When I First Held You

Product Information

Anstey Harris calls on her own past in this rich and evocative account of Judith, James (Jude & Jimmy) and the people that arrive in their lives from the past, both known and unknown. When I First Held You is the third novel by award-winning British author, Anstey Harris. Four years widowed, Judith Franklin is still grieving the loss of her partner of almost fifty years, artist Catherine Rolf. In her memory, and funded by the sale of her phenomenal work, Judy runs a little shop where volunteers repair, restore and repurpose items brought in by customers; no money changes hands. It's the 1960s and Judith leaves home to become an anti-nuclear activist. After she gets to Glasgow, she meets a boy and they fall head over heels for each other. Judith is about to tell Jimmy that she's pregnant but there's a police raid and he's sent to prison. Harris was born in an unmarried mothers’ home in Liverpool in 1965. She has been inspired by her fami

I am reminded of what I have always known: that it isn’t hope that moves mountains – mends hearts – it is unity.’ For all the pain in this book, with its exploration of the agony of different aspects of loss, it is balanced by love, understanding, and reconciliation in abundance. Judith's journey is an all consuming one, and Harris tells it with accomplished skill. My favourite theme is the way Harris uses unity - especially at the end of the book. I sobbed! The essays cover a wide range of families, even including a gay man acting as a sperm donor for a lesbian couple. Sadly most of the fathers either come from broken homes or broke their own homes. That leads to a lot of anguish and anger and angst and shows how immature too many people are when they first have children. Two essays in particular are extremely vitriolic. One father with ALS is very bitter about his condition robbing him of his interaction with his children; he goes so far as to outright curse God which is a 180 degree view from most of the other essays (see below). Another father uses his essay as an anti-vaccine soapbox, deriding those who oppose his viewpoint as simpletons who think the world is flat. While this essay has an uplifting closing the anti-vaccine slant put me off from the beginning. This was the only truly political essay and felt out of place amongst all the other personal stories. Join Liz Robinson for our publication date specialFestival Favourites event on LoveReading LitFest. Join Liz Robinson for our publication date specialFestival Favourites event on LoveReading LitFest. About This Edition ISBN:

Advance Praise

From the very first sentence of an Anstey Harris book the reader knows they are about to encounter something very special indeed and When I First Held You is no exception. It’s fabulous. It’s breath-taking. It’s exceptional.

This story is told from the perspective of Judith, who was forced to give up her baby, and Ruby, her biological granddaughter. These two perspectives allowed for a sensitive balance within the story. James – aka Jimmy – has his perspective included via his interactions with both Judith and Ruby. You see, as the story progresses, just how much of an injustice was done to both Judith and Jimmy, by their own parents, whose well-meaning intentions caused nothing but grief with far-reaching consequences. Anstey Harris's books are not always an easy read, but they are worth it. I look forward to reading more by this talented author. I'm not sure. But when you're looking from separate perspectives on a major event from fifty-some years ago, there's a better than average chance that no two recollections will completely mesh, and when your character witnesses are mostly dead... I feel a Maya Angelou quote coming on.These gifted writers charge full-force into the heart of fatherhood…[An] impressive collection.”— Publishers Weekly A] fabulous new anthology of fatherhood essays…A true must-read for pros and expectant parents alike. It’s cutting and honest and hilarious and sad, with 22 essays from some of our best writers, such as Dennis Lehane, Justin Cronin, Lev Grossman, and many, many more…The essays are incredibly refreshing because they show fatherhood in such a vulnerable light—the good, the bad, the frustrating, and incredibly wonderful.”— Parade magazine This was beautiful. The writing, the story, the characters, the heartbreak- all of it. I wasn’t sure what to expect in this novel, but my heart needed this.

This is also the telling of a story about unmarried mothers homes. What happened to the women and happened to the babies is powerful and needs to be told, it sent me down a rabbit hole, to learn and to educate myself. It is a shame that should not be hidden, it is our countries history, an abuse that was carried out and should not be forgotten. The characterisation is outstanding and you can visualise all with ease. Ruby who we are introduced to in the present day is a breath of fresh air and helps James but especially Judith to lay some ghosts to rest. There is not one unlikable character which makes a very refreshing change!! As the novel reaches its conclusion it’s hard not to shed a tear. It’s an emotional and at times heartbreaking but equally heartwarming read which I thoroughly enjoy.The characters in this book are beautiful. I loved how the story was told, how things unfolded, and how the plot moved between the past and the present. The character narration was vivid, emotional, and honest. Ruby and Judith's relationship was amazing!! I like how they're both flawed characters willing to be better for one another. I’ll be the first to admit, as a dad myself, I approach all reading and watching on the subject of fatherhood with some trepidation. We occupy a moment in the American zeitgeist when the examination of dads sets a pretty low conversational bar. From television and film depictions of fathers, to popular "Dads-for-Dummies"-type parenting manuals, we see fathers as little other than reluctant and inept, if well-meaning, buffoons. Juxtaposed with the way in which, story after story, we laud the most mediocre attempts at successful fathering while belittling even the most herculean efforts of mothers, and we aren’t really left with much wiggle room for a serious discussion on the subject. So, cautiously, I approached When I First Held You, published by Berkley Publications and edited by Brian Gresko, wherein nearly two dozen literary dads wax poetic on the trials, tribulations, and gratifications of being a dad.

The plot is so skilfully crafted as Judith’s past is interwoven with her present. And Judith is such a complex and layered character. Driven by extremes of love, bitterness and rage, she embodies humanity in its raw state. I loved meeting her. I adored too, the maturity of her age. When I First Held You simply couldn’t have been about a younger woman. The narrative needs her complexities, her insecurities and her strengths. She is the full sum of her 75 year old self. I was sent a copy of this book by the books publicists FMCM associates to take part in a book tour on social media and will be publishing this review on social media and on my book blog on 20th January Take a Look at Our Summary of November Highlights, Whether You're Looking for the Latest Releases or Gift InspirationThis is my first book from Anstey Harris, and I have been bowled over by her beautiful writing. Judith's voice drew me in from the very beginning, and the impact of her sense of loss is heart-breaking to bear witness to. She is beginning to find a way forward until Jimmy intrudes into her life, but his arrival brings up all the things she thought she had recovered from through her happiness with Catherine, opening raw wounds once again. What can I say about this incredible novel? One of the most heartbreaking and yet utterly uplifting stories I’ve read in a long time. In 1960s Glasgow, anti-nuclear activists Judith and Jimmy fall in love. The government calls them terrorists (and raises the question where is the line between the two?). In the past we follow Judith’s story from leaving home to meeting Jimmy and the raid that results in Jimmy’s incarceration. In the meantime, Judith is pregnant and with no word from Jimmy, Judith must enter an unmarried mothers’ home where she is forced to give up her child despite trying to keep it (being a single mother was not an option if you can imagine it). Judith does what she must and builds a new life for herself. Nearly two dozen male writers contribute essays on the trials, tribulations and pleasures of being a father.