, and to learn how to respond to each other’s needs and emotions in a supportive and caring way. This date is designed to help couples build a deeper emotional connection and intimacy with each other, and to create a more supportive and loving relationship. To do this, couples can practice active listening and empathic responding, which involves listening attentively to each other’s emotions and needs and responding in a caring and supportive way. This can help couples build a deeper emotional connection and intimacy with each other, and can also help them feel more supported and understood by their partner.

Family - what do you consider to be your family? How will you maintain your relationship when you’re busy with kids if you intend to have some. Contrary to common wisdom, 2 out of 3 couples “have a sharp drop in marital satisfaction shortly after a child is born, and this drop gets deeper with each subsequent child.” To avoid this, fathers need to get more involved, and partners need to discuss the family topic as often as possible. Reserve your fifth date to ask each other the following questions: “What does your ideal family look like?”“If you want children, how many children would you like to have?” and “What are the ways in which your parents did or did not appear to maintain their closeness, love, and romance after having children?” Date No. 6: Play with me – fun and adventure Are there differences we cannot accept?” (i.e. differences in emotionality, wanting time together vs. apart or alone, optimal sexual frequency, how to approach household chores and childcare, ambition and value/importance of work, etc.).

I used to operate the same way. But my perspective on this changed a few years ago when I interviewed several divorce lawyers about the common reasons couples get divorced, aside from infidelity or money issues. What we learned:It’s fascinating to hear not only how someone spends or saves, but why they’ve developed those habits. My favorite question asked about our most painful childhood memories around money. I once had a middle school meltdown because my spoiled neighbor received 10 shimmery MAC eyeshadows — the sixth-grade equivalent of a Rolex — from her parents for Valentine’s Day. What kind of parents give their kids presents on Valentine’s Day?! Readers who do not prepare for and complete the dates are unlikely to enjoy Eight Dates. Conclusion One way or another, the difference between separation and life-long happiness is measurable in intimate discussions. Well, these are the eight that matter the most. 12min Tip Money is one of the top 5 issues that cause conflict in couples. However, since “money issues aren’t about dollars and cents” but “about what money means to each partner in a relationship,” they won’t be resolved by stereotyping one half of a couple as the saver and the other as the spender – you need to really discover what money means to both of you. So, discuss your biggest money-related fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner. Commit to working together toward a shared financial goal. Date No. 5: Room to grow – family

A candlelit dinner in your favorite romantic restaurant is the perfect location for your third date, during which you ought to explore and discuss topics such as romance, sex, and physical intimacy. Prepare to be vulnerable and bring an open mind and a “yes, and…” attitude to the table. Take turns with your partner answering questions such as “What turns you on?”“Where and how you like to be touched?” and “How can I enhance your passion?” End your date by committing to creating romantic rituals of your own for connection, ranging from a 6-second kiss instead of a “goodbye” to passionate meetings outside your bedroom. Date No. 4: The cost of love – work and money

My partner and I read this book over a series of date nights starting in March 2020, and ending on New Years 2021. We took it slow, read the book carefully, and meaningfully asked and answered each of the questions, and having discussions about each date, our family history, and what we felt and thought about each idea and topic as they came up. This was a lot of fun for us. It allowed us to grow and get to know each other better, gave us good tips and information on how to interact with each other to reduce conflict and increase understanding, and made for some good quality time together; this is now a regular thing, and we will continue to read books together over the next year and maybe beyond. I would be interested to read critique of Gottman's research by researchers as I am not one myself - all thoughts are my own as a layperson. Studies have shown that dual-career couples with young children spend only 10% of their evenings together, with most of that time spent discussing errands. (In other words, they have to work extra hard to keep that romantic spark alive…)First the run of the motor. Then pop. Pause. Pop. Pause. Pop. Pop. Pop. In between a steady stream of pops, I could just barely make out the sound of his voice on a phone call.