Too Much: the hilarious, heartfelt memoir

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An extraordinary portrait of a son navigating his way through grief and loss in real time. Funny, candid, and measured' GRAHAM NORTON Funny and honest, but never mawkish or maudlin, this is an often emotional and relatable account of the practicalities and rollercoaster of emotions that follow in the wake of a death.

I wish Cathy had stayed away from Two Doors Down 24 November, 2023 Sandi Toksvig: 'I'm distressed by anti-trans 'radical feminists'' 23 November, 2023 Russell Kane: 'When you come from a council estate you have no shame' 15 November, 2023 And does Allen feel like a grown up now? “I do, to an extent, yes. Now that dad isn’t around to scoop me up and rescue me. So I want to pass on what wisdom I’ve learned.” But he still sleeps with the light on. “I’m scared of being misunderstood,” he says, “and I’m scared of the dark.”The comedian published No Shame in 2020 about growing up in 1990s suburbia, coming to terms with his sexuality and feeling like an outsider.

Tom’s dad was an avid gardener and tried to teach him a thing or too, which Tom was never too keen on. But when his dad died, Tom turned to gardening to deal with his grief and wished he’d paid more attention to his dad’s lessons. This resonates with me so much, as this was also me and my mum: With his signature acerbic wit and riotous storytelling, Tom Allen has cemented himself as a household name and star on both stage and screen. He’s the hilarious host of The Apprentice: You’re Fired, he co-hosts Cooking with the Stars and is also a regular on Bake Off: An Extra Slice and Alan Carr’s There’s Something About Movies. In 2021 he became the co-host of Channel 4’s Complaints Welcome, and last year hosted brand-new Dave series The Island. When Tom Allen’s first memoir, No Shame, was published in 2020, he was 37, permanently single and living at home with his parents in Bromley. Two years on, circumstances have changed. Allen has a boyfriend and a house of his own, minutes away from the family home, but his dad died suddenly at the end of 2021. Too Much is his attempt to face that loss, come to terms with their imperfect relationship and learn how to be an adult now his much-loved role model is gone. Fans of his arch and cutting comedy might be surprised to find that the book is heartfelt, vulnerable and touchingly sincere. Although Allen has finally found a comfortable place in that mainstream, presenting shows such as The Apprentice: You’re Fired and Bake Off’s Extra Slice, readers of his 2020 memoir, No Shame, will know that it took him a long time to feel at ease with himself. You feel that when watching him deliver his playful swipes at the Bake Off contestants and audience – “that kind of teasing and banter, it’s how we make people feel included in this country, isn’t it. We know we’re real friends when we’re safe enough to say mean things to each other. It’s a shield against all the actual cruelty in the world. It feels like an unspoken communion. That’s where I feel most real.”

Allen decided to write a series of diary entries/vignettes of stories about his adored dad as a way of coming to terms with his terrible loss. With each chapter headed by a quote from his dad, Allen explores his relationship with his father as a way of attempting to come to terms with his grief and its complexities. Allen’s dad “wasn’t particularly huggy. We don’t all express ourselves like hallmark cards, do we? He wouldn’t say: ‘I love you, son.’ He showed he cared by making you a bacon sandwich. The last text he sent me was an offer to come over and bleed the radiators. In the inevitable way of things I found myself going: ‘Dad! I’m a grown up! I don’t need you to help me with the bins!’ But it turns out I do. I keep forgetting to put out the bins.” He shrugs. “I think I really came to appreciate that was his love language through writing the book, although I knew it in my soul I suppose.” Tom Allen also has a stand-up tour coming up. More details here. And this Thursday, October 20 on ITV1 at 9pm he can be seen on DNA Journey with Joel Dommett, where among other sensational revelations he discovers that he is related to none other than television legend Gloria Hunniford.

I used to think: I’m going to live in a flat in somewhere trendy like Elephant and Castle, which is essentially just a roundabout, living the urban gay hipster dream. I’ll grow a moustache, it’ll be great. Eventually I realised that isn’t me at all, and found this house around the corner from my parents. Suburbia is where I’ve always felt most comfortable. In the hinterland between countryside and city, you have a bit more space to play. My dad grew vegetables and I thought that would be a healing thing to do. It’s very calming to watch how things grow. When I’m in the garden, everything is all right. I know queer authors only got more publishing choices recently so I think the younger queer folks could appreciate this book more than I did. Oftentimes, I thought Allen was just talking and talking and it got us to no where. I specially liked the last chapter and the epilogue and I think they kind of have a message that I did appreciate! One of the most valuable aspects of No Shame is its admission that self-doubt can linger even after coming out. “It doesn’t go away overnight,” he says. “While it’s wonderful that we have made great steps in terms of law and visibility, it can be difficult to catch up with that positivity if you carry internalised negativity after all those years.” Take that Pride slogan, Love Is Love. “It’s wonderful, and so true. But I, for one, have never been in love and so I feel, ‘Oh, that’s something else I can’t join in with.’ Because I’ve found it impossible to have a meaningful long-term relationship.”Join Tom Allen, star of stage and screen, as he discusses his hilarious, honest and touching new book Too Much, followed by the chance to ask questions in an audience Q&A. I love talking to the slightly more mature bakers, partly because that’s kind of how I see myself. So I enjoyed Carole and Dawn this year, Maggie last year, Linda and Rowan the year before. The older bakers are always fun.