My Feudal Lord

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One of them, working on a paper about Saving Muslim Women and how Islamophobic narratives are used to justify military interventions in Muslim-majority countries, wrote about American anthropologist Lila Abu-Lughod.

He fed his monsters by squashing Tehmina’s hopes, her dreams, humiliating her in every aspect possible, abusing her mentally and sexually, harassing her with his grotesque profanities, controlling her with his dire threats, leaving her petrified. She is particularly critical of Mustafa Khar as he is shown as playboy,ruthless political animal and some one who corrupts her younger sister, a 16 year old (whom he later marries after divorcing Miss Durrani, not before making her a woman in the due process, quite a scandal). At the time, Sethi was being detained without charge by Intelligence Bureau (Pakistan) for his comments to a British Broadcasting Corporation news team about government corruption. This connection between the Mustafa Khar that other people saw and the reality of who he was—a vicious and cruel person—seemed to be pervasive throughout both his political life as well as his personal.Her superstitious visions, believe in perpetual conspiracies, periods of extreme religiosity and extreme emotional decisions, her artistic tendencies pointed out something about her abnormal mental state. She will be intertwining her writing and painting in her coffee table book by the same name, A Love Affair, with a print version of these paintings along with poems and songs that inspired her paintings.

And in a cavalier moment that truly showed the fast-food nature of upper class unions, and self-serving political rivalries in Pakistan, her former husband (Khar) accompanied her current husband (Shahbaz) on a plane on 10th Sept. When she married Mustafa Khar, one of Pakistan's most eminent political figures, she continued to move in the best circles, and learned to keep up the public façade as a glamorous, cultivated wife, and mother of four children. Among her other siblings, Adila, the youngest and fairest of all was given the family title of princess. One who has been restricted by the community’s concepts of modesty must understand why another would want to break out of them. I think we need to have a very honest conversation about why we assume patriarchal notions won’t exist where they do, and how stereotypes can plague even those who mean well.According to my friend’s paper, the enduring legacy and bestselling status of books such as this one are dangerous indicators because they ‘feed shallow generalizations about Muslim societies instead of informing the reader of the ‘radical specificity’ of each case’. During political discussions, she did seem to show off as a nicer and idealistic person, which seems suspect to me.

There's a lot of politics involved in the book which often made me feel that I was reading Khar's biography instead. In multiple scenes, the ghastly things that Khar did are presented as an example of his prowess or his thinking abilities rather than as a testament to his foul personality. As much as I feel sorry for Tehmina, I am angry at her for being too quick to leave Anees but not leaving Khar earlier. Tehmina’s divorce, her first, and Khar’s plan to leave his heavily pregnant wife (his fifth) caused a shit storm, because in Pakistan all divorces are treated as worse than the possibility that a man might be abusing his wife.

It sounds like how a person, horrified by someone’s cruelty and misogyny, is simultaneously awed by them and how, by indulging in their horrible behavior, the person has managed to gain and retain power. Tehmina’s spirit, her interest in politics for the improvement of Pakistan, and her children were the only things which gave her strength to face Mustafa like a Spartan. The social repercussions for a domestic abuser / serial polygamist / political honcho are still inconsequential, and as the wife of a political leader / chief minister, she is expected to play the graceful 'seen-not heard' part.

Miss Durrani narrates about her life and that of her husband Mr Mustafa Khar's in Pakistan(who is uncle of Hina Rabbani Khar).She hated her sister for following her footsteps in starting an affair with a powerful and charismatic man (Mustafa khar). Though I agree with some of the other reviews that the author comes off as insincere, I have to believe that most of what she claims is true, though possibly dramatized and exaggerated. Even if one were to simply read it as an autobiography, or a series of events, there is little to no emotional payoff. Durrani engaged the Italian cosmetics firm Sant' Angelica and the government of Italy to treat Younus.