Office Fantasies

Product Information

The sexual fantasy about the colleague – figure of intermediate proximity, both known and unknown – appears as an escape from the company’ And so I fell into a routine of mostly being enamored and distracted. Today, like most days he walked in and greeted me. His knowing smile elicited a familiar tug between my legs that floated up through my stomach. I wanted him. Try writing down what you want to talk about before you broach the subject – this can help you organise your thoughts and think about the questions your partner might have. For Annabelle, it’s a must that all her boyfriends are into CFNM. ‘It’s one of the top requirements,’ she says. Annabelle raises the topic fairly early on: ‘I wouldn’t blurt it out right at the outset, but I’d cover it at the sex chat stage, if I thought the relationship was going somewhere. I’d ask if they had any fetishes or interests – most respond with something – then I’d mention CFNM.”

The men were required to stay erect at all times without touching their genitals. Punishment for losing their erections included ice-cubes being melted on their bodies and being spanked. Recalling his punishments, Terry says, ‘I was face-sat for ten minutes.’ Morality: fantasy can help you escape your dreary, everyday life at the office; it can also cause a great deal of havoc. But it’s something you can also act on, provided the conditions are met to allow it to flourish outside the context of power relationships. So what if you invited your colleague to step out the usual framework, and let yourself be surprised by reality? I’m sure it’s not the best idea in the world to start sleeping with your boss. But I couldn’t remember ever having such a strong physical and mental connection with someone, and I trusted him, he was going to act responsibly for both of us, if something bad happened and things weren’t great, he could help me get a similar job somewhere else. I didn’t want to say no to something so intoxicating for a job I cared very little about.

4. The exchange of money

First of all, remember that an authentic sexual and loving encounter is only possible if we question with clarity the nature of our desire and motivations towards the other. Could sleeping with your boss or someone beneath you in the hierarchy be a way of trying to feel relationships of social domination within the love relationship, to stimulate desire? After all, business leaders are twice as likely as others to attempt a workplace fling – does this mean their position feeds their desire for conquest? Ideally, you could take advantage of an event that might merge the private and professional spheres – or even provoke it. Why not try to get close to them during the annual seminar in the countryside, or ask if they’d like to meet up in another setting? We sometimes need to change space to reveal other facets of our multiple identities: we’re not the same at work and outside. A friend told me they only started to see her handsome colleague in a new light after she accepted his invitation to attend the Dunkirk carnival. Now, they form a happy couple. Get up,” he said, hurriedly lifting me up and spinning me around. He grabbed my breasts roughly, bending me forward over the desk. My only thought was, Yessss. Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end?’

According to Annabelle, her events tend to start with a striptease from the men. ‘A performance is a must – if they just take their clothes off, what’s the point?’ She says. ‘Forfeits for the worst will be determined by us ladies. It could be a spanking or we might make them melt an ice cube in their bum – it’s entertaining to see them squirm.’Finally, the survey looked at the most sexually adventurous areas in the UK and found that Cardiff is the most sexually open city, with 85% of people trying at least one sexual fantasy, closely followed by Birmingham with 83% and Liverpool with 78%.

Obviously, it’s difficult to assess the sincerity of our own desire. Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end? A test would be to imagine the other naked, stripped of their position in the company, of their place in the hierarchy, their uniform or blouse, and see if the desire remains intact. Imagine your colleague in their simplest form: you’ll see if they’re as attractive as they are when they’re talking in a meeting! Activities include massages and ‘competitions such as a wank-off’. ‘The guys wank themselves and the last one to cum wins,’ says Annabelle. ‘Sometimes we give them a cookie – it’s kind of a joke prize – but really it’s for the honour of knowing he lasted longer.’ Couples therapy can be a great avenue for opening up conversations about sex and the development of your sex life, if you both feel the need to have a mediator there. A source of joy, this power energises us, it makes us feel alive and therefore poses no threat. What fantasy most often reveals, far from questioning our marital or family situation, is a confirmation of its materiality: it’s because we have a fantasy life that we are capable of living daily with someone. So there’s no need to give too much weight to your inclinations in the office! Fantasy makes it possible to negotiate the tension between the concern to preserve monogamous conjugality and the temptation of infidelity’

Stars: Sharon Kane , Eric Edwards , Robert Kerman , Honey Wilder , Bobby Astyr , Karen Jeffries , Don Edmonds , Chelsea Blake

Annabelle doubts that she could sustain a relationship with a guy who wasn’t into CFNM, explaining: ‘There’s nothing better than being clothed in front of a hot naked man, commanding and dictating his every action.’ More reserved cities on the list were London, with 34% of people never trying out a sexual fantasy in real life, followed by Brighton (32%) and Edinburgh (31%). Annabelle, who organises CFNM events, echoes Terry when she says, ‘only once did we do some dominatrix style attire. Usually we don’t wear anything in particular – just normal clothes – nothing that excites the men too much.’ The sexual fantasy about the colleague – a figure of intermediate proximity, both known and unknown – feels like breaking free from the company, which in some aspects is like a “total institution”. The American sociologist Ervin Goffman describes the latter as “a place of residence and work where a large number of like-situated individuals, cut off from the wider society for an appreciable period of time, together lead an enclosed, formally administered round of life” ( Asylums, 1961). Sex researchers have wondered the same thing. Several research studies have focused on what women fantasize about. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “What Exactly Is an Unusual Fantasy?”, wanted to determine which sexual fantasies are common among women. The researchers asked women living in Quebec to answer the Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. 799 women completed the questionnaire, of which the majority were heterosexual. The fifteen most common fantasies as reported by these women are listed below.Sir’ now, is it?” He asked, moving next to me, standing above me looking down with that look on his face. While we need to be mindful of our partners boundaries and respect their right to say no, there’s no harm in broaching the subject with a sexual partner.